Wedding in the family

One of my younger brothers, KB got married recently. Geez... it sure felt weird to see my little brother getting married.

I could still remember how we used to fight over EVERYTHING. And I was the mean older sister who always bullied my 2 younger brothers then. KB is the second kid, and before my youngest brother came along, KB and I were the best of playmates. Despite the fact that I bullied him all the time, he would still tug along his smelly bolster and followed me wherever I went.

I went to the playground, he followed. I went to the coffee shop to buy breakfast, he followed. I went to the neighbour's house to play, he followed. He was the pesty little brother whom I couldn't get rid of!

He even wanted to follow me to kindergarten. I remembered how he would cry whenever I got on the school bus and he was too young to follow me to school.

And now, my little annoying brother will be entering a new chapter in his life. *cue: a little boy carrying his smelly bolster flashed before me*

Nonetheless, I sincerely wish for eternal bliss and happiness to the newly wedded couple and hopefully they will provide a playmate for Beanie soon. ;)

Beanie, being the only niece was supposed to serve tea to the new couple. But she was too young to hold the fragile teacup, so a packet of Peach Tea was served instead. Haha...

Congratulations to KB and PS once again!

Missing in action for the wrong reasons

I've not been updating my blog recently and the reason is really dumb: I got sucked into watching dramas online.

I know... very "auntie" right? I am rather ashamed about my behavior as well.

About 2 weeks ago, I was chasing after a korean drama: "Queen In Hyun's Man", which is also currently showing on Channel U on Sundays 10 - 11.30 pm. This drama only consisted of 16 episodes, so I managed to finish it in about 3 days. Easy Peasy...

Then I told myself that I could not watch another drama and should focus my time on value-adding activities instead, be it work, exercise or play with Beanie.

Unfortunately, I got to know of another Chinese drama, which was supposedly really popular in China. The drama: "Legend of Zhen Huan", a grand total of 76 episodes?!??!!!

Geez. Drama addiction is the WORST.

I became this crazy woman who simply had to watch the drama.

I stopped playing with Beanie, I only worked when I absolutely had to, I slept at 3 am, my husband stopped talking to me because I became this drama-addict who had dark rings under my eyes, messy hair and zombie-like appearance.

All in all, it was the worst addiction ever.

Thankfully it was 76 episodes and not 276 episodes. Or else, my husband would have probably divorced me by the end of the 276th episodes.

No. More. Dramas. For. Me. Ever.

My exercise regime

Let me tell you a secret... I daydream about being a yummy mummy where I can carry Beanie with my toned arms and wear a bikini on a beach, without sucking in my stomach, and enjoy "I-hate-you" stares from fellow mothers.

THAT. HAS. NEVER. HAPPENED.

At least not yet.

Sigh.

Nearly 12 months has past since Beanie popped out and I am still struggling with my self esteem. Technically I am back to my pre-pregancy weight but why is my stomach still soft and saggy? Arms are not toned either and my face still looks kinda..... bloated???

To get back into shape, I have to work so darn hard. An ideal regime will be:

- jog at least 3 times a week
- weight trainings twice a week
- Pilates or yoga twice a week

As for diet, a low-carb high protein diet with lots of green usually works for me. But I am still breastfeeding Beanie and a low carb diet will affect my milk supply. Thus, I do need to eat my rice.

Argh.  To be a yummy mummy sucks.

How to loose a jelly belly?

They say a woman takes 10 months to make a baby in her tummy and so she should also take 10 months to loose her tummy fats. Ok, Beanie is 10 months already but I STILL HAVE THESE TUMMY FATS.

My face, arms, legs, ears, toes... have looked more or less how they looked like before I got pregnant, but not my tummy. My tummy seems to have a life and will on its own (even post pregnancy!). No matter how much I wrapped it up with a torturous, suffocating, corset-like equipment, or applied the most expensive extra-extra-extra-lifting-and-tightening cream religiously everyday or even my daily yoga and core strengthening exercises did not manage to regain the taut, firm stomach that I once had. I'm not asking for abs, I'm not seeking for the impossible... I just want my old belly back. *sob*

Although I do have to admit that I simply do not have the time nor chance to return to my previous exercise regime where I gym at least 3 times a week and run outdoor at least twice a week. This jelly belly of mine is making me depressed, and I think it makes the Hub depressed too.

So either I learn to suck in my stomach 24/7 for the rest of my life or I jolly well have to get my act together and start a sustainable exercise regime where I can tone this very stubborn-yet-jelly belly of mine.

Ok... got to start exercising soon!

3rd wedding anniversary

After all these years, Hub still surprised me with a bunch of flowers on our anniversary. He has gotten the florist to send the flowers to the restaurant. So imagine my surprise when I saw the roses on the table that we were supposed to dine.

The flowers really caught me by surprise and I was really touched. I have known Hub for 17 years (scary right?!) and been together as a couple for 11 years. He isn't exactly the romantic sort and we have gotten so used to each other that, sometimes we kinda take each other for granted.

However, this bunch of roses jolted me awake and I reminded myself that we gotta make an effort to keep the romance alive...

Thanks Hub, Happy Anniversary and I feel very loved!

Best gift to Beanie as parents: A strong and loving marriage

I was clearing some old files in my computer when I came across the folder that contained all my wedding pictures, feeling rather nostalgic, I opened it up and began to look through the photos.

Then it hit me that ever since Beanie was born, Hub and I haven't spent any quality time together. It doesn't help that he is still based in HK and only flies back home every 2 to 3 weeks for the weekends, and whenever he is back, he will be busy running errands such as buying groceries or baby items for Beanie.

And now that Beanie is taking so much of my time, we don't even have time to call each other. On good days, we're lucky if we can Facetime for 10 mins.

To make matters worse, Hub has just been rotated to another department, which bankers work, on average 70-100 hours A WEEK, inclusive of weekends.

Me, being rather overwhelmed as a new mother, hasn't been the best of mood either. So, we ended up snapping at each most of the time IF we happen to Facetime. So much so that, I don't even feel like talking nowadays... ... ...

Looking at these wedding pictures again reminded myself that we, as a couple must put in effort to keep the romance and love alive in our marriage, but with the baby, work commitments and stress, housework ... etc, it is just so darn difficult.

Hopefully things will get better when Hub is back for good. Another 3-4 mths to go... ...

My plans after maternity leave... ...

4 months of entitled maternity leave and I'm now left with 3 months or so... Time flies when you have a baby! Hrm... except when the baby is screaming away at 3 am, then every 5 mins seem like 5 hours...

Anyway, many have asked what's my plan after the 4 months of leave and my answer is: I'll look after Beanie at home until she is 12 - 14 months old, then I'll return to the work force and Beanie will then go to Infant care.

So, I'll be a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom) for a year or so. On one hand, I feel very blessed and lucky to have Hub's support, yet on the other hand, the thought of losing my financial independence kinda scares me a bit... ...

I do have some plans to set up a blogshop to generate some income but I wonder how realistic is that for me to take care of a baby (without a maid) AND run a small blog shop. Hub has suggested that we should just hire a domestic helper to do household chores while I can concentrate on Beanie and hopefully, a blogshop.

But I really do NOT like the idea of having a stranger in the house, plus the fact that we do not have a spare room for a maid anyway. That means that the maid will have to sleep with Beanie in the nursery, which I am fine with since Beanie is still so young. Although I do prefer Beanie to have her own room... ...

Or am I just being stubborn and stupid and too hard on my myself?

The Tiger Daddy vs The Koala Mommy

So, many fellow bloggers, journalists and friends have made many comments about Amy Chua, the Tiger Mother and her parenting style.

I personally will not make any comments on her style since she is the mother of her children and she can do whatever she wants with them. Her methods might deem as extreme but I believe that it stems from the fact that she loves her children very much and wants the best for them.

I, myself is not a Tiger mommy. In fact, if there’s any animal to describe my parenting style, it will most probably be a Koala Bear. Yup, a tree hugger, take-it-easy, extremely laid-back to the point of almost lazy, Koala Bear.

I’ll most probably focus on teaching my kid(s) how to look as cute as possible like a koala, so that everyone else will be at their beck and call. This is an extremely important life skill that many parents have neglected. I’ll also bring them to parks and beaches to appreciate plants and open spaces, will also teach them how to climb trees since I, myself was a tree climbing expert in Primary School. We’ll just spend a lot of time hugging and cuddling each other, making each other laugh. We’ll learn music, dance, poetry, art & crafts because it will be fun. We’ll also do sports like tennis, golf, cycling, karting, wrestling or sailing because they are fun, fun fun.

I’ll urge and encourage them to put in their best effort in everything that they do, and hopefully they will want to excel because they take pride in themselves instead of using threats and canes. But of course, Koala Mommy will need to discipline the little koalas if they are naughty or misbehaved. Have u seen how a real Koala Mommy discipline her cubs? She will grunt and bellow like a cow. Imagine, a cute koala suddenly yelling at you like a cow… scary rite?

As for Hub, he is the classic Tiger Daddy. He’s very competitive, has super high and unrealistic expectations, and expects his cubs to ace every single academic subject and represent Singapore in some International Mathematics and Science competition. He and Amy Chua can be best friends.

End of the day, I just hope that the kids will eventually turn out to be a koala on the outside but a tiger in the inside! Best of both worlds!

Let me introduce... Beanie.

Ok... took me a while to decide whether I should share this early piece of good news since most mothers will only want to declare their "status" after the 1st trimester. But after some serious thoughts, I've decided to come clean and pen down my thoughts anyway.

Yup, this is Beanie and it's about 8 weeks old.

The past few weeks had been rather difficult. I had continuous bleeding and cramps consecutively for a few days and was in the hospital for half a day. Beanie was deem as unstable and I had to bed-rest, receive progesterone injections every 3 days, and currently taking progesterone pills.

Luckily, as of this morning, Beanie's heartbeat is still strong and no more bleeding and cramps. I'm seeing my gynae every week now, and to be frank, I have great fear whenever the doctor checks for the heartbeat... ... ...

Beanie's timing is a bit weird.... hrm, Hubby is now based in Hong Kong and I still have the CFA exam to tackle in June. It's presence came as a surprise, nonetheless, a very treasured one.

I hope Beanie will continue to grow strong and healthy, and I'm looking forward to this wondrous journey of motherhood.

But geez, the morning sickness and the nausea is really bad! My head feels dizzy most of the time and I've lost my appetite to eat. Meals have become a chore and especially so, when I'm eating alone.

Due to the previous bleeding, I'm advised to take things easy and haven't been going to the gym. My energy level is low, and it doesn't help that I'm also down with flu for the past 2 days.

Argh. ;(

In any case, I hope Little Beanie will be strong and healthy, and continue to cling on to me till he or she is ready to face the world!

Do you believe in Long Distance Relationship (LDR)?

When Hub and I were dating, we went through 3.5 years of LDR. He was studying in UK while I was in Singapore and 1.5 yrs later, when he was deemed to come back, I had the opportunity to work in the States for 2 years or so, and thus, another 2 yrs of LDR.

That 3.5 yrs of LDR was one of the hardest thing that I had to go through. There were so many times that I wanted to throw in the towel and said “That’s it, I cant do this anymore”.

But miraculously, we survived the LDR and even more amazing, we survived the relationship when both of us were in the same land area and didn’t drive each other crazy. I must admit that most credit went to Hub since he is the more tolerant and rational one.

After that horrendous 3.5 years, I told myself that I will not go through another LDR again. I told myself that no matter what, I want to be together physically, mentally and emotionally together with my beloved. I’ll give up my career temporarily if I have to.

And now, due to career progression, Hub will be away for a year in a near-by country, which is about 3-4 hours away by plane. And technically, there’s a “spouse allowance” for me to move over as well. Not a “Tai-Tai” kind of allowance, but it is enough for me to survive a prudent lifestyle.

Honestly, I do not even like that country, in my opinion; it is polluted, crowded and extremely materialistic. I’ll rather stay in Singapore; at least Singapore is not polluted, less crowded and also a tad less materialistic. Ha.

But it’s my wishful thinking on my part. I’m not even “invited” to go over; I’ve already been “assigned” by Hub to stay in Singapore to look after the new flat, the plants and the cat.

So, I’m a housekeeper more than a wife huh?

I’m actually a little sad and hurt that Hub finds the new flat, the new plants and the new cat more important than us being together.

I know that it’s not as if he loves me less, just that rationally, it makes more sense for me to remain in Singapore because of my job, my CFA exam, to look after the flat, the plants and the cat. In addition, we’ll only be 3 hrs apart via a plane ride and IT’S ONLY FOR A YEAR.

We have been through so much worse, this should be peanuts.

But to me, it’s not peanuts. Maybe, I just need to grow up.

Will you love me like how Mr. LKY loves his wife?

I am deeply saddened by the recent passing of our Mrs Lee Kuan Yew, aka Madam Kwa Geok Choo. And today’s papers showed a picture of MM Lee, kissing his fingers to bid his very last farewell to his beloved wife…

That picture immediately brought tears to my eyes.

A very rare glimpse of “public display of affection” between MM Lee and his wife and sadly, it would be the very last gesture ever. Many Singaporeans would have already known about the deep love and respect that MM Lee has for his wife, it was no secret that ever since Mrs Lee was bed-ridden, MM Lee would read and talk to her every night before bedtime.

While reading the papers last night, I asked Hub…

“Will you love me like how Mr. LKY loves his wife? Next time, if I were to be old and bed-ridden, will you read poems to me?”

“You read poems???”

“Tsk, that’s not the point. OK, will you read ANYTHING to me at all?”

“Hrmm…. Can I record all the poems or whatever and play it to you via a CD player and you can listen all day? Even better right?”

*rolled my eyes* He just doesn't get it huh???!!!

Keeping the romance alive

Hubby and I have known each other for 15 years, and out of that, we have been together for about 9 yrs... I used the word "about" because I seriously cannot remember when we “officially” started dating. *opps…*

So after being together for so long, we are already very comfortable with each other that… sometimes, we become TOO comfortable and start to take each other for granted. We would get so bogged down with our daily lives that we would just grunt at each other instead of engaging in meaningful conversation.

But there’s one thing that Hubby will ALWAYS do every single day. He will hug me fiercely for like 15 seconds everyday. NO matter how tired I am, no matter how much laundry I have to do, no matter how stressed up I am over my work or studies. I’ll feel very much loved after that.

And during times like that, I’m really grateful that I married him, and I will feel totally 幸福.

But still not enough to iron his clothes.

;P

How Hubby wants his funeral to be…

Since we were talking about the topic previously, here’s the conversation between Hubby and I a few nights ago:

Me (after being all teary and sad after the morbid thought of myself dying young):
“So, what about you, how do you want your funeral to be?”

Hubby:
“Hrm… a wine bar. Hold the wake in a wine bar or some restaurant where people can drink. O yah, FREE corkage.”
“O yah, then open all my wines and let the guests drink. My last present to all my dear friends”

(By the way, Hubby easily has at least 500 bottles of wine. His wine fridge at home is bursting and his wine storage at Extra Space is clearly not getting “extra” anymore. So, friends who attend the wake will most probably die of alcohol poisoning if I were to follow his last wishes)

“Remember to invite all my ex-girlfriends as well. O yah, the waitresses who are serving the wines must also be pretty…”

%$#*@& ??!!??!!??!!??!!

How would you want your funeral to be?

Hubby’s colleague’s wife passed away very suddenly 2 nights ago.

She was up and well, with no inherent or chronic illness. She was only 33 years old, was doing every day’s ordinary stuff, such as watching Korean drama at home, when suddenly, she fainted and had a seizure. Apparently from a stroke.

When I first heard about the incident, I remembered that I told Hubby that she could very well, make a full recovery since she was still so young, at only 33 years old. So, we were discussing how damaging stress can be, and how determination and positive outlook can aid to a full recovery for a stroke patient.

Then a day later, I heard that this lady had passed away.

It took me really by surprise. I mean, how often do you hear a young adult suffer a stroke? Let alone die from it?

Hubby described how everyone really took it very badly at the wake, especially his colleague (ie: the lady’s husband), and it was really heart-breaking.

Upon hearing that, I couldn’t help but to tear and felt really very sad that such a promising life was lost. I would most probably go mad with grief if anything similar were to happen to me.

Then Hubby and I had a very morbid discussion about how we would like our funerals to be, and how the other surviving spouse must be brave and live life to the fullest.

We have promised to each other that, the surviving spouse must be brave and find love once again. If there were children, the children will be reminded of how much the deceased parent must have loved them, but mustn’t stop them from accepting another new parent’s love. The surviving spouse should not let grief and sadness overwhelm, but must find the strength to lead a purposeful life. Nonetheless, a yearly tribute to the deceased spouse on the anniversary would be nice.

I told Hubby that I’ll only want very close friends and relatives to attend my funeral. Hopefully it will not be held at a void deck or the Singapore Casket, but a place like a park, surrounded by pretty flowers and plants, but still very serene and peaceful. No religious rites would be required.

I hope my friends would share about what they would most miss about me and how I had made an impact to their life or outlook. If my death were very sudden, I’ll rather that Hubby took a few weeks to compose himself and then held the wake later, instead of being too emotionally unstable to conduct the wake. I hope it would be an intimate event where friends and relatives can grief, yet at the same time, celebrate how I have lived a fruitful life.

Talking about all this stuff, is very morbid, But I think it allowed Hubby and I to have a deeper understanding between the 2 of us.

Of course, I hope that it will be our future, ADULT children taking care of my funeral in many, many, many years to come. And by then, it will be a full celebration of my life, and instead of grief, everyone who attended the wake should be happy of how rich my life had been, and I would have died as a gutsy, happy, old lady who had experience the full cycle of life and had no regrets about it.

As quoted from the book, “Tuesdays with Morris” -> “when you learn how to die, you will learn how to live”

I feel like a business partner…

Basically there isn’t much change to my life although I got married. Except that my so-called husband is behaving more like a business partner instead of a husband.

We talk about almost nothing but money. Or how to make more money. Whether in 3 years time we can afford to buy a 2nd apartment. Whether we can upgrade ourselves to a District 9 or 10 address before we hit 38? Yup, 38 and not 40. Because “Biz Partner” here is very competitive and want to lead the high life before he is 40.

I am getting tired of this. Not the least say, very, very pressurized. It’s almost like I’m reporting to my boss about our AUM (Asset Under Management) on a monthly basis. I’ve to draft out my next 3 years of “saving-cum-investment plan”, and have to aim to hit my KPI (Key Performance Index) in order to be a good wife. I am NOT joking. We seriously did sit down to talk about all these. The only thing lacking was an official Business Plan.

To look at it positively, it is good financial planning. In the beginning, it was also quite cool to talk about financial terms, or to show off my financial jargon with someone who can actually understand (other than fellow colleagues). But after a while, it isn’t fun anymore. I have to constantly know whether the Hang Seng Index is up or down, or whether there are any new promising stocks to buy. Or “what is the latest market trend.”

I DO NOT FREAKING CARE ABOUT WHAT IS THE FREAKING MARKET TREND AT FREAKING 1130 PM??!!!

Ok there. I got it out of the system.

I admire him for being so driven. But now, it seems almost like an obsession. It’s not like we don’t have enough to eat or spend. In fact, both of us are financially savvy enough to be rather comfortable actually.

Contentment is the key to happiness. I aim to be happy. I don’t need to be rich to be happy. Yes, I belong to the camp of poor people who always tell themselves that money isn’t everything.

I still believe money isn’t everything.

Holloween Costume: Retired Hooter Girls

This really cracks me up. I was laughing non-stop for 5 mins when I saw this. HAHAHAHA.

I love Halloween!

Children vs dogs/cats

I've heard from a few couples of how when a baby comes along, suddenly pets (usually cats and dogs) are seen as threats to the new baby.

“Car fur will cause allergies to the baby”
“What if doggy bites the baby?”
“No time to look after doggie AND the baby”

Soon, it’s a matter of time, these pets are either being given away or being abandoned.

Sigh. And to think that these owners used to call themselves “Daddy and Mummy” of their pets. Some even claim that having a pet if like a “prelude” to having a baby. Yeah right… and you give away your “first born” when the real deal comes along?

I recognize all these issues and to this date, I keep asking myself whether Im ready to have a dog or even a cat, esp when my new place is ready. Or should I just have a baby 1st? Just take my baby as a pet loh?

Just a little update

OK, been kinda busy with the preparation of the wedding, but it has been more or less done. Yay!

Many people told us that we’re really efficient to have settled our wedding plans, venues, bridal studio, photographer… etc within like 2 months after proposal.

Hmmm… yah, I think we are pretty “chop-chop” too. Haha.

So, we have decided to hold our solemnization and luncheon at The Majestic Restaurant at this really chic and charming boutique hotel, The New Majestic Hotel in Chinatown. We’ll going to only invite about 90 pax and it will consist more of relatives and more of my friends.

Later in the night, we will then have an even smaller and cozier dinner at Novus, their private dinning room at The National Museum of Singapore, where we’ll have a wine pairing dinner with only 60 guests. NO parents, NO relatives. Just good food, good wines and great friends. More of Beloved’s bunch of alcoholic friends…

*beam*

Looking really forward to that. I just wana eat and drink and be merry with my friends. No dry ice during March-in, or change of 2nd gown or anything like that. Food and Wine is the focus here!

On a separate note, Beloved and I went to Valentino’s for dinner on Sunday. Wow… the food was really absolutely fantastic! This place is tucked in a little corner in Bukit Timah, very rustic but.. woah, very crowded for a Sunday night.

We were seated at about 830 pm and people were still streaming in for the 2nd or 3rd seating all the way till about 9 plus!

Highly recommended and reservation is strictly recommended. Make that at least 2 days in advance!

And I said Yes... ... ... ... ...

It was one of the most romantic moments ever and I was deeply touched. The cake was so beautiful (and yummy!) and the ring is utterly breathtaking.

Every part of the cake was edible. The blue "cardboard" boxes are made of white chocolate, the "white form" that the ring was held was a sponge cake. Well, except for the ring, of course.

I feel happy. *grin* ;p

Last night, I hosted a Retro Party at Wine Company@Evans Road to celebrate my belated 28th birthday! I was sooooo impressed with the decoration that Beloved prepared since previously I told him that we would just “tie some balloons” and that’s it.

But Beloved actually went through the trouble to rent some really cool, retro items, such as a red retro telephone, ice-water glasses, table cloth, hot water flask… etc. In addition to some of his personal collections of retro toys and comic books, as well as a REALLY ancient type writer that was contributed by E!

Also must give credit to my crazy friends who really took the effort (& $$$!!) to dress up to the theme! I had so much fun laughing at everyone’s costume and creativity! Geez… it was just so much fun dressing up and looking like our mums and dads in their younger days!

I have always wanted to host a retro party for the longest, longest time and I am really happy with the way it turned out last night.

Another event that really took me by surprise was Beloved’s proposal. I’ve always thought that he would do it in private between the two of us… in a romantic setting or something like that. But surprise, surprise! He actually hid the ring in the birthday cake! And all of my crazy friends were in cahoots with him!

Although I did have my suspicion when I saw that the cake was in the shape of 3 stacks of Tiffany’s light blue gift boxes. Nonetheless, I was really surprised and was really, really touched by Beloved’s creativity and effort that he had put in. (Yeah.. I cried. So cliché right. But can’t help it lah.. very touched leh)

Above were some pictures taken last night. More will come! I’m still very overwhelmed by the whole thingy…

I feel loved and blessed.