Life has ups and downs. And during the "down" periods, I will be dramatically depressed and mourned for the loss of a loved one, a loved pet, a sought-after-job-that-I-didn't-get, or another failed exam, a failed interview; or some health issues that I cannot be cured of.
Every trough in life has made me a stronger person, that I know. But when I'm right at the bottom and all hope is lost, I DO NOT want to be a stronger person. I just want to wallow in my misery and feel sorry for myself.
But ultimately, I will pick myself up. Be it hours, days, weeks, months or years later. Life has to move on and wallowing in self-pity will not get me anywhere.
Nonetheless I can't help but to envy those who just seem to have everything. These people are just born blessed. They have everything works out for them and everything seems so EASY. I hope these people count their blessings and give thanks to who-ever-is-up-there.
Then there are others who just have to work so hard. I'm one of these hard-sloggers. I simply have to slog like hell just to be an average person. Sometimes I really feel like giving up, but I cannot admit defeat so easily. Sometimes I asked myself why do I have to fight so hard for? For pride? For dignity? For money? For love? For myself? For family? Why can't I just take things easy and just cruise along? Then there will be times when I beat myself for not fighting hard enough, for not working hard enough, for not doing enough, for not achieving enough... ...
Sigh. And the slogging continue.
Apologize for these senseless ramblings... just need to get these negative feelings out of my system.
6 comments:
Totally understand what you mean. I go through these exact same feelings myself every now and then. Glad to know that I am not alone.
Just know that if you've done what you humanly can, whatever you are, it's enough. :)
BTW, you may not remember me but we met in NTU through Albert and Tina.
Hey Vanessa
Thanks for the encouragement! I def remember you lah. Haha, you are on my FB! And I saw your wedding pics, beautiful beautiful photos. ;)
Wen-ai: Gee... your ramblings sound familiar. I think everyone has these feelings. Sometimes one gets tired of always fighting to survive. Just wanna lie in bed and not face the world.
:) Next time u need to ramble, email me!
I'll get in touch with you next time I'm in Sg and we can catch up?
Meanwhile, chin up girl!
I hope you're feeling better today!! Is it hormonal you think?
Hi Petunia
Yup, feeling much better already. Was feeling down previously due to work related issues. Thanks for asking!
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