How Hubby wants his funeral to be…
Since we were talking about the topic previously, here’s the conversation between Hubby and I a few nights ago:
Me (after being all teary and sad after the morbid thought of myself dying young):
“So, what about you, how do you want your funeral to be?”
Hubby:
“Hrm… a wine bar. Hold the wake in a wine bar or some restaurant where people can drink. O yah, FREE corkage.”
“O yah, then open all my wines and let the guests drink. My last present to all my dear friends”
(By the way, Hubby easily has at least 500 bottles of wine. His wine fridge at home is bursting and his wine storage at Extra Space is clearly not getting “extra” anymore. So, friends who attend the wake will most probably die of alcohol poisoning if I were to follow his last wishes)
“Remember to invite all my ex-girlfriends as well. O yah, the waitresses who are serving the wines must also be pretty…”
%$#*@& ??!!??!!??!!??!!
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
How would you want your funeral to be?
Hubby’s colleague’s wife passed away very suddenly 2 nights ago.
She was up and well, with no inherent or chronic illness. She was only 33 years old, was doing every day’s ordinary stuff, such as watching Korean drama at home, when suddenly, she fainted and had a seizure. Apparently from a stroke.
When I first heard about the incident, I remembered that I told Hubby that she could very well, make a full recovery since she was still so young, at only 33 years old. So, we were discussing how damaging stress can be, and how determination and positive outlook can aid to a full recovery for a stroke patient.
Then a day later, I heard that this lady had passed away.
It took me really by surprise. I mean, how often do you hear a young adult suffer a stroke? Let alone die from it?
Hubby described how everyone really took it very badly at the wake, especially his colleague (ie: the lady’s husband), and it was really heart-breaking.
Upon hearing that, I couldn’t help but to tear and felt really very sad that such a promising life was lost. I would most probably go mad with grief if anything similar were to happen to me.
Then Hubby and I had a very morbid discussion about how we would like our funerals to be, and how the other surviving spouse must be brave and live life to the fullest.
We have promised to each other that, the surviving spouse must be brave and find love once again. If there were children, the children will be reminded of how much the deceased parent must have loved them, but mustn’t stop them from accepting another new parent’s love. The surviving spouse should not let grief and sadness overwhelm, but must find the strength to lead a purposeful life. Nonetheless, a yearly tribute to the deceased spouse on the anniversary would be nice.
I told Hubby that I’ll only want very close friends and relatives to attend my funeral. Hopefully it will not be held at a void deck or the Singapore Casket, but a place like a park, surrounded by pretty flowers and plants, but still very serene and peaceful. No religious rites would be required.
I hope my friends would share about what they would most miss about me and how I had made an impact to their life or outlook. If my death were very sudden, I’ll rather that Hubby took a few weeks to compose himself and then held the wake later, instead of being too emotionally unstable to conduct the wake. I hope it would be an intimate event where friends and relatives can grief, yet at the same time, celebrate how I have lived a fruitful life.
Talking about all this stuff, is very morbid, But I think it allowed Hubby and I to have a deeper understanding between the 2 of us.
Of course, I hope that it will be our future, ADULT children taking care of my funeral in many, many, many years to come. And by then, it will be a full celebration of my life, and instead of grief, everyone who attended the wake should be happy of how rich my life had been, and I would have died as a gutsy, happy, old lady who had experience the full cycle of life and had no regrets about it.
As quoted from the book, “Tuesdays with Morris” -> “when you learn how to die, you will learn how to live”
Hubby’s colleague’s wife passed away very suddenly 2 nights ago.
She was up and well, with no inherent or chronic illness. She was only 33 years old, was doing every day’s ordinary stuff, such as watching Korean drama at home, when suddenly, she fainted and had a seizure. Apparently from a stroke.
When I first heard about the incident, I remembered that I told Hubby that she could very well, make a full recovery since she was still so young, at only 33 years old. So, we were discussing how damaging stress can be, and how determination and positive outlook can aid to a full recovery for a stroke patient.
Then a day later, I heard that this lady had passed away.
It took me really by surprise. I mean, how often do you hear a young adult suffer a stroke? Let alone die from it?
Hubby described how everyone really took it very badly at the wake, especially his colleague (ie: the lady’s husband), and it was really heart-breaking.
Upon hearing that, I couldn’t help but to tear and felt really very sad that such a promising life was lost. I would most probably go mad with grief if anything similar were to happen to me.
Then Hubby and I had a very morbid discussion about how we would like our funerals to be, and how the other surviving spouse must be brave and live life to the fullest.
We have promised to each other that, the surviving spouse must be brave and find love once again. If there were children, the children will be reminded of how much the deceased parent must have loved them, but mustn’t stop them from accepting another new parent’s love. The surviving spouse should not let grief and sadness overwhelm, but must find the strength to lead a purposeful life. Nonetheless, a yearly tribute to the deceased spouse on the anniversary would be nice.
I told Hubby that I’ll only want very close friends and relatives to attend my funeral. Hopefully it will not be held at a void deck or the Singapore Casket, but a place like a park, surrounded by pretty flowers and plants, but still very serene and peaceful. No religious rites would be required.
I hope my friends would share about what they would most miss about me and how I had made an impact to their life or outlook. If my death were very sudden, I’ll rather that Hubby took a few weeks to compose himself and then held the wake later, instead of being too emotionally unstable to conduct the wake. I hope it would be an intimate event where friends and relatives can grief, yet at the same time, celebrate how I have lived a fruitful life.
Talking about all this stuff, is very morbid, But I think it allowed Hubby and I to have a deeper understanding between the 2 of us.
Of course, I hope that it will be our future, ADULT children taking care of my funeral in many, many, many years to come. And by then, it will be a full celebration of my life, and instead of grief, everyone who attended the wake should be happy of how rich my life had been, and I would have died as a gutsy, happy, old lady who had experience the full cycle of life and had no regrets about it.
As quoted from the book, “Tuesdays with Morris” -> “when you learn how to die, you will learn how to live”
Friday, January 15, 2010
Fitness and health
I did not care much about health when I was a kid. I was a skinny kid to start with, I ate all kinds of shit and I was still underweight. So much so that, I actually received FREE milk everyday from my primary school, under the “Nutrition Diet” scheme. Yeah, the teachers assumed that my family was too poor to feed me. Well, I wasn’t complaining, I LOVE the chocolate milk… the banana flavor was gross though.
Then as a teenager, I just made sure that I wasn’t fat. That was rather easy. From a skinny kid, I grew up to be a skinny teenager. Nothing was really wrong with me, except that I had scoliosis -> a crooked spine. However, my curvature was considered mild up to the point when I was 16. I wasn’t physically active though, and I didn’t participate in many sports. My ECA at that time was Chinese Orchestra… the only exercise I had was using my fingers to strum the Zhong-Luan (a kind of Chinese guitar). I guess I can say that I had really fit fingers, and that’s about it.
JC days, I decided that enough was enough, and I wanted a piece of action, sun, and a more.. ahem, “full” body. (yah, I didn’t have much of a boob when I was 16) I took up soft ball as my curriculum, and with trainings up to 3 times a day, I was much fitter, I could run faster, I grew taller, I had a slight tan (I belong to the vampire tribe, I simply can’t get a nice, honey tan), and suddenly, I grew boobs! (Yay!) However, it was also during this period that my spine’s curvature had gotten worse. From a mild curvature, it became “moderate”. Thankfully, it wasn’t serious enough to go under the knife, but the doc warned that I ought to keep a look-out for my back.
University days – my metabolism rate was still healthy, I could eat suppers, snacks, junk food, pigged out and stayed slim. I didn’t have much of a problem with my weight. I continued to play sports, ran/jogged occasionally and I danced (mambo… if that’s counted) on a weekly basis. So, I guess my fitness level wasn’t too bad.
The twenties (working, young adult stage) – as I was based in the US for almost 2 years, it was during that period that I learnt a new word, “chubby”. I wasn’t fat –fat, especially if you compared me with the Americans, but the huge food portions and the false security blanket of being surrounded by people who were bigger than me, caused me a rather significant weight gain. I wasn’t aware of my “state” until I was back in Singapore, and with then-boyfriend-now-husband constant nagging about my “chubby” size.
Since then on, it has been a struggle to stay in shape. I have to work out like mad to look normal. It doesn’t help that I am quite a foodie and have an alcoholic husband who drinks every night. Now that I am in my early 30s, I can feel a significant slow down in my metabolism rate, just breathing air seems to make me put on weight.
So for the past year, I have been reading up on health issues and weight maintenance self-help books. Sigh… yep, I’ve never thought that I’ll also have to resort to self-help books. However, I have discovered valuable information that help me eat better, exercise more efficiently, and basically have a higher energy level!
I am still learning and still in the quest towards a fitter and leaner body. This will be a life-long process… I wouldn’t exactly say that I enjoy keeping fit and I am still immensely jealous of friends who are naturally slim. Nonetheless, I really do enjoy the process of learning more about my body and keeping it in optimal shape.
Nothing is more precious than a healthy body and mind…. And yet, so many people take it for granted. I hope for those who are reading this post, will take a moment to appreciate your healthy, well functioning organs and limbs, and not take them for granted!
I did not care much about health when I was a kid. I was a skinny kid to start with, I ate all kinds of shit and I was still underweight. So much so that, I actually received FREE milk everyday from my primary school, under the “Nutrition Diet” scheme. Yeah, the teachers assumed that my family was too poor to feed me. Well, I wasn’t complaining, I LOVE the chocolate milk… the banana flavor was gross though.
Then as a teenager, I just made sure that I wasn’t fat. That was rather easy. From a skinny kid, I grew up to be a skinny teenager. Nothing was really wrong with me, except that I had scoliosis -> a crooked spine. However, my curvature was considered mild up to the point when I was 16. I wasn’t physically active though, and I didn’t participate in many sports. My ECA at that time was Chinese Orchestra… the only exercise I had was using my fingers to strum the Zhong-Luan (a kind of Chinese guitar). I guess I can say that I had really fit fingers, and that’s about it.
JC days, I decided that enough was enough, and I wanted a piece of action, sun, and a more.. ahem, “full” body. (yah, I didn’t have much of a boob when I was 16) I took up soft ball as my curriculum, and with trainings up to 3 times a day, I was much fitter, I could run faster, I grew taller, I had a slight tan (I belong to the vampire tribe, I simply can’t get a nice, honey tan), and suddenly, I grew boobs! (Yay!) However, it was also during this period that my spine’s curvature had gotten worse. From a mild curvature, it became “moderate”. Thankfully, it wasn’t serious enough to go under the knife, but the doc warned that I ought to keep a look-out for my back.
University days – my metabolism rate was still healthy, I could eat suppers, snacks, junk food, pigged out and stayed slim. I didn’t have much of a problem with my weight. I continued to play sports, ran/jogged occasionally and I danced (mambo… if that’s counted) on a weekly basis. So, I guess my fitness level wasn’t too bad.
The twenties (working, young adult stage) – as I was based in the US for almost 2 years, it was during that period that I learnt a new word, “chubby”. I wasn’t fat –fat, especially if you compared me with the Americans, but the huge food portions and the false security blanket of being surrounded by people who were bigger than me, caused me a rather significant weight gain. I wasn’t aware of my “state” until I was back in Singapore, and with then-boyfriend-now-husband constant nagging about my “chubby” size.
Since then on, it has been a struggle to stay in shape. I have to work out like mad to look normal. It doesn’t help that I am quite a foodie and have an alcoholic husband who drinks every night. Now that I am in my early 30s, I can feel a significant slow down in my metabolism rate, just breathing air seems to make me put on weight.
So for the past year, I have been reading up on health issues and weight maintenance self-help books. Sigh… yep, I’ve never thought that I’ll also have to resort to self-help books. However, I have discovered valuable information that help me eat better, exercise more efficiently, and basically have a higher energy level!
I am still learning and still in the quest towards a fitter and leaner body. This will be a life-long process… I wouldn’t exactly say that I enjoy keeping fit and I am still immensely jealous of friends who are naturally slim. Nonetheless, I really do enjoy the process of learning more about my body and keeping it in optimal shape.
Nothing is more precious than a healthy body and mind…. And yet, so many people take it for granted. I hope for those who are reading this post, will take a moment to appreciate your healthy, well functioning organs and limbs, and not take them for granted!
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Project Habitat: Update 2
Finally gotta see the Designer yesterday for a final discussion on the layout, with colored print-outs of the new design.
I must say that I’m really impressed. It actually turns out much better than I thought. Very cool… in fact, I’m beginning to wonder whether the new place will be “too cool”.
Although I do like my place to be gorgeous and to-die-for, I know that it’s not really practical to LIVE in a showflat. Unless I have 2 maids to clean the place and basically clear my mess 24/7.
Secondly, I kinda feel sorry for my unborn children already. Because both of them will have to squeeze in ONE bedroom, while mummy and daddy will have a 8-panel closet with an island to keep (or should I say “display”) daddy’s cuff links and Hermes belts. On one hand, I will like to have 3 bedrooms, each child to have his/her room but on the other hand, I’ll like to have a kick-ass master bedroom.
Argh…. I guess I just have to pick my favorite child to stay in the 1 spare bedroom, and the other will just have to make do with the Store Room instead.
Poor kid.
Finally gotta see the Designer yesterday for a final discussion on the layout, with colored print-outs of the new design.
I must say that I’m really impressed. It actually turns out much better than I thought. Very cool… in fact, I’m beginning to wonder whether the new place will be “too cool”.
Although I do like my place to be gorgeous and to-die-for, I know that it’s not really practical to LIVE in a showflat. Unless I have 2 maids to clean the place and basically clear my mess 24/7.
Secondly, I kinda feel sorry for my unborn children already. Because both of them will have to squeeze in ONE bedroom, while mummy and daddy will have a 8-panel closet with an island to keep (or should I say “display”) daddy’s cuff links and Hermes belts. On one hand, I will like to have 3 bedrooms, each child to have his/her room but on the other hand, I’ll like to have a kick-ass master bedroom.
Argh…. I guess I just have to pick my favorite child to stay in the 1 spare bedroom, and the other will just have to make do with the Store Room instead.
Poor kid.
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