Losing No. 2

This will be a sad post, I'm afraid.

I was supposed to be 8 weeks pregnant when I started to spot brown. However, since I also had some forms of spotting and bleeding when I was carrying Beanie, I wasn't too worried about the spotting for this second pregnancy.

Unfortunately, after 3 days of light spotting, the bleeding started to get heavier and I noticed red blood bleeding and that was when I called my Gynae to book an emergency consultation. During the ultrasound, it seemed that the embryo had stopped developing since it was 5-6 weeks. In fact, we could see the amniotic sac but no fetus or heartbeat. It was a case of Blighted Ovum.

The doctor wanted to play safe and scheduled another scan in a week's time to ensure that there was indeed no development of the embryo, but he cautioned that my body might expelled the failed embryo naturally and I might suffer from a natural miscarriage. As long as I am not in severe pain or bleeding excessively, I should just let nature takes in course.

And true enough, I miscarried naturally later on the very same day, later in the evening.

The cramps and the backache started, it was as if I was going through a mini-labour. It was very similar to the same discomfort that I went through during the early stages of labour when I had Beanie. The bleeding intensified with many clots and then, suddenly I felt something passed out of me.

It was a small placenta, almost the size of a small kiwi fruit and the attached  amniotic sac, which looked like a deflated white balloon. Inside the sac, there was a very small, almost worm-like looking creature. I believe that the little worm was my little No. 2. My first instinct was to flush it away, and I did. But now on hindsight, I should have kept it in a box and buried it under my Frangipani Tree. It would have help me to move on.... and now, I have the guilt that I actually flushed my No.2 down the toilet chute!

Sigh. I know that miscarriages are very common and I have quite a few friends who went through at least 1 failed pregnancy but continued to have 2 or 3 perfectly healthy children anyway.

But it was still very sad for me to know that the little worm could have grown to be Beanie's little brother or sister. Yet, at the same time, I am also very thankful that my first-born, Beanie is now a healthy almost-2-year-old girl and this miscarriage makes me appreciate my Little Beanie so much more.

No woman will ever forget a miscarriage, every miscarriage was like a child lost.

Mommy will always remember you, my little no. 2.

How we survive without a car

Today's Straits Times had an article about how some families make do without a car. Some of these families have 2 young children and yet, are able to do without a car even if they can afford one.

We do not have a car too, although Hub used to drive his family car before he went to London for his studies; and I used to drive my mom's car when I first started working. Yes, many many many years ago.

And both of us decided that owning a car in Singapore simply does not make sense. Especially if our offices are in the CBD area where the monthly ERP and season parking charges can pay for a short getaway for 2 adults every month.

Now that we have Beanie, we still do not own a car and do not foresee a need to get one. At least not for the near future.

So, I'm here to share some tips on how we survive without a car.

Tip 1: Join a Car-share program. There are quite a few of them in the market and most them charge reasonable prices on an hourly basis. We use Car Club and as long as we plan our weekends in advance, we can just book the car for a day and whizz around. The advantages of car-shares: petrol is included in the hourly charges (ie: topping up of petrol is "free"), no maintenance, no road tax, no car insurance. Heck... you do not even need to wash or clean the car!

Tip 2:  Book a cab via the App or SMS. You can  easily book a cab via an App or SMS. No more being put on hold while calling for a cab. In fact, you can even track the location of your booked taxi via the App.
Some people reckon that during peak hours, there will be difficulty in getting a taxi. Yes, that's true and that's part and parcel of life. So, do a little planning to avoid peak hours.

Tip 3: Stay close to your parents, parents-in-law. When we were looking for an apartment, we ensured that the intended apartment, be it HDB or condo had to be near-by to our parents. We foresee that we would need a lot of family support when our kids come along. So although as a young couple, we dreamed about staying at Robertson Quay, Tiong Bahru or Tanjong Rhu, we eventually decided to be practical and chose a multi-generation HDB flat in Bishan instead. So now, my parents-in-law are just walking distance away and it is very convenient for them to come over to take care of Beanie when I need to be away.

Tip 4: MRT and public buses aren't so bad during off-peak hours. Ok, I work flexi-hours, so I can schedule to bring Beanie out during non-peak hours. And Beanie loves taking the MRT and buses, in fact, she is so much more cooperative and well-behaved whenever she takes public transport. She will usually make faces at fellow commuters (at times, they are the ones making faces at her!)and there are just so much for her to see and observe!

In all honesty, I think being a semi-work-from-home-mom gives us some leeway for not owning a car. But the main motivation is the amount of money that we can save. Especially now that we are on a single income.

So, it is possible to survive without a car, even with young children in tow. ;)

A piece of sad news

Just gotta know about a piece of sad news. Someone I know, had passed away.

He committed suicide, leaving his beautiful wife and 3 young children.

Not that we are close friends, in fact, we had only met once when I went to France about 3 years ago. He and his pretty wife hosted us, we hanged out, we visited vineyards; we had dinners and lunches. They were great hosts and I had loads of fun.

The lovely couple brought their eldest son along on one of the outings, I remembered he was about 7 years old. Very cute and because the couple was half french and half Japanese, the little boy was so handsome!

Why would a man choose to end his life? Was he depressed? Was there absolutely no hope for him to hang on to? Was there no love or support from his family?

What could have happen within 3 years to drive a man to take his own life? He was at the prime of his life, only in his 30s. He was good-looking, he had a pretty wife, 3 beautiful kids, a thriving business. What had gone wrong?

Sigh.

This piece of news left me in a pensive mood for the whole day.

Death on its own, is not scary. It is the void and emptiness that the living has to endure, is scary.

I pray for peace and closure for his family. I sincerely hope for the best for the little ones.

Beanie meets Singa

Remember Singa? The Courtesy Lion? He was such an icon during my era. He was EVERYWHERE when I was a kid in primary school. I remembered that there was a little song about Singa, the lion where the lyrics went something like "it is so nicccccce to be courteous... .... lah lah lah" In fact, it was deem as "cool" to be nice and courteous so that we could all be like Singa!

And then for some reason, Singa disappeared.

Where did Singa go?

Apparently he has been residing at the building of Ministry of Communications and Information (you know, the one with many colorful windows opposite clarke quay.) In fact, Singa has been very busy because Beanie and I found out that Singa is now a proud father of 5 little singas! Very productive, if only every Singaporean follows Singa's footsteps and we will not have a problem with our ever-declining TFR and the hotly debated 6.9 million figure in our recent white paper.

I don't know about you, but I think it's time that Singa steps out of his super-early retirement and gets back to work. Singaporeans have been rather angsty lately due to the over-crowding in our MRTs and buses, that's assuming that the MRTs and buses are running punctually and without any glitches. All these jostling and pushing are not helping anyone. We can really do with some courtesy and niceness...

WE NEED YOU, SINGA! *wail*

Ok, enough of the drama.

Back to our little excursion with Beanie and the little Singas. So, we chanced upon Singa and his brood and as you can see, Beanie was really excited. She checked out all the little Singas and made friends with them. The little Singas seemed excited too because we were the ONLY people in "Singa, the Courtesy Lion" exhibit.

I was very excited too. It was like I bumped into a childhood friend and had so much to catch up! You know, chatting about our kids and how Singapore was like in the 1980s (so different from today!) and why is Singa a stay-at-home-dad now? Why isn't Singa making his rounds in primary schools like he used to?

Singa lamented that courtesy is not in vogue anymore. Schools are too concerned with PSLE and rankings to bother about courtesy and niceness. But I told him a piece of good news that primary schools are re-introducing "Good Citizens", so there is a fighting chance that Singa will have his job back!

Haha... it was really nice to catch up with Singa. I really do hope more people will check out his exhibit!

And I cried buckets at Les Miserables

Can any girl watch Les Miserables without shedding a tear?

She must be one very tough lady.

When I watched Les Mis recently at the movies, I was pretty sure that all females left the theatre with wet tissues in their hands. As for me, I was a total disgrace, I basically started bawling my eyes out at the moment Fantine sang I Dreamed A Dream until to the end of the movie.

And the movie was my third time watching Les Mis.

Les Miserables was my very first musical in my life. I remembered I was in secondary 3 when I watched the Australian cast at Kallang Theater. It was a school trip and I caught it with my classmates on a matinee. All of us were so excited and even though our seats were so very far away from the stage, we were totally spellbound by the moving storyline, the wonderful score and the fantastic stage setup . Les Mis had set the bar high. To date, it has remained to be my all time favorite musical at all time.

I remembered that I did not fully understand the storyline and at times, I was confused with the various characters. Well... some of them did look the same when I was like 5 km away from the stage. And it didn't help that there wasn't any subtitles, so half the time, I didn't understand what the performers were singing about.

Nonetheless, I still cried buckets when everyone died in the end. Well... almost everyone except for lucky Corsette and Marius.

At 15 years old, I told myself that I MUST watch Les Miserables again and I would pay for the best seats that I could afford.

And I did.

I watched Les Mis again in 2001 when I visited Hub in London. And this time round, I paid a grand total of 50 pounds (which was a lot of money as I was still a poor student and the exchange rate was S$3 to a Pound) for a matinee show. But I had a really good seat, I was seated on the 5th row from the stage and I could see the expressions of the actors/actresses, I could feel the live music in my ears and felt as if I was acting in the musical!

And for the second time, I cried buckets while watching the show. The funniest thing was that I watched the musical alone and there was this another young lady (most likely a tourist) who also came alone. So the both of us were sharing tissues, snorting loudly and basically bawling our eyes out. It was as if we knew Fantine or Eponie personally or something. When the curtain finally closed and after all the encores, my "crying partner" turned to me and gave me a little hug. "What a musical!" she said. And all I could do was to nod my head.

And so, at the recent movie, my third time watching Les Mis, I was still very moved by the sad story and songs. The singings could be better but most of the casts were Hollywood actors and actresses, and for that, it was very good effort already.

Ahh... if I had the chance, I would definitely catch Les Miserables Live once again!

Missing in action for the wrong reasons

I've not been updating my blog recently and the reason is really dumb: I got sucked into watching dramas online.

I know... very "auntie" right? I am rather ashamed about my behavior as well.

About 2 weeks ago, I was chasing after a korean drama: "Queen In Hyun's Man", which is also currently showing on Channel U on Sundays 10 - 11.30 pm. This drama only consisted of 16 episodes, so I managed to finish it in about 3 days. Easy Peasy...

Then I told myself that I could not watch another drama and should focus my time on value-adding activities instead, be it work, exercise or play with Beanie.

Unfortunately, I got to know of another Chinese drama, which was supposedly really popular in China. The drama: "Legend of Zhen Huan", a grand total of 76 episodes?!??!!!

Geez. Drama addiction is the WORST.

I became this crazy woman who simply had to watch the drama.

I stopped playing with Beanie, I only worked when I absolutely had to, I slept at 3 am, my husband stopped talking to me because I became this drama-addict who had dark rings under my eyes, messy hair and zombie-like appearance.

All in all, it was the worst addiction ever.

Thankfully it was 76 episodes and not 276 episodes. Or else, my husband would have probably divorced me by the end of the 276th episodes.

No. More. Dramas. For. Me. Ever.

False Alarm

Last 10 days have been rather stressful because of a possibility that Beanie might have a little sister or brother next year!

Thankfully, it was a false alarm. *BIG SIGH OF RELIEF*

Don't be mistaken, I do want Beanie to have a younger sibling, but I'm thinking of planning for one when she is at least 18 months old. Just not right now.

Phew... now I can go ahead and plan for a familiy holiday in Dec or early Jan next year. I'm thinking of Penang (especially after reading Petunia's trip). I have never been to Penang and I'm dying to eat the REAL Penang Char Kway Tiao, Laksa, Prawn Mee... etc.

Just the thought makes me very hungry already.

But what about Beanie?

On one hand, I think it's time for Hubba and I to have some romantic, couple time. And nothing bonds us more than good, cheap, solid street food. On the other hand, it will be fun for Beanie to experience Penang's laidback charm and I think she will enjoy the street food too!

Argh. Decisions, decisions, decisions.

To travel or not to travel. To lug Beane along or not to lug Beanie along?

Any suggestions?

My 2 cents on Early Childhood Education

When I was a kid, I went to a kick-ass kindergarten where I spent most of the time playing. The school had a huge playground and a little pool for water-play. I remembered running and playing “catching” with my little friends, climbing the monkey bars, eating grass and later discovered that grass tasted rather bitter. We would have 20-30 minutes of free play at the playground every day and 5 children would be chosen each day to play at the pool.

Oh, the joy of being chosen to play at the pool was beyond words. We would actively participate in our classes to earn points so that we could play at the pool. The teachers were very encouraging and always prompted us to be good children and gave us stars to boost our “scores”.

When it was time for the water-play, we would put on our raincoat and little boots. We would eagerly take the basket of toys and trotted happily to the little pool while the other children looked at us in envy. The girls would usually pretend to be their mummies while bathing the little dolls. The boys would have little boats and pretended that they were the explorers of the world, a-la mini Christopher Columbus. The teachers will just keep an eye on us to ensure our safety and other than that, they did not interfere and the children had 20-30 minutes of uninterrupted free play.

I did not remember there was any homework nor did we spend much time doing worksheets. Instead, we had many hours of art and craft work, and I remembered there were days where we had to prepare our own snacks by making sandwiches and other days we had to clean the toilets. School was really fun and I looked forward to going to school everyday!

How many pre-school curretly are like my Kindergarten, I wonder? Can I still find such a pre-school without paying through my nose?

Beanie is only 1 year old, so I am still taking things easy. Whenever I am at home and as long as weather permits, I will bring her to the playgrounds near my flat or a quick swim at the public pool. Children needs sunshine to grow and it upsets me to see young children coop at in an air-conditioned room, doing worksheets instead of sliding down the slides, spinning themselves silly on the grass and playing catching with their friends.

I have friends who are sending their barely 20 months-old kids to enrichment classes to learn ABC. Seriously? You mean, as a parent, you cannot teach your 20 month old how to read the ABCs at home? Or some Shichida class where the tearchers flash fashcards at 8 months old babies. *shudder*

All parents want the best for their kids, but at what expense, we need to ask ourselves. Kids can only be kids once... please let them have their childhood.

Honey Chcken vs Sweet & Sour Pork

Sometime last week, I was in a coffee shop, standing in a queue to buy "veggie rice". A very well-dressed old lady, who looked to be in her 70s was in front of me and she spoke in impecable Engilsh to the man behind the stall.

Old Lady pointed to a plate of meat: is that sweet and sour pork?

Man behind the stall in a thick Malaysian accent: no. No "pok" Honey chicken.

Lady: Oh. I want Sweet and sour pork. Can I have sweet & sour pork?

Man: Today no pok. Honey chicken. Bery nice. Bery good to eat. You take ok?

Lady: Ok, I will take the sweet and sour pork. (She pointed at the Honey Chicken)

Man: Aunty! No pok already! HONEY CHICKEN! Aiyoh.... no pok no pok!

Lady: oh. Ok then. Can I have the green vegetables instead? (she pointed at a tub of greens)

Man piled green vegetables onto a plate.

Lady pointed at the Honey Chicken and in a striaght face: I want this Sweet and Sour pork.

Man went nuts and yelled at the lady: AUNTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I SAID NO POK! NO POK!!! HONEY CHICKEN!!!! AIYOH!!!!!! CHICKEN!!!!! 鸡肉!!! 鸡肉!!! 鸡肉!!!





Lady: ok, don't need to shout at me. (looked offended, looked away for 3 seconds, composed herself and pointed at the tub of Honey chicken again) I want this sweet and sour pork.

By this moment, everyone who was in the queue couldnt take it anymore and everyone burst out laughing.

Man at the stall rolled his eyes and simply put some Honey Chicken onto the plate.

Sigh. It was a funny but yet heartbreaking scene. The old lady most probably have dementia. But from her dressing and good command of English. She must have been very well educated. But the disease does not discriminate.

All of us will be old one day... and I wonder will I ever be in the same situation as this old lady...?

How to loose a jelly belly?

They say a woman takes 10 months to make a baby in her tummy and so she should also take 10 months to loose her tummy fats. Ok, Beanie is 10 months already but I STILL HAVE THESE TUMMY FATS.

My face, arms, legs, ears, toes... have looked more or less how they looked like before I got pregnant, but not my tummy. My tummy seems to have a life and will on its own (even post pregnancy!). No matter how much I wrapped it up with a torturous, suffocating, corset-like equipment, or applied the most expensive extra-extra-extra-lifting-and-tightening cream religiously everyday or even my daily yoga and core strengthening exercises did not manage to regain the taut, firm stomach that I once had. I'm not asking for abs, I'm not seeking for the impossible... I just want my old belly back. *sob*

Although I do have to admit that I simply do not have the time nor chance to return to my previous exercise regime where I gym at least 3 times a week and run outdoor at least twice a week. This jelly belly of mine is making me depressed, and I think it makes the Hub depressed too.

So either I learn to suck in my stomach 24/7 for the rest of my life or I jolly well have to get my act together and start a sustainable exercise regime where I can tone this very stubborn-yet-jelly belly of mine.

Ok... got to start exercising soon!

My little Beanie is growing so fast!

This is Beanie when she was a few days old.

This is Beanie at 6 months

I'm sure all parents find their kids growing up too fast and too furious. Just 6 months ago, I pushed and pushed and pushed out a little Beanie. She was all pink and soft and oh, so fragile... now, she is roaring aloud and attempting to chase Cookie around the house already. To Cookie's dismay, of course...

Anyway, a little update about me. I've decided to be a financial advisor (FA) and is currently in the process of applying for my license. We have found a nanny a few blocks away who will be looking after Beanie while I am away at work.

Being a FA allows flexible timing and I am basically my own boss. So hopefully, I can still be Beanie main caregiver and at the same time, make a decent living. The ideal scenario will be to put Beanie with the nanny in the morning while I clock into office for training or to get some work done, then pick her up by 2-3 pm. In events when I need to meet clients in the evening, I will then park Beanie back to the nanny again, or the in-laws might babysit if they are available.

I really do hope that this arrangement will work out. As much as I enjoy being a Stay-at-Home-Mom, I do look forward to be financially independent, to put my degree and CFA to good use, as well as to lessen Hub's stress of being the sole breadwinner.

May the force be with me. Wish me luck!

Thus, I'm not a florist

Beautiful bouquet of flowers given by a friend as a X'mas gift

Flower arrangement No. 1 for CNY, my virgin attempt at flowers arrangement. Hub said this looked like a turtle.

Flower arrangement No. 2.

During X'mas, a friend gave me a bouquet of flowers as a gift and it was a very much appreciated gift. It was very nicely arranged and I thought that my dinning area looked so much more festive and pleasant with some fresh flowers.

So, for this CNY, I took the trouble to hit the nursery at Thomson and bought some freshly cut flowers, 2 short vases, 1 huge sponge and a lot of enthusiasm to do some flowers jamming.

Hub raised his eyebrows and gave me an incredulous look. "You sure you know how to flower-arrange? It's not as easy as it looks ok.... ...."

"Bleah, how difficult can flowers arrangement be? Just stick the flowers into the sponge lah" I snorted.

Hrm... ... 1 1/2 hours later, I came to a conclusion that arranging flowers was indeed NOT one of my competitive strengths. Half the time, I was swearing under my breath while still trying to pretend that I was enjoying the whole flower-jamming process and at the same time, working very hard to ignore Hub's smug "I-told-you-so" look.

Ugh!

Ok, to all the florists out there, you have my respect!

2011 to 2012

I’ve been thinking about the past 1 year and all that it has brought, and before I hurl myself into the new year, It's time to reflect upon the past 1 year, and what a year it had been!

The arrival of my first child has got to be one of the most eventful times in my life. From the first trimester complications, to the almost miscarriage in Hong Kong and the eventual birth. The whole journey was unforgettable. Sometimes, I still cannot believe that I have a pretty little baby girl in my arms and I'm so overwhelmed by the amount of love I have for her. No one tells you how much your perspective of the world changes when you become a Mother. Well, perhaps they do but it’s also something you just cannot imagine until you’re actually there. And once you become a mom, there's no turning back. Now I simply cannot imagine life without my daughter, to watch her grow and being there for her when she needs me.

Previously I have decided to be a stay-at-home-mom for the next 1 year to look after Beanie on my own, but after weighing the pros and cons, my current decision is to find a job that allows flexible work schedule and yet, be closely related to finance. So, I thinking of being a Financial Advisor and I am currently meeting people and going for recruitment talks to consider my options. Hopefully I can start in March or April this year. The plan is to work from home most of the time, and going to office in the mornings when necessary.

So who is going to take care of Beanie while I am at work? A friend's mother who is staying just a few blocks away, have tentatively agreed to be Beanie's babysitter. We have to sort the schedule after the Chinese New Year. Hopefully it will all work out.

And finally, Hubby will be back home for good! Yay Yay Yay! He will be relocating back to Singapore in a week's time, and I am most relieved and glad. Finally the father and daughter can bond on a daily basis. ;)

I'm entering 2012 with a lot of excitement. I'm looking forward to Beanie growing up and witnessing her milestones, from her first crawl, first tooth and her first steps. A new career awaiting for me, which I hope will work out, and more family time with hubby

Financial Planning for Beanie

Little Beanie in the bumbo chair, happily chewing her toys.

Firstly, I think I forgot to mention that I have passed the CFA (Chartered Financial Analyst) Level 3 exam back in June 2011! To think of it, I was almost 7 months pregnant with Beanie and with that stomach, I sat through a grueling 6 hours exam. My whole body was almost cramping with pain after sitting and scribbling non-stop for that 6 hours.

Thankfully, I passed! So technically, upon application and approval from the CFA Institute, I can then rightfully add the title of "CFA" in my name card. With that qualification, I hope to either negotiate for a higher pay or find a better paying job.

Then I quit my job to become a full-time mom. (0_0")

And after reading Ting's blog about the cost of foreign tertiary education for her sons, I started punching my calculator for the amount that I need to squirrel away for my Beanie's education fund. And the amount is no joke if I were to factor in inflation and the higher cost of living in the future.

So, I assume that Beanie can study at a local university and I aim to set aside $100,000, excluding Hub's contribution. Instead of an endowment plan or saving plan, I intend to invest in equities.

I will buy minimum one lot (1000 shares) of a Singapore blue-chip company for Beanie every year, and so long Singapore prospers, that blue chip should clock in decent capital gains, as well as cumulative dividend income in 18 years time.

Since this is Beanie's education fund, I must pick a stock that has very stable recurring profits to pay recurring dividends, and yet at the same time, has the potential for growth and capital gains.

I personally will pick SPH -> Singapore Press Holdings. Why? Because:

1) To invest in SPH is to invest in Singapore, ie: the country's population growth, and the government's commitment to make Singapore a vibrant city. Thus in turn will spur growth in retail, housing, F&B, cultural activities... etc, which will ultimately increase SPH's advertisements , its main source of income. SPH basically has a monopoly control in the mass media industry in Singapore. Even in times of recession, advertisements usually remain relatively stable, so SPH should remain profitable.

2) SPH owns Paragon and the newly completed Clementi Mall. Both malls are situated in excellent locations and enjoy very good traffic. I believe in time to come, SPH will buy or build another 1 or 2 shopping malls and ultimately sells these malls to a REIT (Real Estate Investment Trust) to cash out from its investments and hopefully declare a special dividend to its shareholders!

3) SPH is also a property developer, it's newest completed property: Sky@eleven was sold out. However, as this is a non-core unit, I will not be surprise if SPH eventually carve out its property development unit and list it as a subsidiary.

4) High dividend yield. SPH has been paying about $0.25 per share of dividends for the past few years, which translate to about 5-6% yield. Most endowment or saving plans only pay about 2-4% of annual yield, and without any potential for capital gains.

So, if I were to start investing in 1 lot of SPH per year for the next 18 years, assuming a modest annual gain of 4.5% (inclusive of dividends), my 18 lots should eventually net me $99,364.

And remember that Singapore does not tax capital gains nor dividend income. ;)

Current share price of SPH: $3.66. So, by saving about $300-$400 a month, I will be able to buy a lot of SPH after a year. Of course, as the share price increases, I will have to save more in order to buy 1 lot, however the dividend will help to offset the cost.

So hopefully SPH will eventually fund Beanie's education to Harvard! ;p

A mother's dilemma

Ok... I take it all back. In my earlier post, I asked how do full time working moms bear to leave their babies at homes with maids or at Infantcare. Just into the first day in office, I was already re-considering the Infantcare a few blocks away, and the notion of being away from Beanie for a few hours at a time, is becoming more and more appealing... ... ...

Taking care of Beanie full time is actually much harder than my current job. Now that I'm back in office, I enjoy dressing up in the morning, chit-chatting with fellow colleagues (you can only coo at a baby for so long without feeling stupid) and shopping during lunch.

I am really enjoying my new found freedom, and that's because I have a reliable caregiver at home now. I do not have to worry about Beanie because I know that she is in good hands.

Sigh, as much as I love Beanie. I enjoy working too. Previously, I've always thought that being a SAHM is a privilege. Now I understand why being a SAHM is considered a "sacrifice" instead.

Anyway, I've already tendered and my last day will be on this friday! Woohoo!

A letter to Beanie

I am supposed to write this BEFORE Beanie was born but I got busy with my knitting and crochet projects that I completely forgot about it until 5 mins ago. And since the Confinement Lady is entertaining a naughty Beanie, who refuses to nap, I better grab my chance to quickly post this blog before I have to be the one to entertain a naughty Beanie.

Dear Beanie

I am really excited about your arrival, yet at the same time, very afraid. I'm afraid that I'll be a bad mother, who will be so caught up with the whole kiasu-parent-thingy that you will not have the opportunity to enjoy your childhood, to make mistakes (ok, small mistakes) in order to explore who you are and live your life.

So this letter is for you and also for myself, to remind myself that I gotta remember to be a cool mom and set my priorities right.

First on the list, I do not need you to be a straight As student or a president scholar but to be a person with integrity, to have a kind heart, to be compassionate and contribute meaningfully to the society in whatever ways, however small those may be.

Secondly, be passionate. Believe strongly in something. Be it a notion, a hobby, a cause... ... just something. Dare to do what you believe in. Even if Mommy and Daddy might not approve (as long as it is legal and with integrity). If you need inspiration, read the life story of Steve Jobs.

Third, be curious, learn and question. I hope I can instill in you a curiosity about the world, the hunger to learn and question . Life is meaningless if we do not learn something new everyday.

Fourth, do NOT be afraid to start all over. Life will have its ups and downs but when you are down, you must be strong and resilient, pick yourself up and start over. Mommy and Daddy will support you in whatever means that we can, but in event that we aren't around anymore, you must have the strength to start all over again.

Lastly and most importantly, find a good man, love passionately and have beautiful children.

With lots of love,

Mommy

My letter to LTA, PTC (Public Transport Council) and SBS

After reading today's article on The Straits Times regarding about SBS putting a block to 3rd-party apps, I've decided that Enough. Is. Enough.

I'm a frequent user of SG Buses, this free app that is much more user friendly than Iris. Seriously.... Iris is useless. It takes FOREVER to load, the app doesn't seem to be well maintained at all. Before I downloaded SG Buses, I used to even log into the website of SBS to check on the timings of the buses. That also didnt seem to work because it also takes FOREVER for the website to load.

And now, SBS is blocking these efficient, user-friendly apps. SBS senior VP of Corporate Communications Tammy Tan, referring to these free apps and said (as quoted from the ST), "This could result in wrong information being released to end-users, which is something we will not be able to control. The Introduction of captcha is to prevent unauthorised re-use of propreitary information".

Seriously... your proprietary information is not even useful or user-friendly in the first place. If SBS has already sank in money to develop some useless applications, then admit your mistakes and out source this value-added service to some other more efficient vendor to do the work. Instead, SBS decided to sabotage these vendors which has provided FREE services instead.

I'll really like to remind Miss Tammy Tan that SBS is a PUBLIC TRANSPORT company, it's purpose is to service the public. And the best part, PTC's secretary and quality service manager Eugene Tan said that "regulator typically focus on basic concerns such as fares and bus services, and that bus time apps were a value-added service and did not generally come under its preview".

Well... if SBS's buses are very frequent, then maybe bus schedules are "value-added" services. But when I have to wait 20 mins for a bus, bus schedules and bus time apps aren't "value-added" services, they are part of the "total service" that a public bus company should provide. With today's usage of internet and smart phone applications, it is high time for PTC to include such "value-added" services as BASIC services.

"Dear sir/Mdm

I will like to highlight about the recent shut-down of 3rd-party apps, such as SG Nextbus and SG Buses. I am a frequent user of these 2 applications as they are much more user friendly than Iris, SBS's proprietary app. Iris app is extremely slow to load and even when I use my smartphone to access SBS's website to find out about the arrival timings of the buses, the website is also very slow in processing my request. In conclusion, SBS's proprietary app cannot compete with free downloadable apps, which were previously doing a service to fellow commuters like me.

If that is the case, SBS should outsource this service to more capable and efficient service providers instead. As a paying commuter, why am I being denied of a free and efficient service that has enabled me to commute more conveniently? On today’s Straits Times, 24 May 2011, SBS's Senior VP of corporate Communications Tammy Tan, said that "The introduction of captcha is to prevent unauthorized re-use of proprietary information". However, due to inefficiency of Iris, commuters like me, is unable to use SBS's proprietary information in the first place!

Public transport operators, such as SBS should look at how to enlarge, instead of limit their outreach to commuters. Its focus is to enable commuters to have a smooth and efficient usage of public transport service instead of "safe-guarding" its proprietary information, when such information is meant to benefit the public.

I also suggest that, maybe it’s time that PTC include such “value-added service” into its purview as Bus-time app is indeed a valuable service to frequent bus user like me, where I do not stay next to a MRT station and still rely on buses to commute."

GE 2011

Now that the General Election is over, time for some reflection and analysis.

I stay in Bishan-TPY constituency where SPP was contesting under the leadership of Mr. Chiam. I admire Mr’s Chiam’s dedication and perseverance for the past 27 years in his service to the residents of Potang Pasir, despite the lack of resources. And for that, I have given him, my vote.

Unfortunately, it was not meant to be and it seems to me that he will most probably retire from politics for good. Although he has put up a good fight, his greatest weakness was the lack of proper renewal plan for his party. The new candidates whom Mr. Chiam had recruited joined the party too late and didn’t have the time to work the ground.

SPP’s mandate: “Service before self” comes across as a mandate for a volunteer group. There wasn’t a very clear indication of what SPP really stands for. So, moving forward, If SPP is serious about setting itself as a credible political party, it has to differentiate itself from WP and SDP from a political stand-point.

Most Singaporeans are a practical bunch. At the end of the day, we are concerned about bread-and-butter issues like housing, jobs and cost of living. The grudge against the mass influx of foreign talents only heated up when local infrastructure (ie: public transport and public housing) weren’t ready to accommodate the recent increase and these issues are affecting our lives.

Ideologies such as democracy, fair-play and justice within the political climate simply do not register with a typical Singaporean if he/she has a high paying job, gets her HDB flat on his/her first ballot (without paying through his/her nose) or basically a comfortable life.

WP has recognized the pragmatism of most Singaporeans, and thus more Singaporeans can relate themselves to the party. (Me, for sure). Some other parties campaigned for true blue democracy and other very idealistic notions that I am not interested in.

Without food in your stomach, without a job to pay your bills, without a roof over your head, talking about democracy doesn’t get you anywhere in life.

Most Singaporeans are a well travelled bunch. I don’t about you, but when I visit neighboring countries, I do count my lucky stars that I am a Singaporean. In fact, even when I was having long vacations in developed countries, I still give thanks to the fact that I am born in Singapore, have a decent paying job, to enjoy a relative high quality of life which isn’t that far off from a first-world, developed nation.

I hope the ruling party will truly “reform” and reconnect with its fellow citizens. I am looking forward to how policies will be penned out for the next 5 years. In fact, this year’s National Day Rally will most probably be a very interesting one!

Now that the election is over, let all Singaporeans come together and work towards a better future. For ourselves, for our children, for our beloved country, Singapore.

To some, election is a bother

I have always assumed that ALL Singaporeans will be excited by the notion of casting their sacred votes, until I had a short conversation with a friend, via the MSN. He is actually dismayed with the fact that he has a choice.

Dang?!

I was like “What? U mean you’ll rather not vote?”

“Yah, I’ll prefer a walk over, just like all the previous elections. I don’t want to be bothered with choices. Especially when the opposition party contesting in my constituency, doesn’t seem that credible in the first place.”

Woah. And I thought this election is called the “Awakening Election.” Guess not every Singaporean shares my enthusiasm in our country’s politics.

I cannot help but to be disappointed with my friend. I just hope that he will sit down and think carefully about that vote in his hand. To start with, that vote is not easy to come by.

A bunch of brave, fearless Singaporeans have to step forward, to allow themselves to be scrutinized publicly, to make public speeches to tens of thousands of people, to walk all over the constituency, so that, we, fellow Singaporeans can have a choice. Unlike being “selected” to join the ruling party, these opposition candidates have nothing much to gain. If not for the love of our country and the desire to serve and “make things better”, I really cannot imagine why any sane human beings will want to pick up such a “holy calling” (As previously mentioned by the late Goh Keng Swee)

Once again, I urge all Singaporeans to TREASURE that vote in your hand.

Vote wisely. Vote responsibly.

Vote wisely, Vote responsibly

I am very happy to know that I am entitled to vote for this election 2011, and not only that most of my friends, relatives and many fellow Singaporeans are also given this “privilege” to vote, and for many of them, they will be voting for the very first time! For example, my parents-in-law, who have lived in Singapore all their lives and are in their 50s and 60s are casting their votes for the very first time!

This election is the most exciting and most hotly contested since the 1980s and I am very glad that my vote WILL make a difference in the making of the future of Singapore.

I am not here to indicate my personal political preference but just to share my excitement and anticipation of a hotly contested election. I am grateful to the ruling party, which has enabled Singapore to thrive and advanced from a 3rd world country to a 1st world country within 2 generations. Because I am born in Singapore, I have gotten the chance to be educated, to work overseas for 2 years and travel around the world. Because I am born in Singapore, I see how my standard of living has greatly improved as compared to my grandma and my mother.

But moving forward, how will Singapore be for my Little Beanie Girl, who has yet to be born? What about my future grandchildren, if I am lucky to have any?

For the past years, I have been a volunteer in some organizations and have seen for myself how some Singaporeans of the lower income and less unfortunate group live. Although Singapore’s GDP has been strong for the past 5 years, these groups of people did not benefit from our country’s strong growth.

Is there help for these people? The answer: Yes, but the procedures and process is long and complex, full of red tapes, and most of the time, one has to bulldoze to get things done.

Some brave (but some said foolish) Singaporeans have stepped forward to offer us a choice. I urge all Singaporeans to vote wisely and responsibly. Keeping the past, but most importantly, our future in mind and how we want our country to progress socially, economically and politically in the next generation, and many more generations to come.