Encounter with the 3rd kind

I don’t know about you but I dread the moments when I would somehow bump into any of my ex-boyfriends. By the way, believe it or not, I only have TWO ex-boyfriends. So, what is the goddamn probability of bumping into one of them?

Disgustingly high! Especially if you live in Singapore where all Singaporeans hang out at the same places during the weekends!

So, unfortunately, I had the honor to bump into my very first boyfriend last week. Actually, he was such a sweetheart, and he still is… during our relationship, he treated me really nicely and I still have sweet memories of us together.

However, after 10 months into the relationship, it dawned upon me that I did not love him. I was in love with the idea of being in love. I was da bitch in the relationship and suggested the breakup. At that time, I was a silly 19-year-old and being very immature, I handled the breakup in an extremely brutal manner and totally broke his heart.

It had been at least 3 or 4 years since I last saw him, and so, the first emotion I felt when we literally bumped into each other was… guilt.

There was so much to say but I can’t bring myself to say much except a “How are you?” and a cold shrug. I quickly fled from the awkward encounter but now, looking back, I wish that I had handled it otherwise.

“I am sorry… I am sorry for what I said years ago. And I hope both of us have learnt something from our past relationship. I do not think we can be friends ever again but you were someone once close to my heart before. Please remember that.”

If only I could say that to him… but I can’t.

“And yah, please also lose some weight. Where’s the hunk I used to hang out with??!! How can you let yourself go like that? Join a gym and get into shape! For Christ’s sake!”

If only I could say that to him too… but I can’t.

And yes, I am still da bitch.