Beanie... doesn't sleep

Now that Beanie is approaching 6 weeks, she is becoming really fussy and doesn't nap well in the day, and when that happens, she doesn't sleep well at nights either.

I decided to post some pictures of sleepy Beanie to tell myself that one day, Beanie will sleep through the night.

Meanwhile, I gotta run off now because Beanie is screaming AGAIN, most probably due to the fact that she is overtired and doesn't know how to soothe herself to sleep.

Ugh.

*panda eyes*

Getting Cold Feet

Currently I still have the confinement nanny with me because I've booked her for 2 months and she has bought me some precious me-time, where I can post my blog, read other blogs, check out facebook, go marketing (my only exercise for now), shower in peace and do some gardening.

But the nanny is leaving in 2 weeks time and I begin to dread the day that I'm going to face a screaming Beanie ALONE 24-7 without hubby or anyone's help...

*shivering in fear*

My mother has agreed to come over and help out for a week, but after that it will just be Beanie and me. If you guys don't see me updating my blog, then I must be totally swamped and barely alive... ...

May the force be with me!

Beanie is one month old!

Here's a photo of Beanie when she was a month old, just a few days ago.

What I've observed about Beanie:

-> She has a feisty temper. Textbooks call these babies "spirited"... for example, she really enjoys her bath time and she will make happy faces while taking a bath. But when I remove her from her tiny bathtub, she will SCREAM. Not cry... but a scream "WAHHHHHHHHH!!!" to show her displeasure and trying to tell me "hey Mom, I still wana bathe, put me back in the nice, warm water NOW!" And of course, I will ignore her and very quickly, her screams will escalate into cries.

-> She is very impatient. When she wants her milk, she wants it NOW, and of course she shows that by screaming. According to my confinement nanny, some babies are more patient, they will just making suckling noises or keep opening their mouths to indicate their hunger. Not Beanie, she just screams, then of course that will also escalates into cries of hunger AND anger in seconds.

-> She is a strong girl for her age. When I took her to her pediatrician for a quick check on her blocked tear ducts in her left eye, she could actually STAND on the baby bed (with the doc holding her by her armpits) when the doctor wanted her to be in a sitting position. Doc was like "Look at her! Barely 3 wks and she can stand!" *clueless mommy just stared at Beanie*

-> She can do advance calculus. (Ok, I'm kidding) Hahahaha...

I don't think I've mentioned before, but Beanie's real name is Nicolette.

I still call her Beanie most of the time. Heh...

My plans after maternity leave... ...

4 months of entitled maternity leave and I'm now left with 3 months or so... Time flies when you have a baby! Hrm... except when the baby is screaming away at 3 am, then every 5 mins seem like 5 hours...

Anyway, many have asked what's my plan after the 4 months of leave and my answer is: I'll look after Beanie at home until she is 12 - 14 months old, then I'll return to the work force and Beanie will then go to Infant care.

So, I'll be a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom) for a year or so. On one hand, I feel very blessed and lucky to have Hub's support, yet on the other hand, the thought of losing my financial independence kinda scares me a bit... ...

I do have some plans to set up a blogshop to generate some income but I wonder how realistic is that for me to take care of a baby (without a maid) AND run a small blog shop. Hub has suggested that we should just hire a domestic helper to do household chores while I can concentrate on Beanie and hopefully, a blogshop.

But I really do NOT like the idea of having a stranger in the house, plus the fact that we do not have a spare room for a maid anyway. That means that the maid will have to sleep with Beanie in the nursery, which I am fine with since Beanie is still so young. Although I do prefer Beanie to have her own room... ...

Or am I just being stubborn and stupid and too hard on my myself?

My Poor Cookie

Now that I am always so busy with Beanie, I really do not have time for Cookie at all. Cookie camped outside my bedroom for 2 days when I first returned from the hospital, but I barely had the time to stroke and shower any attention on her. It was heartbreaking... ... I really felt very very guilty.

After a while, cookie must have realized that she is no longer the baby of the house and being the independent cat, she began to spend less time over at our place and spend her time prowling the void deck once again. She would still come over for dinner and she still sleep over at nights, but she no longer follows me like a puppy, like she used to.

Sigh.

Thankfully, Cookie is a popular cat at our block, and she has many other godmothers and godfathers who dote on her, and feed her as well. So, at least I know she is still being well taken care of.

Nonetheless, I really still love Cookie a lot.

Little Beanie at 2 weeks old

Now I am one of those annoying mums that keep talking about their babies, post pictures of their babies and basically, go gaga about their babies.

But then again, that's all I do everyday. My life just evolves around Beanie right now... the day is defined by Beanie's feeding schedule, nap times and poo poo times.

Although my heart is bursting with love for my little Beanie, I do miss my old life. I miss the times where I can go to the gym, wear nice clothes to work, bake muffins and little cakes, play with Cookie, gardening... etc.

Now, Beanie is taking all my time. I'm not exactly complaining because I know that as Beanie grows older, I WILL get my life back... ...

So, I better cherish the time when Beanie is still a baby!

Full month celebration for Beanie... Yes or No?

Hub and I have previously agreed that we will most probably NOT throw a "full month" celebration for Beanie because Hub will be in Hong Kong and I do not want to run the show alone. In additional to the fact that I am anti-consumerism, so the idea of giving away those excessively wrapped gift boxes to guests seems extremely environmental unfriendly. Nor am I keen to receive more baby clothes or toys on Beanie's behalf.

Most friends, especially those who are single or without children, aren't really interested in babies, so I shall spare them the pain. However, I noticed that some of my relatives, especially the elders, like my grannie and my godma, are genuinely into babies and they look forward to meeting new members of the family...

Now I'm wondering should I hold a really small family gathering as a "full month" celebration for Beanie?

Breastfeeding 101

Beanie is officially 2 weeks old and after struggling with breastfeeding for 2 weeks, I've learnt the following:

1) Go see a Lactation Consultant within the 1st week if you have any questions or issues with breastfeeding. Do not wait. JUST GO. I booked a session with Sister Kang from Mt Alvernia and she was very helpful and friendly, and most importantly, she gave me the assurance and confidence that I CAN breastfeed.

2) Massage your breasts before every feed, ie: almost 10-12 times in 24 hours. Engorgement with blocked ducts is not fun. So massage the ducts before they get blocked!

3) Papaya-with-fish-bones-soup works wonder. so much so that I am currently struggling with too much milk and too fast let-down of milk that Little Beanie is choking when nursing.

4) My brest friend pillow is indeed my best friend right now. It really helps in supporting Beanie while nursing. Highly recommended!

5) Lastly and most importantly, do not feed your new born with formula! Formula milk is about 5X sweeter than breastmilk... no wonder a newborn will reject breastmilk after tasting sugar syrup!

Well... my 2 cents worth of advice with respect to breastfeeding.

Birth Story of Beanie

Beanie at 5 days old.

Finally I have a little break to read some newpapers and surf the net... now that my milk has come in, Beanie can suckle to her content and stop being a screaming monster. She is fully latched on and is showing regular feeding schedule at about every 3 hours, making my life easier as compared when we first brought her home.

Anyway, I wana share Beanie's birth story while it is still fresh in my head...

In the wee hours of 18 Aug, Thurs, at 4 am, I noticed that I had a "show" with some really light cramps. The cramps weren't painful and I was scheduled for a check up (39 weeks + 2 days) with my gynae later in the same afternoon, so I simply went back to sleep and continued with my usual activities until the check up.

At the clinic, through the machine, I was already having regular but very light contractions and was already about 2 cm dilated. The Gynae sent me home anyway but warned me that Beanie should arrived the next day and told me to check into the hospital if I were to have 2 strong contractions within 10 mins.

I was really excited that Beanie was finally going to arrive soon! So I called Hub, who was already working from the S'pore office that Beanie should arrived by the next day.

And I went home and did my usual stuff of having dinner and watching tv, while the contractions were rather spaced out and still painless.

->11 pm, the cramps were getting more obvious, my back begun to ache and contractions were still about 15 mins apart.

-> 19 Aug 2011, 1 am, contractions started to be painful but it was still very bearable and I ensured that I continued to walk around the house and did some yoga stretches.

-> 2 am, contractions started to be about 5 mins apart and contractions were painful enough for me to request help from Hub to massage my hips whenever contractions hit. At this point, I figured that we should checked into the hospital soon.

-> 2.30 am, I was admitted into Mt Alvernia Hospital and the nurse checked me that I was 4 cm dilated. I was thinking to myself "not bad, almost half way there and I am still coping ok, seems that I can really do this w/o epidural..." *smug*

I told the nurses that I would prefer to remain active and standing, so I was pretty much to be left alone with a quiet and dim delivery room, and I did all the "text book" stuff: swayed my hips, walked around the room, emptied my bladder regularly, deep breathing and told myself to accept the pain where every contraction would bring Beanie closer to me.

I couldn't sleep nor rest because contracts were hitting me at about every 5-7 mins from 3 am until 8 am. Hub didn't sleep at all because whenever a contraction hit me, he would help massage my hips and applied pressure to relief the pain. I wouldn't be able to survive the past 5.5 hrs without his help.

-> 8 am, my gynae came to check on me and TO MY HORROR, I was still only 4-5 cm dilated?! WTF?! Despite of my best effort, I did NOT progress in my labour at all?! My gynae suggested that the waterbag to be burst to help labour progress and I agreed.

That was when I began to experience the worst pain that I had ever experience in my life. The contractions started to come fast and furious, at every 3-4 mins and they would hit me with a vengeance in my lower back, hips, pelvic and thighs. It was excruciating pain, which was made worse because I had to lie down (on my side though) to hook onto the monitor to ensure Beanie's heartbeats were ok and to have the IV antibiotic drip due to my previous Strep B infection.

-> 9 am, I started to panic and cried aloud in pain and I was losing it. I couldn't be calm and the thought of deep breathing or visualization of my cervix "opening up like a rose" was making me even more desperate. If I had to endure such pain and even more intense pain during the "transition period" for the next 3-5 hrs, I would just DIE. So, after 7+ hours from checking into the hospital, I threw in the towel and opted for the epidural.

-> 9.30 am, epidural started to kick in and to my surprise, I was still able to move my legs, hips and toes, but no pain from contractions! Hurray! Hub and I immediately knocked out for the next 3 hours. Both of us were so tired since we didn't sleep at all in the night. Zzzzzzz.... .... ....

-> 12.30 pm, a nurse checked me and guess what, I was already 9 cm dilated! So it seemed that the more relax I am, the faster the labour could progress. Last 1 cm to go. By this time, I could feel the contractions right under my ribs and they were moderately painful. Even with the epidural, I could still feel some pain from the contractions, I couldn't imagine if I were to proceed without.

-> 1.45 pm, I was fully dilated and getting ready to push. At this stage, Beanie suddenly was showing some signs of distress. Her heartbeat slowed but thankfully I only needed to push for about 10-15 mins and Little Beanie was born at 2.05 pm!

When I saw a healthy little Beanie, screaming at the top of her lungs, being put on my tummy, I was overcome with relief and joy... ...

I have a little baby girl!

Little Beanie has arrived!

There she is... a picture of her when she is just a few minutes old from birth.

Both Beanie and I are doing well and I am still in awed that a little baby girl has popped out of me.

I'll share my birth story shortly, meanwhile, I gotta get the hang of breastfeeding first! Tonight will be the first night at home... hopefully Beanie will sleep well and only wakes up twice for feeding. Wish me luck!!!

Little booties for little Beanie

Pink booties with a matching headband.

Completed orange booties with a matching hat.

Since Little Beanie is still happily hatching inside my tummy, I do have some spare time on my hands and I've managed to complete the orange pair of booties with a matching hat, as well as a pair of pink booties.

If Beanie is still not out soon... I'll start working on a pair of cream booties, something for her to wear when she is 6 mths old.

But seriously... I'll really prefer to have Beanie out and screaming!

Beanie at 39 weeks

Still no signs of Beanie. Ugh.

There were some encouraging Braxton Hicks contractions and some of them were rather painful, but that was it. Just "practice" contractions, as long as I change my positions or rest for a while, they will usually stop.

And Beanie is happily piling on weight. The latest weight estimation of Beanie: 3.8 kg?!?!?!?!?!

I hope that's an OVER-estimation! How am I going to push a 3.8 kg baby out w/o epidural???

*stressed*

Meanwhile, I've decided to walk as much as I can to encourage Beanie to arrive. Hub is now already stationed in Singapore and both of us are really curious about how our Little Beanie looks like.

So, Beanie, please please please come out soon!!!

Beanie at 38 weeks

Little Beanie is still hatching inside me at 38 weeks. Hmmm... no signs or any indications that she is interested to greet me in person yet.

So, here I am, waddling around with a huge stomach, sweating buckets and feeling super hot all the time.

Beanie is luckily in the correct position and her head is engaged. Hub will also be flying back this Sat and will be stationed in Singapore until Beanie is born.

So, I am all ready to have her once Hub is here. So, Little Beanie... are you ready to arrive from this Sat onwards?

My birth plan

Ok, I know that it’s fashionable to write a birth plan nowadays, but my idea of a birth plan is not to have a plan.

Hrm… ok, not very organized, I know but end of the day, I’m just supposed to have a baby loh. That is the plan: have a baby, make sure that Beanie and I are safe and sound. Period.

Of course, I have done all the required readings: Hypno-birthing, Lamaze method, Bradley method … plus another 10 books on “how to birth naturally, drugs-free”. But my focus is very clear, to have both Beanie and I safe and sound. That is the most important thing… having a “good” birth experience is good to have, like icing on the cake.

Nonetheless, I do have a vague birth plan lah:

1) Epidural free. Other than the fact that I want to experience child-birth (it’s crazy, I know), since I’m only going to have 1 or maybe 2 kids, so this is like the only shot I can experience what many other mothers in the world experience, the process of giving birth and I am curious how things are going to be.

2) Labor at home for as long as I can. So, if I wana be epidural free, it is very important that I do NOT go to the hospital too early, because the nurses and doctor will tend to intervene by inducing or wana IV drip here and there, and basically make labor so painful that most mothers give up and take the epidural.
The best outcome is to arrive at the hospital where I'm at least 6 cm dilated, by then it will be too late to have the epidural anyway!

3) Get hubby to fly back from Hong Kong in time. OK, this is the idea: once I feel contractions (hopefully, not false labor), I’ll call Hubby up and he has a 7-hrs window period (inclusive of checking-in and travelling time) to get his ass to Singapore. During the 7 hours, I should be laboring at home.

4) If I am REALLY dying of pain, aiyah, take the epidural loh.

HAHAHA.

So… Beanie is now 37 weeks, her estimated weight is 3.1 kg. I think she is ready to arrive soon… maybe next wk? 8 Aug 2011 seems like a good date. ;)

Headbands galore!
Made the above 2 for Little Beanie

Above two are for Baby Alyssa and Baby Heidi. ;

Also made some hair clips for Little Katie


Having a big stomach now means that I spend more time on my butt then on my feet. Although I do try my best to walk around, but it is getting more and more tiring for me to put one foot in front of the other...

I prefer to swim any day, swimming is my favorite form of exercise now. Only when Im in a pool, I can finally feel weightless although being the only hippo in the pool, kinda makes me self-conscious. Thankfully, the pool isn't usually crowded during weekdays' lunch hour. I try my best to swim at least twice weekly but I must confess that my low energy level barely allows me to crawl to the pool once a week.

Anyway, with more time on my butt, I can now work on producing more headbands and hair clips for my Little Beanie, as well as for my friends' little girls. Hmmm... I wonder how the headbands will look like on their little heads, gotta get my friends to post some photos!

Finally, ONE bootie is completed!

After many days of struggle, I have finally completed ONE bootie! Crocheting is definitey harder than it looks...

Now, I just gotta concentrate on the other bootie so that Beanie can have a pair to wear. ;)

Hub saw the photo and commented "who wears orange shoes???"

*sniff*

Well... girls with the classic orange Birkin bags from Hermes will definitely wear orange shoes! Ok, Mummy will make the orange shoes... hrm, Beanie just gotta make Daddy buy her the orange Birkin bag to match the shoes. (but Mummy will borrow once a while ok?)

Another pet?

And I said I do not exactly like birds... But somehow, I ended with birds in my house once again.

This little yellow cockatiel flew into my neighbour's flat last Sunday. It was slightly injured with a bleeding left claw and a bruised nose. My neighbour's cat, Meimei, is a great hunter, who brings home dead birds,lizards,bugs,leaves... ... etc. The moment she saw Tweety, she was all ready to pounce on her. Luckily, my neighbour managed to catch MeiMei in time and saved Tweety's life.

So, to cut the story short, Tweety ended up at my place instead. How's Cookie taking Tweety's presence? She is totally NOT interested in Tweety at all.

Haha, my black-and-white cat took a look at Tweety, wrinkled her nose and went back to sleep.

Cookie, the cat with ZERO killer instinct.

So, a friend passed an old bird cage to me, and Tweety is now residing in my guest toilet. Whenever I'm free, I'll put Tweety's cage at my planter box so that it can enjoy some greenery and sunshine.

I tried to entice Tweety to come out of its cage to explore my house, but it isn't interested in leaving its safe haven and it is currently still rather defensive and keeps biting my hand whenever I have to handle it.

Hub seems to find Tweety very cute and keeps bugging me "how's the bird? How's the bird?" whenever we are on the phone.

Seriously... I find Tweety a rather silly thing, which poos all over the place, and not being very interactive at all.

Maybe I should let a bird lover to adopt Tweety instead.

34 weeks

I attended a wedding dinner 2 days ago and it hit me that I had not taken any photos of myself with Beanie ever since I got pregnant.

So I immediately bugged Hub to take a few pictures of myself with Beanie since I was all dressed up for the wedding dinner.

To date, I've put on about 9 kg, and from the last visit to the gynae, Beanie's weight was estimated to be around 2 kg, which was considered "average weight". Phew. All these while, I was worried that Beanie isn't putting enough weight because my appetite has been poor.

Indigestion is driving me crazy and I have to eat really small meals. Other expecting mommies are eating to their hearts content, and here I am, eating like a bird. Not only that, nuasea is also hitting me once again. I am constantly gagging in the morning and whenever I walked past strong smelling coffee shops and food courts, waves of nuasea would hit me. But I guess I should have an easier time losing the weight once Beanie is born. ;)

Really not easy being a mom and it's only the beginning!

Will you eat your own placenta?

Have any of you mummies out there consumed your own placenta? The thought of stir-frying my placenta is a bit too hard core for me, but placenta encapsulation seems very do-able.

The placenta contains very high level of prostaglandin which stimulates the shrinking of the uterus (ie: I can get back into shape faster and bleed less!), as well as small amounts of oxytocin which is basically a "feel-good" hormone that can ease post-natal depression and even promote breastmilk supply.

Although there isn't any real, scientific evidence that consumption of own placenta will truely reap the above mentioned benefits... but no harm right? It's my own placenta anyway.

The only catch is that I gotta find a reliable "service provider" that can ensure that the whole process of placenta encapsulation is done in a very hygienic manner and the placenta is indeed mine!

I managed to find 2 such "service providers" online and reviews from forums seem encouraging.

Am I the only crazy woman here who wana eat her own placenta??? None of my friends had done it, so I am on my own here. Hub is very supportive. In fact, he has heard about how the placenta can improve one's complexion and he wana eat MY placenta as well?!?! He is even wondering about the "texture of the placenta and suggest that we should stir-fry it with ginger and spring onions, just like pig's liver and do a taste test..."

And I thought I'm the crazy woman... guess there's a reason why we are married to each other. HAHAHA... Anyway, I told him that the placenta is full of FEMALE hormones, so unless he wana grow some "man-boobs", I seriously dont think it's a good idea for him to eat MY placenta. My placenta is ALL MINE to eat!

More hair accessories!

Made another batch of hair accessories this weekend, a knitted headband with a cloth flower and more hair clips. ;)

Hrm... I realize that the headband might be too thick for a new born, so most probably that will only come in handy when Beanie is at least a few months old. And I also realize that Beanie might not have much hair to start with... so all these hair clips might not be useful until Beanie is older as well!

Guess I gotta make more headbands instead!