Financial Planning for Beanie

Little Beanie in the bumbo chair, happily chewing her toys.

Firstly, I think I forgot to mention that I have passed the CFA (Chartered Financial Analyst) Level 3 exam back in June 2011! To think of it, I was almost 7 months pregnant with Beanie and with that stomach, I sat through a grueling 6 hours exam. My whole body was almost cramping with pain after sitting and scribbling non-stop for that 6 hours.

Thankfully, I passed! So technically, upon application and approval from the CFA Institute, I can then rightfully add the title of "CFA" in my name card. With that qualification, I hope to either negotiate for a higher pay or find a better paying job.

Then I quit my job to become a full-time mom. (0_0")

And after reading Ting's blog about the cost of foreign tertiary education for her sons, I started punching my calculator for the amount that I need to squirrel away for my Beanie's education fund. And the amount is no joke if I were to factor in inflation and the higher cost of living in the future.

So, I assume that Beanie can study at a local university and I aim to set aside $100,000, excluding Hub's contribution. Instead of an endowment plan or saving plan, I intend to invest in equities.

I will buy minimum one lot (1000 shares) of a Singapore blue-chip company for Beanie every year, and so long Singapore prospers, that blue chip should clock in decent capital gains, as well as cumulative dividend income in 18 years time.

Since this is Beanie's education fund, I must pick a stock that has very stable recurring profits to pay recurring dividends, and yet at the same time, has the potential for growth and capital gains.

I personally will pick SPH -> Singapore Press Holdings. Why? Because:

1) To invest in SPH is to invest in Singapore, ie: the country's population growth, and the government's commitment to make Singapore a vibrant city. Thus in turn will spur growth in retail, housing, F&B, cultural activities... etc, which will ultimately increase SPH's advertisements , its main source of income. SPH basically has a monopoly control in the mass media industry in Singapore. Even in times of recession, advertisements usually remain relatively stable, so SPH should remain profitable.

2) SPH owns Paragon and the newly completed Clementi Mall. Both malls are situated in excellent locations and enjoy very good traffic. I believe in time to come, SPH will buy or build another 1 or 2 shopping malls and ultimately sells these malls to a REIT (Real Estate Investment Trust) to cash out from its investments and hopefully declare a special dividend to its shareholders!

3) SPH is also a property developer, it's newest completed property: Sky@eleven was sold out. However, as this is a non-core unit, I will not be surprise if SPH eventually carve out its property development unit and list it as a subsidiary.

4) High dividend yield. SPH has been paying about $0.25 per share of dividends for the past few years, which translate to about 5-6% yield. Most endowment or saving plans only pay about 2-4% of annual yield, and without any potential for capital gains.

So, if I were to start investing in 1 lot of SPH per year for the next 18 years, assuming a modest annual gain of 4.5% (inclusive of dividends), my 18 lots should eventually net me $99,364.

And remember that Singapore does not tax capital gains nor dividend income. ;)

Current share price of SPH: $3.66. So, by saving about $300-$400 a month, I will be able to buy a lot of SPH after a year. Of course, as the share price increases, I will have to save more in order to buy 1 lot, however the dividend will help to offset the cost.

So hopefully SPH will eventually fund Beanie's education to Harvard! ;p

Nursing Strike

In preparation for my return to office to serve the 1 month notice, I have gotten my confinement nanny back to take care of Beanie, and have also started to give her bottles of expressed breast milk while I am away.

This naughty little girl has now taken a liking to bottles and is now rejecting my boobs!

This is VERY bad news to a stay-home mom who has no help in the house. I simply do not have the time to wash, sterilize, pump and then feed her via a bottle. So now, I have to train Beanie to latch all over again.

Feeding time is now a battle of wits. Instead of letting her cry it out, I have to try all sorts of tactics to "seduce" Beanie to latch again...

Plan A

Let Beanie suckle when she is in a drowsy state, which means that I have to watch Beanie like a hawk. As soon as she is waking up from her nap, I have to immediately stuff my boob into her mouth before she realizes what exactly is going on. The challenge comes when she is hungry AND sleepy, then she will be extremely fussy and will cry and scream for the bottle. That will bring me to Plan B.

Plan B

Try to latch her while both of us are lying on the bed. I've to pretend that I'm playing peek-a-boo with her, and while she is happily laughing away, I'll stuff my boob into her mouth. Unfortunately, the success rate of Plan B is only about 15%.

Plan C

When Plan B fails, then Plan C is to fish out my iPhone, play nurseries or songs and place the phone in my bra. With the phone in my bra, Beanie will at least face my boobs and I'll then try to sneak my boob into her mouth. Once again, Plan C only works like 2% so far.

Plan D

By now, Beanie is usually VERY angry, fussy, sleepy and hungry and it is now a contest of who blinks first. I will rock her vigorously until she stops crying and most probably giddy from motion sickness until she either fall asleep and then I can proceed to Plan A, or I cave in and give her a bottle of 40 ml of breast milk (she usually drinks at least 140 ml) to pacify her.

To exercise Plan A - Plan D, 4 times a day is no joke. Yes, I am seriously considering the InfantCare 2 blocks away now! Argh!

A mother's dilemma

Ok... I take it all back. In my earlier post, I asked how do full time working moms bear to leave their babies at homes with maids or at Infantcare. Just into the first day in office, I was already re-considering the Infantcare a few blocks away, and the notion of being away from Beanie for a few hours at a time, is becoming more and more appealing... ... ...

Taking care of Beanie full time is actually much harder than my current job. Now that I'm back in office, I enjoy dressing up in the morning, chit-chatting with fellow colleagues (you can only coo at a baby for so long without feeling stupid) and shopping during lunch.

I am really enjoying my new found freedom, and that's because I have a reliable caregiver at home now. I do not have to worry about Beanie because I know that she is in good hands.

Sigh, as much as I love Beanie. I enjoy working too. Previously, I've always thought that being a SAHM is a privilege. Now I understand why being a SAHM is considered a "sacrifice" instead.

Anyway, I've already tendered and my last day will be on this friday! Woohoo!

Beanie's "Ah Goo" moments

Just when Beanie is becoming really cute and fun to play with, my 4 months of maternity leave is up and I'll be heading back to office on Monday! But as I have decided to be a SAHM (Stay-At-Home-Mom) for the next 1 year, I'll be tendering my resignation on the very first day back in office. Hmmm... I wonder how my boss and the HR department will react to that. Unless I can take a no-pay leave for the next 1 year, my resignation will be final.

Currently, I've gotten my confinement nanny back for the next 4 weeks to take care of Beanie while I'm back to work. The thought of leaving cute little Beanie at home is already making me sad. How do those full-time working moms do it? How do they bear to leave their little ones at home with maids? Even if it's my own mother taking care of Beanie, I'll also be very sad with the idea of being away from my little pumpkin for 8-10 hours a day.

Although Beanie does drive me crazy with her fussiness and cries most of the time, but as long as she flashes me her giggling smiles and "ah goos", I'll be filled with love for this little moving bug and wana drown her with kisses and protect her forever. Well.... at least until her next bouts of fussiness that drive me crazy all over again.

Dear little Beanie, you must remember that Mommy loves you very much ok?

Beanie's Closet

I made a headband and some clips for my friend's baby girl, but I can't resist getting Beanie to model for me. Haha... but my model needs more hair!

If I were to start a blogshop selling headbands and hair clips, I will brand the shop "Beanie's Closet". ;)

Something to think about!

Sleep Training Part 2Little Beanie having some tummy time.

So, as I have mentioned in my previous post, I have started Beanie on sleep training, and the first night went well.

That was just a fluke. For the next 4 nights, I think I'm the one who is being sleep trained, ie: how to survive with less than 4 hours of sleep at night. It was so bad that I was having a constant headache during the days and was on the verge of running out of my house and to let Beanie cry and fuss at nights... ...

The 2nd night was the worst, she kept me up from 2.30 am till 5 am. Thankfully Hub was around during the weekend and I managed to nap in the day. Things are s-l-o-w-l-y getting better, for example, last night she still woke up twice in the night, but she only fussed for 15 mins at about 2 am without any feed, and at 5 am, I decided to give her a quick feed and she went back to sleep immediately after that.

I really do hope that she can clock at least 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep soon, so that my headache and eye bags can finally disappear for good!

Home alone with Beanie

Although I am Beanie's main (more like the ONLY) caregiver, I cannot possibly carry her all the time. However, Beanie's attention span in her baby gym is about 10 mins on good days, and more often than not, 10 seconds.

So I usually end up either putting her in a sling and sling her around while I do my housework or put in her stroller and push the stroller around the flat.

Guess these are better alternatives than a screaming baby. Sometimes I wonder whether am I spoiling her by slinging her around all the time. Hmmm, textbooks call this method "attached parenting". According to my mom, I'm spoiling her rotten. But my mom is not the one who has to deal with a screaming baby 24/7 ALONE. So, I'll do whatever it takes to save my sanity.

Anyway, I started sleep training for the 3rd time last night. The first 2 attempts failed miserably where I had to deal with a screaming Beanie for 2 solid hours ALONE at 3 am in the morning. After 2 traumatic nights , I simply do not have the courage to try again until last night.

I noticed that Beanie now has the capacity to sleep up to 6 hours at a time, but she will still wake up at 2-3 am for a comfort suck. So last night, I refused to nurse her and gave her a bottle of water and pacifier instead.

Of course, she was angry and screamed as usual, but after 30 mins (just when I was just about to give in), she started to whimper and within minutes, she actually dozed off.

WHOOHOO!

She then woke up at 6 am, gulped my milk and happily made cute "ah-goos" until about 8 am, and dozed off again.

I will stick to this sleep training routine and hopefully she can start to sleep through the night from 730 pm to 6 am.

Wish me luck!

Pictures Galore!

Beanie was about 2.5 weeks in the above pictures.

Beanie at 1 month

I found a free app that allows me to make picture collages via my iPhone. So guess what have I been doing for the whole of this afternoon? ;)

Looking at all these pictures made me realize how much Beanie has grown... and in less than a month's time, I will be back in office. I'm going to so miss my little Beanie!

If I were a boy... ...

I thought Beanie looks quite girly with her big, pretty and expressive eyes... but every time I bring Beanie out, in her PINK romper, PINK booties and PINK mittens (without her signature headband though), I still have strangers coming up to me "ahh, so cute, boy huh?"

Eh... Auntie, already all pink, and you think my daughter is still a boy??!!

So, being rather bored this morning, I put a blue beanie hat on Beanie and see whether does she look like a boy...

Hmmm. Haha, she does look like a boy huh?

Beanie likes dressing up

Hub bought a few pretty dresses for Beanie from H&M and we had a good time dressing our little doll.

Ahh... the joy of having little baby girls.

As for Beanie, she definitely enjoys the attention whenever we go gaga over her newest outfits. ;)

Professional pictures from D

A dear and talented friend, D came over for dinner and being shameless me, kept bugging him to take some pictures of Beanie because he's a really good photographer!

Ahhh... such beautiful photos!

Beanie and me

Took me quite a few shots to finally get her to look at my iPhone. First mother and daughter picture! ;)

Uninterrupted Sleep... ... Yeah, right.

That's a picture of Beanie when we went for our very first walk in the stroller. She enjoyed the walk a lot, so much so that I'm trying to make a point to go for a walk everyday, as long as the weather permits.

The idea of bringing her out for walks is to expose her to sunshine and fresh air, so that she can differentiate between day and night.

Day -> Fun and sunshine, milk and butterflies, songs and dance, happy mommy and active baby.

Night-> Snuggle and sleep, lullaby and pillows, huggies and whispers, sleepy baby and contented mommy.

Unfortunately, it is not the case.

Beanie is still waking up at least 2 times a night on good days and on bad days, every freaking 2 hours. Since I am on both day AND night shifts, the sleep deprivation is driving me crazy.

So, a few days ago, I sent out a SOS signal and got my father-in-law (FIL) to help out a bit. My FIL took her out for a walk in her stroller and I immediately jumped to bed, looking forward to an uninterrupted sleep, even if it was just a nap.

There I was, drifting happily to sleep and suddenly I heard... "Waaaaaaah Waaaaaaah Waaaaah" and that was Beanie screaming at the top of her lungs.

I must be dreaming... *ignore*

"Waaaaaah Waaaaah Waaaaaah Waaaaah Waaaaaah "

Geez, that was indeed Beanie and she was wailing at the void deck and since I am staying on the 2nd floor, I could still hear her cry.

Sigh, so I headed down to the void deck below to carry a grumpy Beanie.

So much for an uninterrupted sleep.

I am Super "Maria" or should I say Super "Letticia"?

Now that I am on my own to take care of Beanie both in the day AND night, here's a typical 24 hours for me:

12 am - Mid-night feed for Beanie. She is usually very drowsy around this time, so she will nurse and fall asleep most of the time. No problem here.

3 am - She will wake up and wana nurse but I've noticed that she isn't thaaaaat hungry and most probably just want a comfort suck. After that, she is usually VERY awake and talkative. She will smile and coo at me, and as much as I try my best to ignore her, She will still demand my attention by screaming if I were to ignore her for too long a time. So poor mommy gotta entertain Beanie until she is tired at about 430 am. (0_0)

7 am - Beanie wakes up to nurse again. This time, she will be hungry and will hungrily gulp down her milk and continues to snooze. If I'm not too tired, I will start my day by taking my breakfast, feed Cookie, do the laundry and if I'm lucky, read the papers.

9 am - Beanie wakes up to take her milk again and I'll give her a bath.

10 am - Beanie will be at her cutest by smiling a lot and coos and baby talk to me. For the next 30 mins, it is Motherhood at its best and I am rewarded with a sweet-smelling and happy baby.

11 am - Beanie will take a short nap and I will start preparing my lunch and if I'm lucky, I can have my lunch in peace and take a shower while Beanie continues to nap.

12 pm - Feeding time for Beanie again. After that, I will put her in a baby seat with toys, and on good days, she will spend the next 15-25 mins playing with the toys or happily gnawing at her hands.

1 pm - Beanie will start screaming and wana be carried. On bad days, I will have to carry her and eat my lunch at the same time.

2 pm - Another nap time for Beanie and a nap time for me too. I so need this power nap.

4 pm - Beanie will be awake and on good days, I will take her out for a short walk to take in some fresh air and enjoy some sunshine.

5 pm - Since my mother and mother-in-law are working, my Father-in-law will come over to help out by looking after Beanie so that I can have some "me" time. But it's usually time for me to prepare a simple dinner for myself, keep/fold the laundry, feed Cookie (again) or do some simple housework.

630 pm - Another quick bath for Beanie and a quick feed. Then I will start to put her to bed.

730 pm - Dinner time for me and also another quick shower.

930 pm - Feeding time for Beanie and if she isn't fussy, she will fall asleep and I get to watch some TV, go online or text Hubby. But at times, she is extremely fussy due to a blocked nose or a wet nappy, so I will have to spend the next 30-45 mins pacify her.

1030 am - Beanie should be sleeping by now and it's also time for me to knock out. But before I can go to la-la land, I gotta find Cookie (she is usually hiding in some corner snoozing away) and lock her in the wet kitchen.

12 am - The cycle starts all over again.

Thankfully, my mother, brothers and mother-in-law come over to help whenever they are free so that I can have a break. And I also have a really good and efficient part-time helper who helps me with the heavy housework on every sat.

Being a Stay-at-home-mom (i.e: housewife/maid/babysitter) is not easy!

Some random joys of Motherhood that I've experienced first-hand:

1) Inhaling the sweet "baby smell" that all babies have. Hrm, especially from my own little Beanie girl lah.

2) Getting a million-dollar-grin from Beanie in the middle of the night when I am about to die from exhaustion.

3) When Beanie looks at me in the eye, as if I mean the whole world to her.

4) Having her soft little head resting on my shoulder when I rock her to sleep.

5) Hearing her snore. (which means that I will get to sleep soon, whoopee!)

6) Cutting her small fingernails and marvel at how perfect her little fingers are.

7) Removing an enormous piece of snot from her nose so that she can finally breathe and stop being cranky.

8) Watching her sleep peacefully.

9) Hearing her cute baby coos when I talk to her.

10) Touching her baby soft skin when I give her baby massage.

A letter to Beanie

I am supposed to write this BEFORE Beanie was born but I got busy with my knitting and crochet projects that I completely forgot about it until 5 mins ago. And since the Confinement Lady is entertaining a naughty Beanie, who refuses to nap, I better grab my chance to quickly post this blog before I have to be the one to entertain a naughty Beanie.

Dear Beanie

I am really excited about your arrival, yet at the same time, very afraid. I'm afraid that I'll be a bad mother, who will be so caught up with the whole kiasu-parent-thingy that you will not have the opportunity to enjoy your childhood, to make mistakes (ok, small mistakes) in order to explore who you are and live your life.

So this letter is for you and also for myself, to remind myself that I gotta remember to be a cool mom and set my priorities right.

First on the list, I do not need you to be a straight As student or a president scholar but to be a person with integrity, to have a kind heart, to be compassionate and contribute meaningfully to the society in whatever ways, however small those may be.

Secondly, be passionate. Believe strongly in something. Be it a notion, a hobby, a cause... ... just something. Dare to do what you believe in. Even if Mommy and Daddy might not approve (as long as it is legal and with integrity). If you need inspiration, read the life story of Steve Jobs.

Third, be curious, learn and question. I hope I can instill in you a curiosity about the world, the hunger to learn and question . Life is meaningless if we do not learn something new everyday.

Fourth, do NOT be afraid to start all over. Life will have its ups and downs but when you are down, you must be strong and resilient, pick yourself up and start over. Mommy and Daddy will support you in whatever means that we can, but in event that we aren't around anymore, you must have the strength to start all over again.

Lastly and most importantly, find a good man, love passionately and have beautiful children.

With lots of love,

Mommy

Beanie at 8 weeks

All parents think their kids are the cutest right? I've always told myself to keep my perspective and not be one of those blinded parents who think their daughters are future Miss Universes or sons are future Brad Pitts... ...

But seriously speaking... ... isn't my Beanie a total knock-out? ;P

Best gift to Beanie as parents: A strong and loving marriage

I was clearing some old files in my computer when I came across the folder that contained all my wedding pictures, feeling rather nostalgic, I opened it up and began to look through the photos.

Then it hit me that ever since Beanie was born, Hub and I haven't spent any quality time together. It doesn't help that he is still based in HK and only flies back home every 2 to 3 weeks for the weekends, and whenever he is back, he will be busy running errands such as buying groceries or baby items for Beanie.

And now that Beanie is taking so much of my time, we don't even have time to call each other. On good days, we're lucky if we can Facetime for 10 mins.

To make matters worse, Hub has just been rotated to another department, which bankers work, on average 70-100 hours A WEEK, inclusive of weekends.

Me, being rather overwhelmed as a new mother, hasn't been the best of mood either. So, we ended up snapping at each most of the time IF we happen to Facetime. So much so that, I don't even feel like talking nowadays... ... ...

Looking at these wedding pictures again reminded myself that we, as a couple must put in effort to keep the romance and love alive in our marriage, but with the baby, work commitments and stress, housework ... etc, it is just so darn difficult.

Hopefully things will get better when Hub is back for good. Another 3-4 mths to go... ...

Beanie... doesn't sleep

Now that Beanie is approaching 6 weeks, she is becoming really fussy and doesn't nap well in the day, and when that happens, she doesn't sleep well at nights either.

I decided to post some pictures of sleepy Beanie to tell myself that one day, Beanie will sleep through the night.

Meanwhile, I gotta run off now because Beanie is screaming AGAIN, most probably due to the fact that she is overtired and doesn't know how to soothe herself to sleep.

Ugh.

*panda eyes*

Getting Cold Feet

Currently I still have the confinement nanny with me because I've booked her for 2 months and she has bought me some precious me-time, where I can post my blog, read other blogs, check out facebook, go marketing (my only exercise for now), shower in peace and do some gardening.

But the nanny is leaving in 2 weeks time and I begin to dread the day that I'm going to face a screaming Beanie ALONE 24-7 without hubby or anyone's help...

*shivering in fear*

My mother has agreed to come over and help out for a week, but after that it will just be Beanie and me. If you guys don't see me updating my blog, then I must be totally swamped and barely alive... ...

May the force be with me!

Beanie is one month old!

Here's a photo of Beanie when she was a month old, just a few days ago.

What I've observed about Beanie:

-> She has a feisty temper. Textbooks call these babies "spirited"... for example, she really enjoys her bath time and she will make happy faces while taking a bath. But when I remove her from her tiny bathtub, she will SCREAM. Not cry... but a scream "WAHHHHHHHHH!!!" to show her displeasure and trying to tell me "hey Mom, I still wana bathe, put me back in the nice, warm water NOW!" And of course, I will ignore her and very quickly, her screams will escalate into cries.

-> She is very impatient. When she wants her milk, she wants it NOW, and of course she shows that by screaming. According to my confinement nanny, some babies are more patient, they will just making suckling noises or keep opening their mouths to indicate their hunger. Not Beanie, she just screams, then of course that will also escalates into cries of hunger AND anger in seconds.

-> She is a strong girl for her age. When I took her to her pediatrician for a quick check on her blocked tear ducts in her left eye, she could actually STAND on the baby bed (with the doc holding her by her armpits) when the doctor wanted her to be in a sitting position. Doc was like "Look at her! Barely 3 wks and she can stand!" *clueless mommy just stared at Beanie*

-> She can do advance calculus. (Ok, I'm kidding) Hahahaha...

I don't think I've mentioned before, but Beanie's real name is Nicolette.

I still call her Beanie most of the time. Heh...

My plans after maternity leave... ...

4 months of entitled maternity leave and I'm now left with 3 months or so... Time flies when you have a baby! Hrm... except when the baby is screaming away at 3 am, then every 5 mins seem like 5 hours...

Anyway, many have asked what's my plan after the 4 months of leave and my answer is: I'll look after Beanie at home until she is 12 - 14 months old, then I'll return to the work force and Beanie will then go to Infant care.

So, I'll be a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom) for a year or so. On one hand, I feel very blessed and lucky to have Hub's support, yet on the other hand, the thought of losing my financial independence kinda scares me a bit... ...

I do have some plans to set up a blogshop to generate some income but I wonder how realistic is that for me to take care of a baby (without a maid) AND run a small blog shop. Hub has suggested that we should just hire a domestic helper to do household chores while I can concentrate on Beanie and hopefully, a blogshop.

But I really do NOT like the idea of having a stranger in the house, plus the fact that we do not have a spare room for a maid anyway. That means that the maid will have to sleep with Beanie in the nursery, which I am fine with since Beanie is still so young. Although I do prefer Beanie to have her own room... ...

Or am I just being stubborn and stupid and too hard on my myself?

My Poor Cookie

Now that I am always so busy with Beanie, I really do not have time for Cookie at all. Cookie camped outside my bedroom for 2 days when I first returned from the hospital, but I barely had the time to stroke and shower any attention on her. It was heartbreaking... ... I really felt very very guilty.

After a while, cookie must have realized that she is no longer the baby of the house and being the independent cat, she began to spend less time over at our place and spend her time prowling the void deck once again. She would still come over for dinner and she still sleep over at nights, but she no longer follows me like a puppy, like she used to.

Sigh.

Thankfully, Cookie is a popular cat at our block, and she has many other godmothers and godfathers who dote on her, and feed her as well. So, at least I know she is still being well taken care of.

Nonetheless, I really still love Cookie a lot.

Little Beanie at 2 weeks old

Now I am one of those annoying mums that keep talking about their babies, post pictures of their babies and basically, go gaga about their babies.

But then again, that's all I do everyday. My life just evolves around Beanie right now... the day is defined by Beanie's feeding schedule, nap times and poo poo times.

Although my heart is bursting with love for my little Beanie, I do miss my old life. I miss the times where I can go to the gym, wear nice clothes to work, bake muffins and little cakes, play with Cookie, gardening... etc.

Now, Beanie is taking all my time. I'm not exactly complaining because I know that as Beanie grows older, I WILL get my life back... ...

So, I better cherish the time when Beanie is still a baby!

Full month celebration for Beanie... Yes or No?

Hub and I have previously agreed that we will most probably NOT throw a "full month" celebration for Beanie because Hub will be in Hong Kong and I do not want to run the show alone. In additional to the fact that I am anti-consumerism, so the idea of giving away those excessively wrapped gift boxes to guests seems extremely environmental unfriendly. Nor am I keen to receive more baby clothes or toys on Beanie's behalf.

Most friends, especially those who are single or without children, aren't really interested in babies, so I shall spare them the pain. However, I noticed that some of my relatives, especially the elders, like my grannie and my godma, are genuinely into babies and they look forward to meeting new members of the family...

Now I'm wondering should I hold a really small family gathering as a "full month" celebration for Beanie?

Breastfeeding 101

Beanie is officially 2 weeks old and after struggling with breastfeeding for 2 weeks, I've learnt the following:

1) Go see a Lactation Consultant within the 1st week if you have any questions or issues with breastfeeding. Do not wait. JUST GO. I booked a session with Sister Kang from Mt Alvernia and she was very helpful and friendly, and most importantly, she gave me the assurance and confidence that I CAN breastfeed.

2) Massage your breasts before every feed, ie: almost 10-12 times in 24 hours. Engorgement with blocked ducts is not fun. So massage the ducts before they get blocked!

3) Papaya-with-fish-bones-soup works wonder. so much so that I am currently struggling with too much milk and too fast let-down of milk that Little Beanie is choking when nursing.

4) My brest friend pillow is indeed my best friend right now. It really helps in supporting Beanie while nursing. Highly recommended!

5) Lastly and most importantly, do not feed your new born with formula! Formula milk is about 5X sweeter than breastmilk... no wonder a newborn will reject breastmilk after tasting sugar syrup!

Well... my 2 cents worth of advice with respect to breastfeeding.

Birth Story of Beanie

Beanie at 5 days old.

Finally I have a little break to read some newpapers and surf the net... now that my milk has come in, Beanie can suckle to her content and stop being a screaming monster. She is fully latched on and is showing regular feeding schedule at about every 3 hours, making my life easier as compared when we first brought her home.

Anyway, I wana share Beanie's birth story while it is still fresh in my head...

In the wee hours of 18 Aug, Thurs, at 4 am, I noticed that I had a "show" with some really light cramps. The cramps weren't painful and I was scheduled for a check up (39 weeks + 2 days) with my gynae later in the same afternoon, so I simply went back to sleep and continued with my usual activities until the check up.

At the clinic, through the machine, I was already having regular but very light contractions and was already about 2 cm dilated. The Gynae sent me home anyway but warned me that Beanie should arrived the next day and told me to check into the hospital if I were to have 2 strong contractions within 10 mins.

I was really excited that Beanie was finally going to arrive soon! So I called Hub, who was already working from the S'pore office that Beanie should arrived by the next day.

And I went home and did my usual stuff of having dinner and watching tv, while the contractions were rather spaced out and still painless.

->11 pm, the cramps were getting more obvious, my back begun to ache and contractions were still about 15 mins apart.

-> 19 Aug 2011, 1 am, contractions started to be painful but it was still very bearable and I ensured that I continued to walk around the house and did some yoga stretches.

-> 2 am, contractions started to be about 5 mins apart and contractions were painful enough for me to request help from Hub to massage my hips whenever contractions hit. At this point, I figured that we should checked into the hospital soon.

-> 2.30 am, I was admitted into Mt Alvernia Hospital and the nurse checked me that I was 4 cm dilated. I was thinking to myself "not bad, almost half way there and I am still coping ok, seems that I can really do this w/o epidural..." *smug*

I told the nurses that I would prefer to remain active and standing, so I was pretty much to be left alone with a quiet and dim delivery room, and I did all the "text book" stuff: swayed my hips, walked around the room, emptied my bladder regularly, deep breathing and told myself to accept the pain where every contraction would bring Beanie closer to me.

I couldn't sleep nor rest because contracts were hitting me at about every 5-7 mins from 3 am until 8 am. Hub didn't sleep at all because whenever a contraction hit me, he would help massage my hips and applied pressure to relief the pain. I wouldn't be able to survive the past 5.5 hrs without his help.

-> 8 am, my gynae came to check on me and TO MY HORROR, I was still only 4-5 cm dilated?! WTF?! Despite of my best effort, I did NOT progress in my labour at all?! My gynae suggested that the waterbag to be burst to help labour progress and I agreed.

That was when I began to experience the worst pain that I had ever experience in my life. The contractions started to come fast and furious, at every 3-4 mins and they would hit me with a vengeance in my lower back, hips, pelvic and thighs. It was excruciating pain, which was made worse because I had to lie down (on my side though) to hook onto the monitor to ensure Beanie's heartbeats were ok and to have the IV antibiotic drip due to my previous Strep B infection.

-> 9 am, I started to panic and cried aloud in pain and I was losing it. I couldn't be calm and the thought of deep breathing or visualization of my cervix "opening up like a rose" was making me even more desperate. If I had to endure such pain and even more intense pain during the "transition period" for the next 3-5 hrs, I would just DIE. So, after 7+ hours from checking into the hospital, I threw in the towel and opted for the epidural.

-> 9.30 am, epidural started to kick in and to my surprise, I was still able to move my legs, hips and toes, but no pain from contractions! Hurray! Hub and I immediately knocked out for the next 3 hours. Both of us were so tired since we didn't sleep at all in the night. Zzzzzzz.... .... ....

-> 12.30 pm, a nurse checked me and guess what, I was already 9 cm dilated! So it seemed that the more relax I am, the faster the labour could progress. Last 1 cm to go. By this time, I could feel the contractions right under my ribs and they were moderately painful. Even with the epidural, I could still feel some pain from the contractions, I couldn't imagine if I were to proceed without.

-> 1.45 pm, I was fully dilated and getting ready to push. At this stage, Beanie suddenly was showing some signs of distress. Her heartbeat slowed but thankfully I only needed to push for about 10-15 mins and Little Beanie was born at 2.05 pm!

When I saw a healthy little Beanie, screaming at the top of her lungs, being put on my tummy, I was overcome with relief and joy... ...

I have a little baby girl!

Little Beanie has arrived!

There she is... a picture of her when she is just a few minutes old from birth.

Both Beanie and I are doing well and I am still in awed that a little baby girl has popped out of me.

I'll share my birth story shortly, meanwhile, I gotta get the hang of breastfeeding first! Tonight will be the first night at home... hopefully Beanie will sleep well and only wakes up twice for feeding. Wish me luck!!!

Little booties for little Beanie

Pink booties with a matching headband.

Completed orange booties with a matching hat.

Since Little Beanie is still happily hatching inside my tummy, I do have some spare time on my hands and I've managed to complete the orange pair of booties with a matching hat, as well as a pair of pink booties.

If Beanie is still not out soon... I'll start working on a pair of cream booties, something for her to wear when she is 6 mths old.

But seriously... I'll really prefer to have Beanie out and screaming!

Beanie at 39 weeks

Still no signs of Beanie. Ugh.

There were some encouraging Braxton Hicks contractions and some of them were rather painful, but that was it. Just "practice" contractions, as long as I change my positions or rest for a while, they will usually stop.

And Beanie is happily piling on weight. The latest weight estimation of Beanie: 3.8 kg?!?!?!?!?!

I hope that's an OVER-estimation! How am I going to push a 3.8 kg baby out w/o epidural???

*stressed*

Meanwhile, I've decided to walk as much as I can to encourage Beanie to arrive. Hub is now already stationed in Singapore and both of us are really curious about how our Little Beanie looks like.

So, Beanie, please please please come out soon!!!

Beanie at 38 weeks

Little Beanie is still hatching inside me at 38 weeks. Hmmm... no signs or any indications that she is interested to greet me in person yet.

So, here I am, waddling around with a huge stomach, sweating buckets and feeling super hot all the time.

Beanie is luckily in the correct position and her head is engaged. Hub will also be flying back this Sat and will be stationed in Singapore until Beanie is born.

So, I am all ready to have her once Hub is here. So, Little Beanie... are you ready to arrive from this Sat onwards?

My birth plan

Ok, I know that it’s fashionable to write a birth plan nowadays, but my idea of a birth plan is not to have a plan.

Hrm… ok, not very organized, I know but end of the day, I’m just supposed to have a baby loh. That is the plan: have a baby, make sure that Beanie and I are safe and sound. Period.

Of course, I have done all the required readings: Hypno-birthing, Lamaze method, Bradley method … plus another 10 books on “how to birth naturally, drugs-free”. But my focus is very clear, to have both Beanie and I safe and sound. That is the most important thing… having a “good” birth experience is good to have, like icing on the cake.

Nonetheless, I do have a vague birth plan lah:

1) Epidural free. Other than the fact that I want to experience child-birth (it’s crazy, I know), since I’m only going to have 1 or maybe 2 kids, so this is like the only shot I can experience what many other mothers in the world experience, the process of giving birth and I am curious how things are going to be.

2) Labor at home for as long as I can. So, if I wana be epidural free, it is very important that I do NOT go to the hospital too early, because the nurses and doctor will tend to intervene by inducing or wana IV drip here and there, and basically make labor so painful that most mothers give up and take the epidural.
The best outcome is to arrive at the hospital where I'm at least 6 cm dilated, by then it will be too late to have the epidural anyway!

3) Get hubby to fly back from Hong Kong in time. OK, this is the idea: once I feel contractions (hopefully, not false labor), I’ll call Hubby up and he has a 7-hrs window period (inclusive of checking-in and travelling time) to get his ass to Singapore. During the 7 hours, I should be laboring at home.

4) If I am REALLY dying of pain, aiyah, take the epidural loh.

HAHAHA.

So… Beanie is now 37 weeks, her estimated weight is 3.1 kg. I think she is ready to arrive soon… maybe next wk? 8 Aug 2011 seems like a good date. ;)

Headbands galore!
Made the above 2 for Little Beanie

Above two are for Baby Alyssa and Baby Heidi. ;

Also made some hair clips for Little Katie


Having a big stomach now means that I spend more time on my butt then on my feet. Although I do try my best to walk around, but it is getting more and more tiring for me to put one foot in front of the other...

I prefer to swim any day, swimming is my favorite form of exercise now. Only when Im in a pool, I can finally feel weightless although being the only hippo in the pool, kinda makes me self-conscious. Thankfully, the pool isn't usually crowded during weekdays' lunch hour. I try my best to swim at least twice weekly but I must confess that my low energy level barely allows me to crawl to the pool once a week.

Anyway, with more time on my butt, I can now work on producing more headbands and hair clips for my Little Beanie, as well as for my friends' little girls. Hmmm... I wonder how the headbands will look like on their little heads, gotta get my friends to post some photos!

Finally, ONE bootie is completed!

After many days of struggle, I have finally completed ONE bootie! Crocheting is definitey harder than it looks...

Now, I just gotta concentrate on the other bootie so that Beanie can have a pair to wear. ;)

Hub saw the photo and commented "who wears orange shoes???"

*sniff*

Well... girls with the classic orange Birkin bags from Hermes will definitely wear orange shoes! Ok, Mummy will make the orange shoes... hrm, Beanie just gotta make Daddy buy her the orange Birkin bag to match the shoes. (but Mummy will borrow once a while ok?)

Another pet?

And I said I do not exactly like birds... But somehow, I ended with birds in my house once again.

This little yellow cockatiel flew into my neighbour's flat last Sunday. It was slightly injured with a bleeding left claw and a bruised nose. My neighbour's cat, Meimei, is a great hunter, who brings home dead birds,lizards,bugs,leaves... ... etc. The moment she saw Tweety, she was all ready to pounce on her. Luckily, my neighbour managed to catch MeiMei in time and saved Tweety's life.

So, to cut the story short, Tweety ended up at my place instead. How's Cookie taking Tweety's presence? She is totally NOT interested in Tweety at all.

Haha, my black-and-white cat took a look at Tweety, wrinkled her nose and went back to sleep.

Cookie, the cat with ZERO killer instinct.

So, a friend passed an old bird cage to me, and Tweety is now residing in my guest toilet. Whenever I'm free, I'll put Tweety's cage at my planter box so that it can enjoy some greenery and sunshine.

I tried to entice Tweety to come out of its cage to explore my house, but it isn't interested in leaving its safe haven and it is currently still rather defensive and keeps biting my hand whenever I have to handle it.

Hub seems to find Tweety very cute and keeps bugging me "how's the bird? How's the bird?" whenever we are on the phone.

Seriously... I find Tweety a rather silly thing, which poos all over the place, and not being very interactive at all.

Maybe I should let a bird lover to adopt Tweety instead.

34 weeks

I attended a wedding dinner 2 days ago and it hit me that I had not taken any photos of myself with Beanie ever since I got pregnant.

So I immediately bugged Hub to take a few pictures of myself with Beanie since I was all dressed up for the wedding dinner.

To date, I've put on about 9 kg, and from the last visit to the gynae, Beanie's weight was estimated to be around 2 kg, which was considered "average weight". Phew. All these while, I was worried that Beanie isn't putting enough weight because my appetite has been poor.

Indigestion is driving me crazy and I have to eat really small meals. Other expecting mommies are eating to their hearts content, and here I am, eating like a bird. Not only that, nuasea is also hitting me once again. I am constantly gagging in the morning and whenever I walked past strong smelling coffee shops and food courts, waves of nuasea would hit me. But I guess I should have an easier time losing the weight once Beanie is born. ;)

Really not easy being a mom and it's only the beginning!

Will you eat your own placenta?

Have any of you mummies out there consumed your own placenta? The thought of stir-frying my placenta is a bit too hard core for me, but placenta encapsulation seems very do-able.

The placenta contains very high level of prostaglandin which stimulates the shrinking of the uterus (ie: I can get back into shape faster and bleed less!), as well as small amounts of oxytocin which is basically a "feel-good" hormone that can ease post-natal depression and even promote breastmilk supply.

Although there isn't any real, scientific evidence that consumption of own placenta will truely reap the above mentioned benefits... but no harm right? It's my own placenta anyway.

The only catch is that I gotta find a reliable "service provider" that can ensure that the whole process of placenta encapsulation is done in a very hygienic manner and the placenta is indeed mine!

I managed to find 2 such "service providers" online and reviews from forums seem encouraging.

Am I the only crazy woman here who wana eat her own placenta??? None of my friends had done it, so I am on my own here. Hub is very supportive. In fact, he has heard about how the placenta can improve one's complexion and he wana eat MY placenta as well?!?! He is even wondering about the "texture of the placenta and suggest that we should stir-fry it with ginger and spring onions, just like pig's liver and do a taste test..."

And I thought I'm the crazy woman... guess there's a reason why we are married to each other. HAHAHA... Anyway, I told him that the placenta is full of FEMALE hormones, so unless he wana grow some "man-boobs", I seriously dont think it's a good idea for him to eat MY placenta. My placenta is ALL MINE to eat!

More hair accessories!

Made another batch of hair accessories this weekend, a knitted headband with a cloth flower and more hair clips. ;)

Hrm... I realize that the headband might be too thick for a new born, so most probably that will only come in handy when Beanie is at least a few months old. And I also realize that Beanie might not have much hair to start with... so all these hair clips might not be useful until Beanie is older as well!

Guess I gotta make more headbands instead!

Making baby hairclips

Materials bought from Arab street, Daiso and a craft shop in AMK.

Ta dah! Finished products! I'm quite proud of myself. ;) *1st attempt ok*

Will be giving these clips away to friends who has little girls.

Have mothers noticed how much the shops are charging for hair accessories for little girls? I nearly vomited when I saw some shops are selling $6 for a pair of hair clips. Hallo? $6 for a pair??? I can making these with a cost of $0.60 for a pair.

And prettier, cuter somemore.

So I went shopping for materials, and made a few hair clips yesterday evening. It was a rather fun exercise and I enjoyed myself. ;)

I will definitely be making many more hair clips since I bought 2 big bags of raw clips... So, friends with baby daughters are in luck! ;p

Meanwhile, I will also try making some baby headbands and sock monkeys (soft toys) too!

Heh... Little Beanie is lucky to have a crafty mum like me! *stingy more like it!*

Haha!

Sleepless nights

Everyone has been telling me to sleep more before Little Beanie arrives, but it is getting harder and harder to enjoy a good night's sleep nowadays. On the weekends, at least I can catch a nap, but during a workday, I do get really tired and sleepy in the afternoon, so much so that I start to develop headaches... Ugh. ;(

Typical sleep pattern at night:

11 -1130 pm: Goes to bed and try to sleep on my left side

12 am: Lucky if i'm asleep by now

2.30am - 3 am: Gotta turn to my right side because left arm starts to hurt. Turning around takes a lot of effort because Beanie is much heavier now and I gotta rearrange my pillows again.

5 am - 6 am: Cookie will start meowing at the door. She has begun to sleep in the living room instead of the bedroom, and has so far, been behaving very well. Hrm... Except for the loud meowing, head-banging or scratching of the door in the early morns. I don't mind the early hours because usually around this time, I gotta wake up to pee anyway.

So, I will feed Cookie and let her out of the house, and try to catch another 1+ hour of sleep before waking up to get ready for a workday at 7.15 am.

But last night was really bad, I woke up at 2 am, 4 am, 5 am (Cookie's fault), 630 am. I feel like a zombie right now.

Or maybe my body is preparing itself for the sleep deprivation in months to come!

Knitting
I went for my very FIRST knitting class last night and knitting is much harder than I thought!

My neighbour was very kind to pass me her old knitting needles and yarns, unfortunately they were too big to knit baby booties, so I still have to make my way down to a handicraft shop to buy a new set of needles and yarn to knit some baby stuff for Little Beanie.

Previously, my neighbour mentioned that knitting would be just like doing cross stitch, ie: easy peasy. And I was like "ahh, ok. I have done cross stitch before. So knitting should not be a problem right?"

WRONG.

I must have killed many of my brain cells last night while trying VERY hard to coordinate my fingers. Geez, this was much harder than it looked! I made so many mistakes but thankfully the instructor was very patient and she didn't make me feel toooooooooo stupid.

And I wonder do I enough time to knit her a pair of bootie before Beanie arrives? Looking at my progress last night, I really gotta buck up!

Cookie, the baby until the REAL baby arrives

Cookie's sulky corner. This is where Cookie likes to sulk. Whenever she is displeased about something, she will sulk at this corner. But not that we care anyway... Haha.

Cookie has to check out EVERY new piece of furniture in the house. Nothing escapes her eyes... This Ikea step-stool becames her personal step-stool to the retro cabinet, where she likes to hang out when I am in the toilet doing some hand-washing.

Once again, Cookie has to lay her paws on everything. Even this little canvas box that I bought .

This lamp as well...

Cookie is usually rather lady-like when it comes to her sleeping positions, unless she is dead-tired. Guess this was one of those days when comfort was more important than style.

Cookie is a semi-stray cat, which we kind of adopted when we moved into our flat about 1 year ago.

Previously, she treated our place like a hotel and only came over whenever she felt like it. Now, she will start running towards me at the void deck whenever I take out the house keys and will follow me up the stairs to my flat. She sleeps over every night and follows me around in the house.

Now that Hub is away in Hong Kong, it is Cookie who keeps me company and I spend most of my evenings talking to her, as if she is a person. She will usually just flinches her ears or gives me an occasional yawn as a form of acknowledgement. At times when I am eating some prawns or fish, then I will suddenly become her new-found best friend, and she will become very "manja", rubs my legs, paws me at my thighs with her little right paw and looks at me with her big, golden eyes, of course, begging for treats.

I have grown to be very foud of this little cat and I hope that Cookie will continue to be part of our lives when Little Beanie arrives.

But I'm afriad that Cookie will have to learn to sleep in the living room soon... Currently, she is sleeping at a corner of my bed. When Beanie arrives, I will have no choice but to let Cookie sleep in the living room instead.

Sleep training for Cookie gotta start soon!

A little update from me and Little Beanie

Finally I am done with the 6-hours-marathon CFA L3 exam yesterday, I really hope I can finally pass this time round. To pass is to score 70% and above. To be honest, I am not confident of achieving that but nothing much I can do about it now, except to wait for the results in Aug.

Meanwhile, I'm 29 weeks now into my pregnancy and I gotta start preparing for Beanie's arrival! Her room is still in a mess, so we gotta get our act together to ensure that her room is decent and the Confinement Lady gets a decent bed to sleep.

Next, I gotta prewash her baby clothes, blankets, toys. Figure out how to use the breast pumps, replace some of the old parts, get her cot ready, knit her booties, hand-make a soft doll for her, buy some modern cloth diapers and convince Hub to use them.

Woah.

Then gotta read up on natural birthing techniques. Friends have recommended some books for me to read and I am hoping for a drug-free, natural birth experience. *keeping my fingers cross*

I will be giving pre-natal classes a skip as Hub is still based in HK, and if I were to attend the classes alone. I would most probabaly feel very alone and depressed, so might as well just read up some good reference books instead.

Little Beanie is very active, always moving and whooshing around in my tummy. Especially so, during and after my mealtimes. Guess she is actively exercising her limbs when she is being fed!

Talking about exercising, I've been swimming regularly at least twice a week and practising my yoga moves 3 times a week as well. All these are to prepare my body for the up and coming labour. I really pray for a safe and smooth delivery with Hubby at my side.

We are still wondering how we can coordinate, such that Hub can fly back in time to go through labour with me... Hmmm, hopefully Beanie can be corporative and arrives near the estimated date of birth: 20 Aug!

11 more weeks to go!

It's red!!!

I've never thought that I will live to see my Frangipani flowers, but it did!!!

Yay! I'm so happy! ;)

I've been wondering what would be the color of flowers if the tree ever bloom. Due to meanly bugs problem and the fact that I do not get enough sun at my balcony, I never have much hope of seeing my poor tree flowers.

So when ever I walked past a frangipani tree in full bloom, I would look at the flowers jealously and marveled at the beautiful colors of white, yellow, pink, red and even orange.

Giving thanks to the recent hot weather, seems that my frangipani is doing much better. Less meanly bugs and it actually flowers!

Just wana share my joy! ;)