Do you believe in Long Distance Relationship (LDR)?
When Hub and I were dating, we went through 3.5 years of LDR. He was studying in UK while I was in Singapore and 1.5 yrs later, when he was deemed to come back, I had the opportunity to work in the States for 2 years or so, and thus, another 2 yrs of LDR.
That 3.5 yrs of LDR was one of the hardest thing that I had to go through. There were so many times that I wanted to throw in the towel and said “That’s it, I cant do this anymore”.
But miraculously, we survived the LDR and even more amazing, we survived the relationship when both of us were in the same land area and didn’t drive each other crazy. I must admit that most credit went to Hub since he is the more tolerant and rational one.
After that horrendous 3.5 years, I told myself that I will not go through another LDR again. I told myself that no matter what, I want to be together physically, mentally and emotionally together with my beloved. I’ll give up my career temporarily if I have to.
And now, due to career progression, Hub will be away for a year in a near-by country, which is about 3-4 hours away by plane. And technically, there’s a “spouse allowance” for me to move over as well. Not a “Tai-Tai” kind of allowance, but it is enough for me to survive a prudent lifestyle.
Honestly, I do not even like that country, in my opinion; it is polluted, crowded and extremely materialistic. I’ll rather stay in Singapore; at least Singapore is not polluted, less crowded and also a tad less materialistic. Ha.
But it’s my wishful thinking on my part. I’m not even “invited” to go over; I’ve already been “assigned” by Hub to stay in Singapore to look after the new flat, the plants and the cat.
So, I’m a housekeeper more than a wife huh?
I’m actually a little sad and hurt that Hub finds the new flat, the new plants and the new cat more important than us being together.
I know that it’s not as if he loves me less, just that rationally, it makes more sense for me to remain in Singapore because of my job, my CFA exam, to look after the flat, the plants and the cat. In addition, we’ll only be 3 hrs apart via a plane ride and IT’S ONLY FOR A YEAR.
We have been through so much worse, this should be peanuts.
But to me, it’s not peanuts. Maybe, I just need to grow up.
6 comments:
I can certainly understand how that feels. Before I got married, I had an LDR for 6 years! He is not my hubby...Ha! Enough said!
LDR is not easy to maintain. I have two friends who broke off from their bf working in China.
Then again, I have a good friend who met her other half in US, she came back to Singapore for a few years to work and fulfill her bond. During that time, their LDR was maintained through MSN and emails mostly. They are now happily married and she had gone over to the states to join him.
So I guess same stories can have different endings.
3 hrs away means that you'll probably get to see him on weekends... long weekends... and public hols? That could work for one year eh?
Sinfonia: 6 years!!!! Woah.... Haha, I like your last statement. "Enough said!"
WaterLearner: It is possible to have an happy ending for LDR, but just that it is so tough. But as long as both parties are commited and both see light at the end of the tunnel. I'm just grumbling that I am more of a housekeeper than a wife!
Petunia: Yup, it is definitely workable. Just that work schedule on his part, and my part-time study schedule + work on my part will make travelling tough for the 1st 6 mths. Argh... no such problem if I had passed my exam last year and now it's back to haunt me! O well... nobody to blame but myself.
Think of it as a honeymoon each time you meet! My friends (Singaporean and Korean) have been doing this to/fro-ing thing for so many years, they enjoy each other more each time they are together.
There will be days when you feel miserable and need him the most and he's not there... but... One year will fly by so quickly, you won't even realise it.
ya lor! Silly or not? But one year is not too bad...Skype every night!
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