Love.... is bullshit?!

Just received an email from a friend, unfortunately, the email irritates the shit out of me. I guess the content of the email is simply full of crap. Oh, did I mention that the email was all about… … what else, “love”.

Here are some of the excerpts:

· “Love strives in hurting. If you don't get hurt, you don't learn how to love. Love doesn't hurt all the time. Though the hurting is still there to test to you, to help you grow. Don't find love: let love finds you. That's why it's called falling in love because you don't force yourself to fall. You just fall. "

· “You cannot finish a book without closing its chapters. If you want to go on, then you have to leave the past as you turn the pages size. Love is not destroyed by a single failure or won by a single caress. It is a lifetime venture in which we are always learning, discovering, and growing.”

· “How to define love: fall but do not stumble, be constant but not too persistent, share and never be unfair, understand and try not to demand, hurt but never keep the pain. Love is like a knife. It can stab the heart or it can carve wonderful images into the soul that always last for a lifetime. Love is supposed to be the most wonderful feeling. It should inspire you and give you joy and strength. But sometimes the things that give you joy can also hurt you in the end.”

The first thing that hit me after reading through the email was: what a load of bullshit, I have just wasted 3 minutes of my life, damned!

The next thing that hit me was: Am I really that cynical? Shouldn’t I feel inspired by these “words of wisdom”?

To be frank, I think I have been relatively lucky in love… except for the fact that one of my ex-boyfriend actually two-timed me. Other than that scumbag, I have been blissfully loved by 2 very good men. So, technically speaking, I should still retain some of those head-in-the-clouds-and-I-am-so-in-love genes in me.

Nope. Nothing… those “romantic” DNAs have all died. In fact, one of my friends just made a comment that I am the most unromantic girl he has ever met in his life. I don’t think that is much of a compliment. Upon some self-reflection, I don’t think I am as jaded before, as I am now am.

I remembered I used to think that giving flowers is one of the sweetest things; a guy can do for a girl. Now, it’s a waste of money. Candle light dinner used to be such a romantic thing, now; I think it’s kinda cheesy. Talking on the phone and whisper sweet nothings used to be my forte, now, my boyfriend and I seem to only talk about our work, monetary issues and politics.

WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME????????!!!!!!!!!

I guess being overseas alone for the past 1.5 years had definitely toughen me up, especially since I was actually living in the Big Apple, New York City for around 14 months. After breathing the cold, hard air of New York, you cannot expect me to remain as fluffy as I was 2 years ago. Plus the fact that I have all along been very independent and being in a big city like New York has not only sharpened my independence streak, it has also honed my dun-you-dare-to-f**k-with-me attitude to a whole new level.

So I have come to realization that, this is what “age” has done to me. Growing older has somehow sucked out my naiveté towards love and dreams. Although now that with age, I am more focused and certain about myself, about who I am and what I want in life. This, in turn, has transformed me to be this selfish, cold-blooded bitch, who might just do anything, in order to attain what ever she wants.

Is this the person whom I want to be?

No.

Now that it’s time for me to go home soon… maybe it is time for me to ponder about the meaning of life again. What ever the case is, I seriously think that I am inherently, a good girl. (Yah… laugh all you want…)

I guess I, not only have to fall in love again, I have to believe in love again.