Some lame pregnancy jokes...

Can a mother get pregnant while nursing?
~Yes, but it’s much easier if she removes the baby from her breast and puts him to sleep first.

The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why?
~‘Cause you’re fatter than they are.

Ever since I’ve been pregnant, I haven’t been able to go to bed at night without onion rings. Is this a normal craving?
~Depends on what you’re doing with them.

I’m modest. Once I’m in the hospital to deliver, who will see me in that delicate position?~Authorized personnel only - doctors, nurses, orderlies, photographers, florists, cleaning crews, journalists, etc.

Where is the best place to store breast milk?
~In your breasts.

What is colic?
~A reminder for new parents to use birth control.

Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
~When the kids are in college.

Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
~Yes, pregnancy.

*grin*