A letter to Beanie

I am supposed to write this BEFORE Beanie was born but I got busy with my knitting and crochet projects that I completely forgot about it until 5 mins ago. And since the Confinement Lady is entertaining a naughty Beanie, who refuses to nap, I better grab my chance to quickly post this blog before I have to be the one to entertain a naughty Beanie.

Dear Beanie

I am really excited about your arrival, yet at the same time, very afraid. I'm afraid that I'll be a bad mother, who will be so caught up with the whole kiasu-parent-thingy that you will not have the opportunity to enjoy your childhood, to make mistakes (ok, small mistakes) in order to explore who you are and live your life.

So this letter is for you and also for myself, to remind myself that I gotta remember to be a cool mom and set my priorities right.

First on the list, I do not need you to be a straight As student or a president scholar but to be a person with integrity, to have a kind heart, to be compassionate and contribute meaningfully to the society in whatever ways, however small those may be.

Secondly, be passionate. Believe strongly in something. Be it a notion, a hobby, a cause... ... just something. Dare to do what you believe in. Even if Mommy and Daddy might not approve (as long as it is legal and with integrity). If you need inspiration, read the life story of Steve Jobs.

Third, be curious, learn and question. I hope I can instill in you a curiosity about the world, the hunger to learn and question . Life is meaningless if we do not learn something new everyday.

Fourth, do NOT be afraid to start all over. Life will have its ups and downs but when you are down, you must be strong and resilient, pick yourself up and start over. Mommy and Daddy will support you in whatever means that we can, but in event that we aren't around anymore, you must have the strength to start all over again.

Lastly and most importantly, find a good man, love passionately and have beautiful children.

With lots of love,

Mommy

Beanie at 8 weeks

All parents think their kids are the cutest right? I've always told myself to keep my perspective and not be one of those blinded parents who think their daughters are future Miss Universes or sons are future Brad Pitts... ...

But seriously speaking... ... isn't my Beanie a total knock-out? ;P

Best gift to Beanie as parents: A strong and loving marriage

I was clearing some old files in my computer when I came across the folder that contained all my wedding pictures, feeling rather nostalgic, I opened it up and began to look through the photos.

Then it hit me that ever since Beanie was born, Hub and I haven't spent any quality time together. It doesn't help that he is still based in HK and only flies back home every 2 to 3 weeks for the weekends, and whenever he is back, he will be busy running errands such as buying groceries or baby items for Beanie.

And now that Beanie is taking so much of my time, we don't even have time to call each other. On good days, we're lucky if we can Facetime for 10 mins.

To make matters worse, Hub has just been rotated to another department, which bankers work, on average 70-100 hours A WEEK, inclusive of weekends.

Me, being rather overwhelmed as a new mother, hasn't been the best of mood either. So, we ended up snapping at each most of the time IF we happen to Facetime. So much so that, I don't even feel like talking nowadays... ... ...

Looking at these wedding pictures again reminded myself that we, as a couple must put in effort to keep the romance and love alive in our marriage, but with the baby, work commitments and stress, housework ... etc, it is just so darn difficult.

Hopefully things will get better when Hub is back for good. Another 3-4 mths to go... ...

Beanie... doesn't sleep

Now that Beanie is approaching 6 weeks, she is becoming really fussy and doesn't nap well in the day, and when that happens, she doesn't sleep well at nights either.

I decided to post some pictures of sleepy Beanie to tell myself that one day, Beanie will sleep through the night.

Meanwhile, I gotta run off now because Beanie is screaming AGAIN, most probably due to the fact that she is overtired and doesn't know how to soothe herself to sleep.

Ugh.

*panda eyes*

Getting Cold Feet

Currently I still have the confinement nanny with me because I've booked her for 2 months and she has bought me some precious me-time, where I can post my blog, read other blogs, check out facebook, go marketing (my only exercise for now), shower in peace and do some gardening.

But the nanny is leaving in 2 weeks time and I begin to dread the day that I'm going to face a screaming Beanie ALONE 24-7 without hubby or anyone's help...

*shivering in fear*

My mother has agreed to come over and help out for a week, but after that it will just be Beanie and me. If you guys don't see me updating my blog, then I must be totally swamped and barely alive... ...

May the force be with me!

Beanie is one month old!

Here's a photo of Beanie when she was a month old, just a few days ago.

What I've observed about Beanie:

-> She has a feisty temper. Textbooks call these babies "spirited"... for example, she really enjoys her bath time and she will make happy faces while taking a bath. But when I remove her from her tiny bathtub, she will SCREAM. Not cry... but a scream "WAHHHHHHHHH!!!" to show her displeasure and trying to tell me "hey Mom, I still wana bathe, put me back in the nice, warm water NOW!" And of course, I will ignore her and very quickly, her screams will escalate into cries.

-> She is very impatient. When she wants her milk, she wants it NOW, and of course she shows that by screaming. According to my confinement nanny, some babies are more patient, they will just making suckling noises or keep opening their mouths to indicate their hunger. Not Beanie, she just screams, then of course that will also escalates into cries of hunger AND anger in seconds.

-> She is a strong girl for her age. When I took her to her pediatrician for a quick check on her blocked tear ducts in her left eye, she could actually STAND on the baby bed (with the doc holding her by her armpits) when the doctor wanted her to be in a sitting position. Doc was like "Look at her! Barely 3 wks and she can stand!" *clueless mommy just stared at Beanie*

-> She can do advance calculus. (Ok, I'm kidding) Hahahaha...

I don't think I've mentioned before, but Beanie's real name is Nicolette.

I still call her Beanie most of the time. Heh...

My plans after maternity leave... ...

4 months of entitled maternity leave and I'm now left with 3 months or so... Time flies when you have a baby! Hrm... except when the baby is screaming away at 3 am, then every 5 mins seem like 5 hours...

Anyway, many have asked what's my plan after the 4 months of leave and my answer is: I'll look after Beanie at home until she is 12 - 14 months old, then I'll return to the work force and Beanie will then go to Infant care.

So, I'll be a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom) for a year or so. On one hand, I feel very blessed and lucky to have Hub's support, yet on the other hand, the thought of losing my financial independence kinda scares me a bit... ...

I do have some plans to set up a blogshop to generate some income but I wonder how realistic is that for me to take care of a baby (without a maid) AND run a small blog shop. Hub has suggested that we should just hire a domestic helper to do household chores while I can concentrate on Beanie and hopefully, a blogshop.

But I really do NOT like the idea of having a stranger in the house, plus the fact that we do not have a spare room for a maid anyway. That means that the maid will have to sleep with Beanie in the nursery, which I am fine with since Beanie is still so young. Although I do prefer Beanie to have her own room... ...

Or am I just being stubborn and stupid and too hard on my myself?

My Poor Cookie

Now that I am always so busy with Beanie, I really do not have time for Cookie at all. Cookie camped outside my bedroom for 2 days when I first returned from the hospital, but I barely had the time to stroke and shower any attention on her. It was heartbreaking... ... I really felt very very guilty.

After a while, cookie must have realized that she is no longer the baby of the house and being the independent cat, she began to spend less time over at our place and spend her time prowling the void deck once again. She would still come over for dinner and she still sleep over at nights, but she no longer follows me like a puppy, like she used to.

Sigh.

Thankfully, Cookie is a popular cat at our block, and she has many other godmothers and godfathers who dote on her, and feed her as well. So, at least I know she is still being well taken care of.

Nonetheless, I really still love Cookie a lot.

Little Beanie at 2 weeks old

Now I am one of those annoying mums that keep talking about their babies, post pictures of their babies and basically, go gaga about their babies.

But then again, that's all I do everyday. My life just evolves around Beanie right now... the day is defined by Beanie's feeding schedule, nap times and poo poo times.

Although my heart is bursting with love for my little Beanie, I do miss my old life. I miss the times where I can go to the gym, wear nice clothes to work, bake muffins and little cakes, play with Cookie, gardening... etc.

Now, Beanie is taking all my time. I'm not exactly complaining because I know that as Beanie grows older, I WILL get my life back... ...

So, I better cherish the time when Beanie is still a baby!

Full month celebration for Beanie... Yes or No?

Hub and I have previously agreed that we will most probably NOT throw a "full month" celebration for Beanie because Hub will be in Hong Kong and I do not want to run the show alone. In additional to the fact that I am anti-consumerism, so the idea of giving away those excessively wrapped gift boxes to guests seems extremely environmental unfriendly. Nor am I keen to receive more baby clothes or toys on Beanie's behalf.

Most friends, especially those who are single or without children, aren't really interested in babies, so I shall spare them the pain. However, I noticed that some of my relatives, especially the elders, like my grannie and my godma, are genuinely into babies and they look forward to meeting new members of the family...

Now I'm wondering should I hold a really small family gathering as a "full month" celebration for Beanie?

Breastfeeding 101

Beanie is officially 2 weeks old and after struggling with breastfeeding for 2 weeks, I've learnt the following:

1) Go see a Lactation Consultant within the 1st week if you have any questions or issues with breastfeeding. Do not wait. JUST GO. I booked a session with Sister Kang from Mt Alvernia and she was very helpful and friendly, and most importantly, she gave me the assurance and confidence that I CAN breastfeed.

2) Massage your breasts before every feed, ie: almost 10-12 times in 24 hours. Engorgement with blocked ducts is not fun. So massage the ducts before they get blocked!

3) Papaya-with-fish-bones-soup works wonder. so much so that I am currently struggling with too much milk and too fast let-down of milk that Little Beanie is choking when nursing.

4) My brest friend pillow is indeed my best friend right now. It really helps in supporting Beanie while nursing. Highly recommended!

5) Lastly and most importantly, do not feed your new born with formula! Formula milk is about 5X sweeter than breastmilk... no wonder a newborn will reject breastmilk after tasting sugar syrup!

Well... my 2 cents worth of advice with respect to breastfeeding.

Birth Story of Beanie

Beanie at 5 days old.

Finally I have a little break to read some newpapers and surf the net... now that my milk has come in, Beanie can suckle to her content and stop being a screaming monster. She is fully latched on and is showing regular feeding schedule at about every 3 hours, making my life easier as compared when we first brought her home.

Anyway, I wana share Beanie's birth story while it is still fresh in my head...

In the wee hours of 18 Aug, Thurs, at 4 am, I noticed that I had a "show" with some really light cramps. The cramps weren't painful and I was scheduled for a check up (39 weeks + 2 days) with my gynae later in the same afternoon, so I simply went back to sleep and continued with my usual activities until the check up.

At the clinic, through the machine, I was already having regular but very light contractions and was already about 2 cm dilated. The Gynae sent me home anyway but warned me that Beanie should arrived the next day and told me to check into the hospital if I were to have 2 strong contractions within 10 mins.

I was really excited that Beanie was finally going to arrive soon! So I called Hub, who was already working from the S'pore office that Beanie should arrived by the next day.

And I went home and did my usual stuff of having dinner and watching tv, while the contractions were rather spaced out and still painless.

->11 pm, the cramps were getting more obvious, my back begun to ache and contractions were still about 15 mins apart.

-> 19 Aug 2011, 1 am, contractions started to be painful but it was still very bearable and I ensured that I continued to walk around the house and did some yoga stretches.

-> 2 am, contractions started to be about 5 mins apart and contractions were painful enough for me to request help from Hub to massage my hips whenever contractions hit. At this point, I figured that we should checked into the hospital soon.

-> 2.30 am, I was admitted into Mt Alvernia Hospital and the nurse checked me that I was 4 cm dilated. I was thinking to myself "not bad, almost half way there and I am still coping ok, seems that I can really do this w/o epidural..." *smug*

I told the nurses that I would prefer to remain active and standing, so I was pretty much to be left alone with a quiet and dim delivery room, and I did all the "text book" stuff: swayed my hips, walked around the room, emptied my bladder regularly, deep breathing and told myself to accept the pain where every contraction would bring Beanie closer to me.

I couldn't sleep nor rest because contracts were hitting me at about every 5-7 mins from 3 am until 8 am. Hub didn't sleep at all because whenever a contraction hit me, he would help massage my hips and applied pressure to relief the pain. I wouldn't be able to survive the past 5.5 hrs without his help.

-> 8 am, my gynae came to check on me and TO MY HORROR, I was still only 4-5 cm dilated?! WTF?! Despite of my best effort, I did NOT progress in my labour at all?! My gynae suggested that the waterbag to be burst to help labour progress and I agreed.

That was when I began to experience the worst pain that I had ever experience in my life. The contractions started to come fast and furious, at every 3-4 mins and they would hit me with a vengeance in my lower back, hips, pelvic and thighs. It was excruciating pain, which was made worse because I had to lie down (on my side though) to hook onto the monitor to ensure Beanie's heartbeats were ok and to have the IV antibiotic drip due to my previous Strep B infection.

-> 9 am, I started to panic and cried aloud in pain and I was losing it. I couldn't be calm and the thought of deep breathing or visualization of my cervix "opening up like a rose" was making me even more desperate. If I had to endure such pain and even more intense pain during the "transition period" for the next 3-5 hrs, I would just DIE. So, after 7+ hours from checking into the hospital, I threw in the towel and opted for the epidural.

-> 9.30 am, epidural started to kick in and to my surprise, I was still able to move my legs, hips and toes, but no pain from contractions! Hurray! Hub and I immediately knocked out for the next 3 hours. Both of us were so tired since we didn't sleep at all in the night. Zzzzzzz.... .... ....

-> 12.30 pm, a nurse checked me and guess what, I was already 9 cm dilated! So it seemed that the more relax I am, the faster the labour could progress. Last 1 cm to go. By this time, I could feel the contractions right under my ribs and they were moderately painful. Even with the epidural, I could still feel some pain from the contractions, I couldn't imagine if I were to proceed without.

-> 1.45 pm, I was fully dilated and getting ready to push. At this stage, Beanie suddenly was showing some signs of distress. Her heartbeat slowed but thankfully I only needed to push for about 10-15 mins and Little Beanie was born at 2.05 pm!

When I saw a healthy little Beanie, screaming at the top of her lungs, being put on my tummy, I was overcome with relief and joy... ...

I have a little baby girl!

Little Beanie has arrived!

There she is... a picture of her when she is just a few minutes old from birth.

Both Beanie and I are doing well and I am still in awed that a little baby girl has popped out of me.

I'll share my birth story shortly, meanwhile, I gotta get the hang of breastfeeding first! Tonight will be the first night at home... hopefully Beanie will sleep well and only wakes up twice for feeding. Wish me luck!!!

Little booties for little Beanie

Pink booties with a matching headband.

Completed orange booties with a matching hat.

Since Little Beanie is still happily hatching inside my tummy, I do have some spare time on my hands and I've managed to complete the orange pair of booties with a matching hat, as well as a pair of pink booties.

If Beanie is still not out soon... I'll start working on a pair of cream booties, something for her to wear when she is 6 mths old.

But seriously... I'll really prefer to have Beanie out and screaming!

Beanie at 39 weeks

Still no signs of Beanie. Ugh.

There were some encouraging Braxton Hicks contractions and some of them were rather painful, but that was it. Just "practice" contractions, as long as I change my positions or rest for a while, they will usually stop.

And Beanie is happily piling on weight. The latest weight estimation of Beanie: 3.8 kg?!?!?!?!?!

I hope that's an OVER-estimation! How am I going to push a 3.8 kg baby out w/o epidural???

*stressed*

Meanwhile, I've decided to walk as much as I can to encourage Beanie to arrive. Hub is now already stationed in Singapore and both of us are really curious about how our Little Beanie looks like.

So, Beanie, please please please come out soon!!!

Beanie at 38 weeks

Little Beanie is still hatching inside me at 38 weeks. Hmmm... no signs or any indications that she is interested to greet me in person yet.

So, here I am, waddling around with a huge stomach, sweating buckets and feeling super hot all the time.

Beanie is luckily in the correct position and her head is engaged. Hub will also be flying back this Sat and will be stationed in Singapore until Beanie is born.

So, I am all ready to have her once Hub is here. So, Little Beanie... are you ready to arrive from this Sat onwards?

My birth plan

Ok, I know that it’s fashionable to write a birth plan nowadays, but my idea of a birth plan is not to have a plan.

Hrm… ok, not very organized, I know but end of the day, I’m just supposed to have a baby loh. That is the plan: have a baby, make sure that Beanie and I are safe and sound. Period.

Of course, I have done all the required readings: Hypno-birthing, Lamaze method, Bradley method … plus another 10 books on “how to birth naturally, drugs-free”. But my focus is very clear, to have both Beanie and I safe and sound. That is the most important thing… having a “good” birth experience is good to have, like icing on the cake.

Nonetheless, I do have a vague birth plan lah:

1) Epidural free. Other than the fact that I want to experience child-birth (it’s crazy, I know), since I’m only going to have 1 or maybe 2 kids, so this is like the only shot I can experience what many other mothers in the world experience, the process of giving birth and I am curious how things are going to be.

2) Labor at home for as long as I can. So, if I wana be epidural free, it is very important that I do NOT go to the hospital too early, because the nurses and doctor will tend to intervene by inducing or wana IV drip here and there, and basically make labor so painful that most mothers give up and take the epidural.
The best outcome is to arrive at the hospital where I'm at least 6 cm dilated, by then it will be too late to have the epidural anyway!

3) Get hubby to fly back from Hong Kong in time. OK, this is the idea: once I feel contractions (hopefully, not false labor), I’ll call Hubby up and he has a 7-hrs window period (inclusive of checking-in and travelling time) to get his ass to Singapore. During the 7 hours, I should be laboring at home.

4) If I am REALLY dying of pain, aiyah, take the epidural loh.

HAHAHA.

So… Beanie is now 37 weeks, her estimated weight is 3.1 kg. I think she is ready to arrive soon… maybe next wk? 8 Aug 2011 seems like a good date. ;)

Headbands galore!
Made the above 2 for Little Beanie

Above two are for Baby Alyssa and Baby Heidi. ;

Also made some hair clips for Little Katie


Having a big stomach now means that I spend more time on my butt then on my feet. Although I do try my best to walk around, but it is getting more and more tiring for me to put one foot in front of the other...

I prefer to swim any day, swimming is my favorite form of exercise now. Only when Im in a pool, I can finally feel weightless although being the only hippo in the pool, kinda makes me self-conscious. Thankfully, the pool isn't usually crowded during weekdays' lunch hour. I try my best to swim at least twice weekly but I must confess that my low energy level barely allows me to crawl to the pool once a week.

Anyway, with more time on my butt, I can now work on producing more headbands and hair clips for my Little Beanie, as well as for my friends' little girls. Hmmm... I wonder how the headbands will look like on their little heads, gotta get my friends to post some photos!

Finally, ONE bootie is completed!

After many days of struggle, I have finally completed ONE bootie! Crocheting is definitey harder than it looks...

Now, I just gotta concentrate on the other bootie so that Beanie can have a pair to wear. ;)

Hub saw the photo and commented "who wears orange shoes???"

*sniff*

Well... girls with the classic orange Birkin bags from Hermes will definitely wear orange shoes! Ok, Mummy will make the orange shoes... hrm, Beanie just gotta make Daddy buy her the orange Birkin bag to match the shoes. (but Mummy will borrow once a while ok?)

Another pet?

And I said I do not exactly like birds... But somehow, I ended with birds in my house once again.

This little yellow cockatiel flew into my neighbour's flat last Sunday. It was slightly injured with a bleeding left claw and a bruised nose. My neighbour's cat, Meimei, is a great hunter, who brings home dead birds,lizards,bugs,leaves... ... etc. The moment she saw Tweety, she was all ready to pounce on her. Luckily, my neighbour managed to catch MeiMei in time and saved Tweety's life.

So, to cut the story short, Tweety ended up at my place instead. How's Cookie taking Tweety's presence? She is totally NOT interested in Tweety at all.

Haha, my black-and-white cat took a look at Tweety, wrinkled her nose and went back to sleep.

Cookie, the cat with ZERO killer instinct.

So, a friend passed an old bird cage to me, and Tweety is now residing in my guest toilet. Whenever I'm free, I'll put Tweety's cage at my planter box so that it can enjoy some greenery and sunshine.

I tried to entice Tweety to come out of its cage to explore my house, but it isn't interested in leaving its safe haven and it is currently still rather defensive and keeps biting my hand whenever I have to handle it.

Hub seems to find Tweety very cute and keeps bugging me "how's the bird? How's the bird?" whenever we are on the phone.

Seriously... I find Tweety a rather silly thing, which poos all over the place, and not being very interactive at all.

Maybe I should let a bird lover to adopt Tweety instead.

34 weeks

I attended a wedding dinner 2 days ago and it hit me that I had not taken any photos of myself with Beanie ever since I got pregnant.

So I immediately bugged Hub to take a few pictures of myself with Beanie since I was all dressed up for the wedding dinner.

To date, I've put on about 9 kg, and from the last visit to the gynae, Beanie's weight was estimated to be around 2 kg, which was considered "average weight". Phew. All these while, I was worried that Beanie isn't putting enough weight because my appetite has been poor.

Indigestion is driving me crazy and I have to eat really small meals. Other expecting mommies are eating to their hearts content, and here I am, eating like a bird. Not only that, nuasea is also hitting me once again. I am constantly gagging in the morning and whenever I walked past strong smelling coffee shops and food courts, waves of nuasea would hit me. But I guess I should have an easier time losing the weight once Beanie is born. ;)

Really not easy being a mom and it's only the beginning!

Will you eat your own placenta?

Have any of you mummies out there consumed your own placenta? The thought of stir-frying my placenta is a bit too hard core for me, but placenta encapsulation seems very do-able.

The placenta contains very high level of prostaglandin which stimulates the shrinking of the uterus (ie: I can get back into shape faster and bleed less!), as well as small amounts of oxytocin which is basically a "feel-good" hormone that can ease post-natal depression and even promote breastmilk supply.

Although there isn't any real, scientific evidence that consumption of own placenta will truely reap the above mentioned benefits... but no harm right? It's my own placenta anyway.

The only catch is that I gotta find a reliable "service provider" that can ensure that the whole process of placenta encapsulation is done in a very hygienic manner and the placenta is indeed mine!

I managed to find 2 such "service providers" online and reviews from forums seem encouraging.

Am I the only crazy woman here who wana eat her own placenta??? None of my friends had done it, so I am on my own here. Hub is very supportive. In fact, he has heard about how the placenta can improve one's complexion and he wana eat MY placenta as well?!?! He is even wondering about the "texture of the placenta and suggest that we should stir-fry it with ginger and spring onions, just like pig's liver and do a taste test..."

And I thought I'm the crazy woman... guess there's a reason why we are married to each other. HAHAHA... Anyway, I told him that the placenta is full of FEMALE hormones, so unless he wana grow some "man-boobs", I seriously dont think it's a good idea for him to eat MY placenta. My placenta is ALL MINE to eat!

More hair accessories!

Made another batch of hair accessories this weekend, a knitted headband with a cloth flower and more hair clips. ;)

Hrm... I realize that the headband might be too thick for a new born, so most probably that will only come in handy when Beanie is at least a few months old. And I also realize that Beanie might not have much hair to start with... so all these hair clips might not be useful until Beanie is older as well!

Guess I gotta make more headbands instead!

Making baby hairclips

Materials bought from Arab street, Daiso and a craft shop in AMK.

Ta dah! Finished products! I'm quite proud of myself. ;) *1st attempt ok*

Will be giving these clips away to friends who has little girls.

Have mothers noticed how much the shops are charging for hair accessories for little girls? I nearly vomited when I saw some shops are selling $6 for a pair of hair clips. Hallo? $6 for a pair??? I can making these with a cost of $0.60 for a pair.

And prettier, cuter somemore.

So I went shopping for materials, and made a few hair clips yesterday evening. It was a rather fun exercise and I enjoyed myself. ;)

I will definitely be making many more hair clips since I bought 2 big bags of raw clips... So, friends with baby daughters are in luck! ;p

Meanwhile, I will also try making some baby headbands and sock monkeys (soft toys) too!

Heh... Little Beanie is lucky to have a crafty mum like me! *stingy more like it!*

Haha!

Sleepless nights

Everyone has been telling me to sleep more before Little Beanie arrives, but it is getting harder and harder to enjoy a good night's sleep nowadays. On the weekends, at least I can catch a nap, but during a workday, I do get really tired and sleepy in the afternoon, so much so that I start to develop headaches... Ugh. ;(

Typical sleep pattern at night:

11 -1130 pm: Goes to bed and try to sleep on my left side

12 am: Lucky if i'm asleep by now

2.30am - 3 am: Gotta turn to my right side because left arm starts to hurt. Turning around takes a lot of effort because Beanie is much heavier now and I gotta rearrange my pillows again.

5 am - 6 am: Cookie will start meowing at the door. She has begun to sleep in the living room instead of the bedroom, and has so far, been behaving very well. Hrm... Except for the loud meowing, head-banging or scratching of the door in the early morns. I don't mind the early hours because usually around this time, I gotta wake up to pee anyway.

So, I will feed Cookie and let her out of the house, and try to catch another 1+ hour of sleep before waking up to get ready for a workday at 7.15 am.

But last night was really bad, I woke up at 2 am, 4 am, 5 am (Cookie's fault), 630 am. I feel like a zombie right now.

Or maybe my body is preparing itself for the sleep deprivation in months to come!

Knitting
I went for my very FIRST knitting class last night and knitting is much harder than I thought!

My neighbour was very kind to pass me her old knitting needles and yarns, unfortunately they were too big to knit baby booties, so I still have to make my way down to a handicraft shop to buy a new set of needles and yarn to knit some baby stuff for Little Beanie.

Previously, my neighbour mentioned that knitting would be just like doing cross stitch, ie: easy peasy. And I was like "ahh, ok. I have done cross stitch before. So knitting should not be a problem right?"

WRONG.

I must have killed many of my brain cells last night while trying VERY hard to coordinate my fingers. Geez, this was much harder than it looked! I made so many mistakes but thankfully the instructor was very patient and she didn't make me feel toooooooooo stupid.

And I wonder do I enough time to knit her a pair of bootie before Beanie arrives? Looking at my progress last night, I really gotta buck up!

Cookie, the baby until the REAL baby arrives

Cookie's sulky corner. This is where Cookie likes to sulk. Whenever she is displeased about something, she will sulk at this corner. But not that we care anyway... Haha.

Cookie has to check out EVERY new piece of furniture in the house. Nothing escapes her eyes... This Ikea step-stool becames her personal step-stool to the retro cabinet, where she likes to hang out when I am in the toilet doing some hand-washing.

Once again, Cookie has to lay her paws on everything. Even this little canvas box that I bought .

This lamp as well...

Cookie is usually rather lady-like when it comes to her sleeping positions, unless she is dead-tired. Guess this was one of those days when comfort was more important than style.

Cookie is a semi-stray cat, which we kind of adopted when we moved into our flat about 1 year ago.

Previously, she treated our place like a hotel and only came over whenever she felt like it. Now, she will start running towards me at the void deck whenever I take out the house keys and will follow me up the stairs to my flat. She sleeps over every night and follows me around in the house.

Now that Hub is away in Hong Kong, it is Cookie who keeps me company and I spend most of my evenings talking to her, as if she is a person. She will usually just flinches her ears or gives me an occasional yawn as a form of acknowledgement. At times when I am eating some prawns or fish, then I will suddenly become her new-found best friend, and she will become very "manja", rubs my legs, paws me at my thighs with her little right paw and looks at me with her big, golden eyes, of course, begging for treats.

I have grown to be very foud of this little cat and I hope that Cookie will continue to be part of our lives when Little Beanie arrives.

But I'm afriad that Cookie will have to learn to sleep in the living room soon... Currently, she is sleeping at a corner of my bed. When Beanie arrives, I will have no choice but to let Cookie sleep in the living room instead.

Sleep training for Cookie gotta start soon!

A little update from me and Little Beanie

Finally I am done with the 6-hours-marathon CFA L3 exam yesterday, I really hope I can finally pass this time round. To pass is to score 70% and above. To be honest, I am not confident of achieving that but nothing much I can do about it now, except to wait for the results in Aug.

Meanwhile, I'm 29 weeks now into my pregnancy and I gotta start preparing for Beanie's arrival! Her room is still in a mess, so we gotta get our act together to ensure that her room is decent and the Confinement Lady gets a decent bed to sleep.

Next, I gotta prewash her baby clothes, blankets, toys. Figure out how to use the breast pumps, replace some of the old parts, get her cot ready, knit her booties, hand-make a soft doll for her, buy some modern cloth diapers and convince Hub to use them.

Woah.

Then gotta read up on natural birthing techniques. Friends have recommended some books for me to read and I am hoping for a drug-free, natural birth experience. *keeping my fingers cross*

I will be giving pre-natal classes a skip as Hub is still based in HK, and if I were to attend the classes alone. I would most probabaly feel very alone and depressed, so might as well just read up some good reference books instead.

Little Beanie is very active, always moving and whooshing around in my tummy. Especially so, during and after my mealtimes. Guess she is actively exercising her limbs when she is being fed!

Talking about exercising, I've been swimming regularly at least twice a week and practising my yoga moves 3 times a week as well. All these are to prepare my body for the up and coming labour. I really pray for a safe and smooth delivery with Hubby at my side.

We are still wondering how we can coordinate, such that Hub can fly back in time to go through labour with me... Hmmm, hopefully Beanie can be corporative and arrives near the estimated date of birth: 20 Aug!

11 more weeks to go!

It's red!!!

I've never thought that I will live to see my Frangipani flowers, but it did!!!

Yay! I'm so happy! ;)

I've been wondering what would be the color of flowers if the tree ever bloom. Due to meanly bugs problem and the fact that I do not get enough sun at my balcony, I never have much hope of seeing my poor tree flowers.

So when ever I walked past a frangipani tree in full bloom, I would look at the flowers jealously and marveled at the beautiful colors of white, yellow, pink, red and even orange.

Giving thanks to the recent hot weather, seems that my frangipani is doing much better. Less meanly bugs and it actually flowers!

Just wana share my joy! ;)

Useless Furniture

Of course, Cookie must check out all the new items in the house. ;)

Hub and I have a weakness for useless furniture. In fact, we often walk into a furniture shop with the intention to buy item A, but more often than not, we will walk out of that shop buying items X, Y and Z instead. Not only did we NOT buy item A, we usually ended up spending MORE than the budgeted amount to buy silly items instead.

That was what happened a few weeks ago.

We were supposed to shop for a single bed, meant for the confinement nanny, which will also double up as Beanie Girl’s bed as she grows older. So, we have been visiting furniture shops, looking for a cool yet functional (and hopefully reasonably priced bed). Ikea didn’t quite cut in under the “cool” factor, so we visited shops like John Erdos, Air and Motto.

But as usual, instead of buying a bed, we ended up with… … a retro looking cabinet and 2 wooden planks-paintings instead, which of course busted the budget for the intended bed.

Of course, both of us love the retro cabinet… with the iron grill as doors, we simply couldn’t resist…

So, thankfully, we managed to buy a simple single bed from Ikea for only $69 and that made me feel so much better about our impulsive buys.

Hrm… I bet Beanie Girl can’t tell the difference anyway between an Ikea bed and a “cool and funky” bed that costs 4 digits.

I promise that Mummy will still make your room looks as good and as chic as the rest of our house!

My letter to LTA, PTC (Public Transport Council) and SBS

After reading today's article on The Straits Times regarding about SBS putting a block to 3rd-party apps, I've decided that Enough. Is. Enough.

I'm a frequent user of SG Buses, this free app that is much more user friendly than Iris. Seriously.... Iris is useless. It takes FOREVER to load, the app doesn't seem to be well maintained at all. Before I downloaded SG Buses, I used to even log into the website of SBS to check on the timings of the buses. That also didnt seem to work because it also takes FOREVER for the website to load.

And now, SBS is blocking these efficient, user-friendly apps. SBS senior VP of Corporate Communications Tammy Tan, referring to these free apps and said (as quoted from the ST), "This could result in wrong information being released to end-users, which is something we will not be able to control. The Introduction of captcha is to prevent unauthorised re-use of propreitary information".

Seriously... your proprietary information is not even useful or user-friendly in the first place. If SBS has already sank in money to develop some useless applications, then admit your mistakes and out source this value-added service to some other more efficient vendor to do the work. Instead, SBS decided to sabotage these vendors which has provided FREE services instead.

I'll really like to remind Miss Tammy Tan that SBS is a PUBLIC TRANSPORT company, it's purpose is to service the public. And the best part, PTC's secretary and quality service manager Eugene Tan said that "regulator typically focus on basic concerns such as fares and bus services, and that bus time apps were a value-added service and did not generally come under its preview".

Well... if SBS's buses are very frequent, then maybe bus schedules are "value-added" services. But when I have to wait 20 mins for a bus, bus schedules and bus time apps aren't "value-added" services, they are part of the "total service" that a public bus company should provide. With today's usage of internet and smart phone applications, it is high time for PTC to include such "value-added" services as BASIC services.

"Dear sir/Mdm

I will like to highlight about the recent shut-down of 3rd-party apps, such as SG Nextbus and SG Buses. I am a frequent user of these 2 applications as they are much more user friendly than Iris, SBS's proprietary app. Iris app is extremely slow to load and even when I use my smartphone to access SBS's website to find out about the arrival timings of the buses, the website is also very slow in processing my request. In conclusion, SBS's proprietary app cannot compete with free downloadable apps, which were previously doing a service to fellow commuters like me.

If that is the case, SBS should outsource this service to more capable and efficient service providers instead. As a paying commuter, why am I being denied of a free and efficient service that has enabled me to commute more conveniently? On today’s Straits Times, 24 May 2011, SBS's Senior VP of corporate Communications Tammy Tan, said that "The introduction of captcha is to prevent unauthorized re-use of proprietary information". However, due to inefficiency of Iris, commuters like me, is unable to use SBS's proprietary information in the first place!

Public transport operators, such as SBS should look at how to enlarge, instead of limit their outreach to commuters. Its focus is to enable commuters to have a smooth and efficient usage of public transport service instead of "safe-guarding" its proprietary information, when such information is meant to benefit the public.

I also suggest that, maybe it’s time that PTC include such “value-added service” into its purview as Bus-time app is indeed a valuable service to frequent bus user like me, where I do not stay next to a MRT station and still rely on buses to commute."

Minimalistic parenting

Now that most people around me noticed my bump, many asked me 2 questions:
1) So… when are you getting a car?
2) Are you getting a maid?

My answer: No and No.

Then most will stare at me in disbelief and some will even smirk and give me a “I-see-how-long-you-can-last” kind of look. Well… I, myself am also curious to how long I can last without a car or a domestic stay-in helper when Beanie finally arrives.

Hub and I can definitely afford a car if we want to, but for what? To park in office? After doing our sums, maintaining a car actually costs more than our current HDB mortgage. We’ll rather save that money for our 2nd property in time to come.

As for a stay-in domestic helper, I do not need one now as I am staying alone and I have a part-time helper who comes in once a week and I think that is more than enough. When Beanie arrives, and if I cannot cope, I will request my part-time helper to come over twice a week instead of once.

I will be lying if I said I wasn’t tired by the end of a work day and yet I still gotta do laundry or cook dinner for myself and wash up as well. But… I enjoy the independence, I enjoy the peace and quiet time that I have to myself and to my cat. While doing these household chores, I take it as exercise and it isn’t that much of a big deal.

I hope I can set myself as an example to Beanie, who learns by watching that a responsible adult will do his/her own chores and helps to clear the mess in the house. Monkeys see, monkeys do right?

I also don’t believe in buying expensive toys or items for babies and children because they outgrow these toys/items in a flash. Hand-me downs are a god-send, and I personally do not encourage consumerism. “Buy/Use what you need” is my mantra, although I must admit that little girls’ clothes and accessories are like the cutest things in the world.

So, currently I am having ideas about hand-making some soft toys and simple dresses for Beanie Girl when I am done with my CFA exam in June. Hmmm… I am not a art-&-craft person, but the thought of making little stuffed rabbits and cutesy patchwork dresses is kind of exciting!

GE 2011

Now that the General Election is over, time for some reflection and analysis.

I stay in Bishan-TPY constituency where SPP was contesting under the leadership of Mr. Chiam. I admire Mr’s Chiam’s dedication and perseverance for the past 27 years in his service to the residents of Potang Pasir, despite the lack of resources. And for that, I have given him, my vote.

Unfortunately, it was not meant to be and it seems to me that he will most probably retire from politics for good. Although he has put up a good fight, his greatest weakness was the lack of proper renewal plan for his party. The new candidates whom Mr. Chiam had recruited joined the party too late and didn’t have the time to work the ground.

SPP’s mandate: “Service before self” comes across as a mandate for a volunteer group. There wasn’t a very clear indication of what SPP really stands for. So, moving forward, If SPP is serious about setting itself as a credible political party, it has to differentiate itself from WP and SDP from a political stand-point.

Most Singaporeans are a practical bunch. At the end of the day, we are concerned about bread-and-butter issues like housing, jobs and cost of living. The grudge against the mass influx of foreign talents only heated up when local infrastructure (ie: public transport and public housing) weren’t ready to accommodate the recent increase and these issues are affecting our lives.

Ideologies such as democracy, fair-play and justice within the political climate simply do not register with a typical Singaporean if he/she has a high paying job, gets her HDB flat on his/her first ballot (without paying through his/her nose) or basically a comfortable life.

WP has recognized the pragmatism of most Singaporeans, and thus more Singaporeans can relate themselves to the party. (Me, for sure). Some other parties campaigned for true blue democracy and other very idealistic notions that I am not interested in.

Without food in your stomach, without a job to pay your bills, without a roof over your head, talking about democracy doesn’t get you anywhere in life.

Most Singaporeans are a well travelled bunch. I don’t about you, but when I visit neighboring countries, I do count my lucky stars that I am a Singaporean. In fact, even when I was having long vacations in developed countries, I still give thanks to the fact that I am born in Singapore, have a decent paying job, to enjoy a relative high quality of life which isn’t that far off from a first-world, developed nation.

I hope the ruling party will truly “reform” and reconnect with its fellow citizens. I am looking forward to how policies will be penned out for the next 5 years. In fact, this year’s National Day Rally will most probably be a very interesting one!

Now that the election is over, let all Singaporeans come together and work towards a better future. For ourselves, for our children, for our beloved country, Singapore.

Beanie's little feet

Todate, we have not bought many things for Beanie Girl yet because we have many generous and kind friends who have donated or loaned many baby items, such as clothes, stroller, a Cot, breast pumps, baby carrier ... ... etc. So much so that I almost don't have to buy anything.

But yesterday, I was just browsing around and saw a "50% clearance sale" banner in a shop that was selling baby's stuff, ok, that was hard to resist and I ventured into the shop. Nothing really caught my eye except these small little booties/socks.

I don't know why but my heart just melted when I saw how tiny these little booties were, and how they would protect Beanie Girl's little feet from the cold when she is born. Hrm... being only $1.99 per pair also helped in the "heart melting" process, I guess.

Beanie Girl's little feet and fists are now kicking me consistently. She is like a wriggling little fish, swimming and tickling my stomach every now and then. Sometimes, her kicks are so strong that my whole tummy will tremble.

I am now in my 24th weeks, and I am really looking forward to seeing her in person in August. Meanwhile, she has to grow and hang in there inside my womb until she is full term!

To some, election is a bother

I have always assumed that ALL Singaporeans will be excited by the notion of casting their sacred votes, until I had a short conversation with a friend, via the MSN. He is actually dismayed with the fact that he has a choice.

Dang?!

I was like “What? U mean you’ll rather not vote?”

“Yah, I’ll prefer a walk over, just like all the previous elections. I don’t want to be bothered with choices. Especially when the opposition party contesting in my constituency, doesn’t seem that credible in the first place.”

Woah. And I thought this election is called the “Awakening Election.” Guess not every Singaporean shares my enthusiasm in our country’s politics.

I cannot help but to be disappointed with my friend. I just hope that he will sit down and think carefully about that vote in his hand. To start with, that vote is not easy to come by.

A bunch of brave, fearless Singaporeans have to step forward, to allow themselves to be scrutinized publicly, to make public speeches to tens of thousands of people, to walk all over the constituency, so that, we, fellow Singaporeans can have a choice. Unlike being “selected” to join the ruling party, these opposition candidates have nothing much to gain. If not for the love of our country and the desire to serve and “make things better”, I really cannot imagine why any sane human beings will want to pick up such a “holy calling” (As previously mentioned by the late Goh Keng Swee)

Once again, I urge all Singaporeans to TREASURE that vote in your hand.

Vote wisely. Vote responsibly.

Vote wisely, Vote responsibly

I am very happy to know that I am entitled to vote for this election 2011, and not only that most of my friends, relatives and many fellow Singaporeans are also given this “privilege” to vote, and for many of them, they will be voting for the very first time! For example, my parents-in-law, who have lived in Singapore all their lives and are in their 50s and 60s are casting their votes for the very first time!

This election is the most exciting and most hotly contested since the 1980s and I am very glad that my vote WILL make a difference in the making of the future of Singapore.

I am not here to indicate my personal political preference but just to share my excitement and anticipation of a hotly contested election. I am grateful to the ruling party, which has enabled Singapore to thrive and advanced from a 3rd world country to a 1st world country within 2 generations. Because I am born in Singapore, I have gotten the chance to be educated, to work overseas for 2 years and travel around the world. Because I am born in Singapore, I see how my standard of living has greatly improved as compared to my grandma and my mother.

But moving forward, how will Singapore be for my Little Beanie Girl, who has yet to be born? What about my future grandchildren, if I am lucky to have any?

For the past years, I have been a volunteer in some organizations and have seen for myself how some Singaporeans of the lower income and less unfortunate group live. Although Singapore’s GDP has been strong for the past 5 years, these groups of people did not benefit from our country’s strong growth.

Is there help for these people? The answer: Yes, but the procedures and process is long and complex, full of red tapes, and most of the time, one has to bulldoze to get things done.

Some brave (but some said foolish) Singaporeans have stepped forward to offer us a choice. I urge all Singaporeans to vote wisely and responsibly. Keeping the past, but most importantly, our future in mind and how we want our country to progress socially, economically and politically in the next generation, and many more generations to come.

Cookie in a box

Cookie's latest obsession is a box. In fact, it is a really small box that can barely contains her. But, of course that fact doesn't bother her and she continues to squeeze into that tiny, little box, pretending it is her safe haven for many, many nights until the box finally went "SPLIT" last night.

I was sitting on my bed laughing at her when the box gave way and as you can see, she seemed rather embarrassed.

Cookie got a bit upset that her safe haven wasn't as snug as before, and she decided to come sulking on my bed instead. Although I taped up the box for her, but it wasn't good enough for this fussy little cat.

Anyway, I will leave the box as it is and I wonder whether Cookie will return to her safe haven once more.

My place is in a magazine!

Dry kitchen on the left and a close-up shot of my dinning area on the right.

My frangipani was still full of leaves then... ...

Home and Decor (a lifestyle magazine) did a feature on my place in their new magazine, "Renovate" this month. Renovate is a brand new magazine, which featured homes that had gone through a major overhaul.

Hub told me to buy a few more copies to keep, so that we can show/give away to prospective buyers when we intend to sell the place in the future. He thinks we can get a better price just because we were being featured in a magazine... ...

Then I told him that I wana stay here for AT LEAST 10 years. By then, buyers might find our design passé!

O well... in anycase, I really do love my flat. ;) Looking forward to be home everyday.

p/s: if only the frangipani can be well again and sprouts more new leaves!

My Gardening Woes I have no idea what is the name of this plant, but I call it the "heart-shape leaves" plant. I have quite a few of these. At least they are doing well. The wrinkled leaves of my Frangipani.

The "botak" brunch. ;( And there are some mealybugs on the new buds.

Help! Not many leaves on my Frangipani Tree... ;(

I have a serious case of mealybugs infestation, especially on my Frangipani tree. I have been battling these bugs for the past few months and they seem to be winning the war!

Most of the new leaves of the Frangipani are wrinkled and some of the older leaves are full of these pesty mealybugs!!! I used white neem oil to spray on the leaves every 3 days or so, but it didn't seem to be working.

So out of desperation, I used my own home-made pesticide, a concoction of olive oil, dishwashing detergent and water. But I guess I was overzealous with the amount of oil used and I ended up killing the leaves instead of the bugs instead!

Almost all of the leaves of the Frangipani withered and dropped off. But I figured that the bugs would die with the leaves right?

Unfortunately that wasn't the case! Once the new leaves appear, I began to see the same irritating mealybugs on the new shoots again! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, I am back to spraying white neem oil on the leaves once again. To make matters worse, some of my other plants within the same planter box are also showing signs of the same infestation.

These mealybugs are driving me nuts. What else can I do to rid these horrible mealybugs???

Please help!!!

Little Beanie is a girl!

Tiny fingers, Tiny toes,
Little ity bity clothes.
Dresses, ribbons and hair to curl.
We 're so thrilled to have a girl!

Went for my 20 weeks Detailed Scan yesterday and finally my gynae could proudly annouce (with conviction) that Beanie is a girl! Previously, Beanie has been very shy and blocked the view everytime when I went for a scan. She is growing well and her scan result is normal, which is a huge relief.

Although I still suffer from morning sickness and still puke practically every morning, but my appetite is much better and I can start eating decent meals without getting the urge to vomit all the time. I've also finally gained 0.5kg from my pre-pregnancy weight and I do hope that I can continue to gain some weight so that Beanie will be a healthy baby.

Hub is very, very happy to have a baby girl, he has always wanted to have a daughter to dote on. ;)

Now I can finally start buying cute, little pink dresses, and think of a name for Beanie. ;)

Still in Hong Kong

I was supposed to fly back to Singapore on Monday, 28 Mar at 11 am. But I missed my flight because I was still warded at The Queen Mary Hospital in Hong Kong. And how did I end up there? Here's the story... (a really long post though)

I arrived at Hong Kong on last friday, 25 March 730 pm as planned and everything was fine. The flight was smooth and uneventful but my only grouse was that I had to carry my own luggage while walking down the flight of stairs from the plane, and then up the bus to the main terminal. Nobody offered any help, so there I was, lugging my luggage while being 18 weeks pregnant.

I was very happy to see Hub and we had a pleasant dinner. Hub said that he had some friends (whom I know as well) in town and the plan was to go hiking on Saturday morning. We would take the beginner's hike and it should not take more than 2.5 hours. The idea sounded good, I've always enjoyed hiking and the thought of some fresh air, greenery and exercise should be good for both me and Beanie.

So, the very next morning, we headed towards "Shek-O" village to hike the famous Dragon's Back Trail. The weather was great, sunny yet cool; and the trail started out really easy. We were happily walking, chatting and enjoying the view, the breeze and each other's company. Then we reached the Dragon's Back, where there were 3 "humps", ie: 3 little hills to climb, and each hill had a flight of rocky steps (at times, rather steep). If I weren't pregnant, these 3 hills would be a piece of cake, I have had done harder trails before. But this time round, with the additional weight of Beanie, things were different.

By the start of the 3rd hump, I began to feel uncomfortable, my tummy felt a little crampy and I was getting a bit worried. However, it was too late to quit, I had to proceed because I was basically stuck in the middle of nowhere! Everyone was getting worried for me as well, we all slowed down and took frequent breaks. I really took my time and had help from both Hub and another guy friend to continue the rest of the hike. Finally after almost 3.5 hours, we finished the trail and headed back to Hong Kong Central for lunch. I felt ok then, tired but fine. Cramps had lessen and by the time lunch was over, things seemed normal. Nonetheless, Hub and I headed back to his apartment to rest while his friends proceeded to do some shopping.

Hub was very sweet to arrange for a cosy dinner with 2 very dear friends who are currently based in Hong Kong and I was really looking forward to it. We were just preparing to dress up and I was just about stepping out of my shower when suddenly I felt a gush of warmth below and saw fresh, red blood. I was bleeding and bleeding A LOT. Fresh blood was flowing out of me and I was in shock. I screamed for Hub and he rushed over. He saw all the blood and went completely pale. I shouted that we had to go to the hospial immediately, and he reached for his phone, called up his friend to ask for the location of the nearest hospital. Meanwhile, I tried to reach for the dressing table to get some tissue and all this time, I was still bleeding. There was so much blood that there was a trail of blood from the shower to dressing area. Hub came over, saw all the blood on the floor and I saw his hands began to shake. At this point, I lost it and started crying and I was so scared that I was going to lose my baby...

We got dressed as fast as we could, rushed down and thankfully hailed a cab within minutes. The cab driver realised that this was an emergency and drove as fast as he could. In fact, he even dashed across a red light just for us. Finally after 10-15 minsutes, which felt like forever, we arrived at The Queen Marry Hospital's A&E department. Although it was rather crowded, but I was put on a bed immediately and soon, a doctor came by to check on me. She used a fetal doppler to check for Beanie's heartbeat, which thankfully, was beating strongly. By then, the bleeding had lessen. When I heard Beanie's heartbeat, I finally managed to calm down. During the short journey on the cab, I was filled with dread and was going through all the worst cases of senarios in my head...

The A&E doctor advised that I be warded so that a Gynaecologist can check on me, and also to do an ultrasound to check on Beanie. And so, I was warded for 3 days 2 nights. During this period, the doctors checked that my cervix was still closed, Beanie's heartbeats were strong and the placenta seemed normal as well. I still had spotting and light cramps for the first 2 days but thankfully by the third day, things had stabilized and I was able to be discharged. The doctors weren't too sure what had caused the massive bleeding, except that my womb or cervix might had been irritated by the strenuous exercise during the hike.

So now, I am still in Hong Kong, resting and not moving too much. It's almost like being under House Arrest. Other than taking very short walks to buy lunches or dinners, I will stay at Hub's apartment, reading, napping, watching TV, basically REST. I can feel Beanie's tiny movements and have been talking to Beanie, telling Beanie to be strong and hang on to Mummy until he/she is ready to be born.

This episode had really scared the hell out of me. I will not attempt such "dangerous" activities anymore. I just want to have a safe flight back to Singapore on Friday and be a considerate mummy, bearing in mind that Beanie can be really fragile.

I am just so so so grateful that Beanie is fine. That's all I ask for.