How would you want your funeral to be?

Hubby’s colleague’s wife passed away very suddenly 2 nights ago.

She was up and well, with no inherent or chronic illness. She was only 33 years old, was doing every day’s ordinary stuff, such as watching Korean drama at home, when suddenly, she fainted and had a seizure. Apparently from a stroke.

When I first heard about the incident, I remembered that I told Hubby that she could very well, make a full recovery since she was still so young, at only 33 years old. So, we were discussing how damaging stress can be, and how determination and positive outlook can aid to a full recovery for a stroke patient.

Then a day later, I heard that this lady had passed away.

It took me really by surprise. I mean, how often do you hear a young adult suffer a stroke? Let alone die from it?

Hubby described how everyone really took it very badly at the wake, especially his colleague (ie: the lady’s husband), and it was really heart-breaking.

Upon hearing that, I couldn’t help but to tear and felt really very sad that such a promising life was lost. I would most probably go mad with grief if anything similar were to happen to me.

Then Hubby and I had a very morbid discussion about how we would like our funerals to be, and how the other surviving spouse must be brave and live life to the fullest.

We have promised to each other that, the surviving spouse must be brave and find love once again. If there were children, the children will be reminded of how much the deceased parent must have loved them, but mustn’t stop them from accepting another new parent’s love. The surviving spouse should not let grief and sadness overwhelm, but must find the strength to lead a purposeful life. Nonetheless, a yearly tribute to the deceased spouse on the anniversary would be nice.

I told Hubby that I’ll only want very close friends and relatives to attend my funeral. Hopefully it will not be held at a void deck or the Singapore Casket, but a place like a park, surrounded by pretty flowers and plants, but still very serene and peaceful. No religious rites would be required.

I hope my friends would share about what they would most miss about me and how I had made an impact to their life or outlook. If my death were very sudden, I’ll rather that Hubby took a few weeks to compose himself and then held the wake later, instead of being too emotionally unstable to conduct the wake. I hope it would be an intimate event where friends and relatives can grief, yet at the same time, celebrate how I have lived a fruitful life.

Talking about all this stuff, is very morbid, But I think it allowed Hubby and I to have a deeper understanding between the 2 of us.

Of course, I hope that it will be our future, ADULT children taking care of my funeral in many, many, many years to come. And by then, it will be a full celebration of my life, and instead of grief, everyone who attended the wake should be happy of how rich my life had been, and I would have died as a gutsy, happy, old lady who had experience the full cycle of life and had no regrets about it.

As quoted from the book, “Tuesdays with Morris” -> “when you learn how to die, you will learn how to live”