I am Super "Maria" or should I say Super "Letticia"?

Now that I am on my own to take care of Beanie both in the day AND night, here's a typical 24 hours for me:

12 am - Mid-night feed for Beanie. She is usually very drowsy around this time, so she will nurse and fall asleep most of the time. No problem here.

3 am - She will wake up and wana nurse but I've noticed that she isn't thaaaaat hungry and most probably just want a comfort suck. After that, she is usually VERY awake and talkative. She will smile and coo at me, and as much as I try my best to ignore her, She will still demand my attention by screaming if I were to ignore her for too long a time. So poor mommy gotta entertain Beanie until she is tired at about 430 am. (0_0)

7 am - Beanie wakes up to nurse again. This time, she will be hungry and will hungrily gulp down her milk and continues to snooze. If I'm not too tired, I will start my day by taking my breakfast, feed Cookie, do the laundry and if I'm lucky, read the papers.

9 am - Beanie wakes up to take her milk again and I'll give her a bath.

10 am - Beanie will be at her cutest by smiling a lot and coos and baby talk to me. For the next 30 mins, it is Motherhood at its best and I am rewarded with a sweet-smelling and happy baby.

11 am - Beanie will take a short nap and I will start preparing my lunch and if I'm lucky, I can have my lunch in peace and take a shower while Beanie continues to nap.

12 pm - Feeding time for Beanie again. After that, I will put her in a baby seat with toys, and on good days, she will spend the next 15-25 mins playing with the toys or happily gnawing at her hands.

1 pm - Beanie will start screaming and wana be carried. On bad days, I will have to carry her and eat my lunch at the same time.

2 pm - Another nap time for Beanie and a nap time for me too. I so need this power nap.

4 pm - Beanie will be awake and on good days, I will take her out for a short walk to take in some fresh air and enjoy some sunshine.

5 pm - Since my mother and mother-in-law are working, my Father-in-law will come over to help out by looking after Beanie so that I can have some "me" time. But it's usually time for me to prepare a simple dinner for myself, keep/fold the laundry, feed Cookie (again) or do some simple housework.

630 pm - Another quick bath for Beanie and a quick feed. Then I will start to put her to bed.

730 pm - Dinner time for me and also another quick shower.

930 pm - Feeding time for Beanie and if she isn't fussy, she will fall asleep and I get to watch some TV, go online or text Hubby. But at times, she is extremely fussy due to a blocked nose or a wet nappy, so I will have to spend the next 30-45 mins pacify her.

1030 am - Beanie should be sleeping by now and it's also time for me to knock out. But before I can go to la-la land, I gotta find Cookie (she is usually hiding in some corner snoozing away) and lock her in the wet kitchen.

12 am - The cycle starts all over again.

Thankfully, my mother, brothers and mother-in-law come over to help whenever they are free so that I can have a break. And I also have a really good and efficient part-time helper who helps me with the heavy housework on every sat.

Being a Stay-at-home-mom (i.e: housewife/maid/babysitter) is not easy!

Some random joys of Motherhood that I've experienced first-hand:

1) Inhaling the sweet "baby smell" that all babies have. Hrm, especially from my own little Beanie girl lah.

2) Getting a million-dollar-grin from Beanie in the middle of the night when I am about to die from exhaustion.

3) When Beanie looks at me in the eye, as if I mean the whole world to her.

4) Having her soft little head resting on my shoulder when I rock her to sleep.

5) Hearing her snore. (which means that I will get to sleep soon, whoopee!)

6) Cutting her small fingernails and marvel at how perfect her little fingers are.

7) Removing an enormous piece of snot from her nose so that she can finally breathe and stop being cranky.

8) Watching her sleep peacefully.

9) Hearing her cute baby coos when I talk to her.

10) Touching her baby soft skin when I give her baby massage.

A letter to Beanie

I am supposed to write this BEFORE Beanie was born but I got busy with my knitting and crochet projects that I completely forgot about it until 5 mins ago. And since the Confinement Lady is entertaining a naughty Beanie, who refuses to nap, I better grab my chance to quickly post this blog before I have to be the one to entertain a naughty Beanie.

Dear Beanie

I am really excited about your arrival, yet at the same time, very afraid. I'm afraid that I'll be a bad mother, who will be so caught up with the whole kiasu-parent-thingy that you will not have the opportunity to enjoy your childhood, to make mistakes (ok, small mistakes) in order to explore who you are and live your life.

So this letter is for you and also for myself, to remind myself that I gotta remember to be a cool mom and set my priorities right.

First on the list, I do not need you to be a straight As student or a president scholar but to be a person with integrity, to have a kind heart, to be compassionate and contribute meaningfully to the society in whatever ways, however small those may be.

Secondly, be passionate. Believe strongly in something. Be it a notion, a hobby, a cause... ... just something. Dare to do what you believe in. Even if Mommy and Daddy might not approve (as long as it is legal and with integrity). If you need inspiration, read the life story of Steve Jobs.

Third, be curious, learn and question. I hope I can instill in you a curiosity about the world, the hunger to learn and question . Life is meaningless if we do not learn something new everyday.

Fourth, do NOT be afraid to start all over. Life will have its ups and downs but when you are down, you must be strong and resilient, pick yourself up and start over. Mommy and Daddy will support you in whatever means that we can, but in event that we aren't around anymore, you must have the strength to start all over again.

Lastly and most importantly, find a good man, love passionately and have beautiful children.

With lots of love,

Mommy

Beanie at 8 weeks

All parents think their kids are the cutest right? I've always told myself to keep my perspective and not be one of those blinded parents who think their daughters are future Miss Universes or sons are future Brad Pitts... ...

But seriously speaking... ... isn't my Beanie a total knock-out? ;P

Best gift to Beanie as parents: A strong and loving marriage

I was clearing some old files in my computer when I came across the folder that contained all my wedding pictures, feeling rather nostalgic, I opened it up and began to look through the photos.

Then it hit me that ever since Beanie was born, Hub and I haven't spent any quality time together. It doesn't help that he is still based in HK and only flies back home every 2 to 3 weeks for the weekends, and whenever he is back, he will be busy running errands such as buying groceries or baby items for Beanie.

And now that Beanie is taking so much of my time, we don't even have time to call each other. On good days, we're lucky if we can Facetime for 10 mins.

To make matters worse, Hub has just been rotated to another department, which bankers work, on average 70-100 hours A WEEK, inclusive of weekends.

Me, being rather overwhelmed as a new mother, hasn't been the best of mood either. So, we ended up snapping at each most of the time IF we happen to Facetime. So much so that, I don't even feel like talking nowadays... ... ...

Looking at these wedding pictures again reminded myself that we, as a couple must put in effort to keep the romance and love alive in our marriage, but with the baby, work commitments and stress, housework ... etc, it is just so darn difficult.

Hopefully things will get better when Hub is back for good. Another 3-4 mths to go... ...