Wanderlust

I am getting restless. I can’t sit still. I can’t sleep well… … I feel trapped. I think I need to travel again.

In fact, when ever I hear news from my fellow ex-trainees (from New york or Chicago), I can’t help but to feel envious of their adventures and experience. Some of them have secured positions in London, Vienna and Toronto and will continue their career overseas.

But, here I am, stuck in hot, humid and stifling Singapore…

Many times I have wondered how life would have been if I were posted to London or ideally, Vienna. Will my relationship with my beloved still work out? How will my mum and brothers feel about my constant absence? Will my career advances accordingly?

“Choices are hinges of your destiny” – my friend once mentioned. “Almost everything boils down to choice,” she said.

Does everyone really have a choice? To a certain extend, I agree with her statement. With determination, one can be proactive in life and make choices accordingly. But without luck and opportunities, it will be choosing between one shit hole to another dung pit.

Nonetheless… that will still be a choice…

I guess it's time to plan for a trip at the end of the year. Need to get out of here. At least for a while.

Happy – Are you?

Checked out this new club in Tanjong Pagar called “Happy”. It is a very interesting name since Happy is primarily a gay club. Got it? Happy? As like “gay”?

Anyway, the club is cool… with its svelte interior, sleek sound system, great party music and hot servers (all males, of course!), one can really have a great time grooving and drowning in alcohol with style!

One reminder for the ladies, it IS a gay club… so nobody really gives a hoot about your blinking eyelashes, plunging necklines or pouty lips. Well… except fellow female clubbers a.k.a judgmental fashion police-cum-bitches.

Oh, another interesting thing about the club, its unisex toilets. No big deal…you may think, until a guy pee-ed barely 5 inches from me while I was washing my hands! Too bad… he was not that cute and the toilet was too dark for any decent spying.

And of course, I saw some of the most gorgeous guys on earth (unfortunately, are gays)… woah, those bods… were to-die-for. Sigh…. If only… *wistfully*

All in all, I strongly recommended the club. For the open-minded, of course.

I don’t feel appreciated

Yup… I do NOT feel appreciated. As a friend, as a lover, as a employee, as a fellow colleague, as a daughter… as a human being.

Ok, ok… that is a bit tooooo much. But the truth is, I seriously do not feel appreciated for who I am and what I did.

My boyfriend does not appreciate the fact that I try my utmost best not to splurge on shopping. He complains that I do not dress up enough for him… or that I do not have a good dress sense (I think that MY dress sense IS FINE). So, he claims that he wants to buy clothes/bags for me, which are totally not necessary. I HAVE enough clothes and shoes… (not bags though). But the morale of the story is that: Why can’t he appreciates the fact that I wana save money for him? Why can’t he appreciates the fact that I do not want to spend silly money on pedicures and manicures? Why is he so hung up on physical beauty?

Am I really that unglamorous?

I have never felt uglier.

What is wrong with me…?

I went for an interview yesterday at 7 pm and I totally screwed it up.

Sigh… there goes another opportunity for me.

I was totally not myself during the interview… can’t believe that I did so badly… despite reading up on the technical skills required by this position, despite getting good recommendations from my friend who is currently working in the firm, despite my international working experiences in the States.

I made a total fool of myself and wasted everyone’s time.

Argh… I did not sell myself, as the way I should in an interview. I should have impressed them with the stuffs that I have read and prepared for… but I did not do that.

Worse, I could not even answer a technical question posted to me.

And my interviewers advised me that I need to be aggressive to get this job, implying that I am weak.

I have failed.

No knowledge, no confidence… how to be aggressive when I have no confidence?

I need to go back to school again… to study and gain confidence on my technical knowledge.

Study = Money

I have no money. ;(

Sexy Pictures

After checking out Xiaxue’s blog (http://xiaxue.blogspot.com/) , seems that inserting sexy pictures of yourself is getting very popular.

So in order to join in the crowd, I’ve decided to do the unspeakable:

check out my big, round and succulent … …. …. APPLES in the picture below. 5 apples somemore…

Don’t they look delicious….?

Don’t you just want to give them a bite?

Hmmmmm…. *Groan*… They are so good. Fresh from the trees, cannot get any better than that.

;P

Apples! From the apple trees in an apple farm in Indiana last Fall.

Time to update

Have not been blogging and that is mainly due to my heavy workload of my new job. I guess everyone (“everyone” here means my friends) should have known by now that I am currently working for an U.S MNC. So besides slaving my ass off… I barely have enough time to sleep, exercise and file my U.S taxes. Blogging is on my last priority.

Talking about filing of U.S taxes… and it boils my blood. I did my tax last year and F.Y.I, filing U.S tax is not as simple as Singapore. Firstly, I will have to file 2 forms for the U.S federal tax and after that, one will also file tax against the State(s) you have stayed or earned an income from in that fiscal year. So, this year, I will have to file for 2 State taxes – NY and IL, addition of a filing against Federal. In total, 6 forms to file. 6 LONG forms.

Since I left the U.S last November, I have employed a certified tax consultant, before my departure to file my tax for 2005, and paid 150 USD for her *$^%#%&* service!

She is totally irresponsible. Not only did she not reply to my emails/questions, she made many mistakes in my filing. So, out of desperation, I had to file my own taxes again. Considered that 150 USD down the drain then.

So after a few late nights of reading up and filing of 6 tax forms, I am finally done and have just sent out my tax forms via Fedex this morning.

Moral of the story: Do not trust Americans. Especially those who claim that they can file your tax. They will just suck your blood.

Me, myself and Wenai.

A friend mentioned that I have stopped writing about myself anymore. So, I sat down and thought about that comment he had made.

Nope, I do not agree with him. If one realised, I write about nothing but MYSELF!

My days in the States, my petty problems in life, my weight problem in Singapore, aren’t all these all about me? I even wrote a blog about the damn X’mas tree in my office!

p/s: The tree is gone now. I volunteered to keep the Ugliest X’mas Tree away. I can’t stand having ugly things around me.

Anyway, back to the point, I have decided not to write about myself anymore but focus on more “worldly” issues. For example, the company culture of the MNC which I am working for, and how localise it seems.

But sorry to say, I have no time to write since I have to work. Yup… at 11 pm. *excited*

Chinatown

Took this picture sometime back when I just returned to Singapore around November 2004 and I realised that Singapore’s Chinatown is rather “un-chinatown”. At least in comparison to the Chinatowns in the States.

Just want to share with you guys.

There. MY Chinatown.

Last Spring, I was there looking at the Cherry Blossoms. And I thought those blossoms were the prettiest thing I had ever seen in my life. Now... my life lacks beauty.

Catching up…

Just about two days ago, I caught up with a good friend, whom I have got to know during my stay in New York. She is a Malaysian, did her undergrad in Australia, was in New York for about 2.5 years and recently spent 3 months in Colombia. Yup… she is a hell of a cool girl!

I was really glad to catch her for lunch, even though it was for only an hour. But I can feel this affinity towards her as always. She is ever so friendly, spontaneous yet so sensible. It’s always such a joy to share a conversation with her…

I believe that she is still adjusting to her life in Malaysia, especially so after spending a good 5 years abroad. I wish her all the best and I look really forward to meeting her again. Be it in Malaysia, U.S.A or Colombia.

For you K… my best wishes.

Lonely Fairy

I’ve never felt more alone… … A sudden sense of loneliness swept across my soul just about 1 hour ago and I can still feel the Fairy’s wings fluttering in my heart. The Lonely Fairy’s wings…

Despite being back home in Singapore, despite a dinner with my Beloved, despite taking a walk together with him. He made a comment, which froze my heart.

And I looked at him, not recognising him for a moment. Is he for real?

For a second… I felt like I am on the moon. Just like the fairy, looking at the cold, hostile and lifeless moon.

Alone and naked.

New Environment!

Finally… after being a bummer for 2 months, I am now a young, energetic and productive individual in the workforce! Contributing to my country’s GDP and GNP growth rates and increasing Singapore Consumer Spending Index by 0.000143%!

So much for getting a job huh?

Currently. I am a two-day old Financial Anal-yst of a U.S MNC… … So far so good. But as usual, there are a few things that I am anal about:

1) There is a HUGE Christmas tree right outside my cube… in fact, it is BLOCKING the entrance to my cube, which I am sharing with another fellow senior analyst. Everything is fine EXCEPT for this dumb Christmas tree. Hello…? Xmas is long over, so why can’t somebody keep this tree away??? And it doesn’t help that the Xmas tree is VERY UGLY. It’s such an eye sore… …Although it seems that my senior analyst has strong feelings for this tree. He claims that it can ward off “Evil Wind” – “Sha Qi”. So, meanwhile… I will give this tree a chance and keep it under observation for its ability to ward off evil spirits.

2) Someone here claimed that there is a tradition of Newbies buying breakfast for the rest of senior staffs in the department. What a ridiculous tradition??!! Seems to be a “Te-kan” (which means bullying) tactic for the seniors to throw their weight around!

Anyway, there are 2 newcomers in my department and so two of us are supposed to buy breakfasts for the rest of the team. Well… too bad, guys. That is NOT happening since I am pretending that I am short of hearing and make a point to disappear whenever the word “breakfast” is mentioned.

Hmnp. There is no free lunch nor breakfast in this world !!!

Bali Trip 2004

LMW, that’s me.

Read an interesting article in Urban, titled “LMW or HMW”? Which means Low-Maintenance-Woman or High-Maintenance-Women? And I immediately wonder which category I belong to.

I guess the best person to answer that question will be my boyfriend, but since he is not around at the moment, I shall attempt the impossible: to judge oneself.

Of course, it will be a biased vote, but I do seriously think that I am a very LMW. For example:

1) I do not demand flowers/gifts/diamonds/celebrations on V-day because I think it’s really stupid to allow florists/gift-shops/restaurants to overcharge us by 150% on that “special” day.
2) I do not request my boyfriend to call me every night nor to report his daily tasks to me. It will be nice and sweet of him to call me and let me know of his actions, but I do not believe in setting such rules.
3) Buying expensive gifts are not necessary… the gifts should be practical, or at least things that I like. Fortunately, I seldom like expensive stuffs. ;p
4) Dinning in fine restaurants is a bonus but pigging out in hawker centres can be a joy too!

Opps, I hope I am not “spoiling market” here! ;p

As mentioned in the article, one can be high-maintenance materialistically or emotionally, but both are equally exhausting, and men can be equally high-maintenance too. Although if you are freaking loaded, having a gorgeous-model-look-alike girlfriend/boyfriend, who is HM, it might not be a problem to you at all!

Looking around me, I identify a few of my girlfriends to be rather HM, and interestingly enough, most of them are now single. Then it dawns upon me that, these girlfriends of mine are also HM in terms of friendship.

Some of them can be self-centred at times… or in other occasions, I will end up paying for their drinks and meals since they are so used to being “paid for”. Just being their friend at times can be rather tiring; I cannot imagine being their boyfriends!

O well… Nobody is perfect. Let’s hope that everyone will strive to be a better person!

M.I.T

I was just lamenting to another fellow blog-friend about how boring my blog is, and what is the whole point of writing a blog…

Basically, I am toying with the idea of discontinuing my blog. I find my blog dry, not value-adding to any readers at all and most importantly, my English sucks big time!

And so, I asked my blog-friend, “Where do you find the inspiration to write? How do you do it?”

He said, “Writing is like bitching. Some people bitch, I write”

Ahhh, now I see… … … So I sat down and pondered upon the factors that could have contributed to my lack of enthusiasm to blogging.

And it dawned on me that it all boiled down to “M.I.T”

“M” – Motivation

I must need a motivation to write. Sadly, I am not very motivated right now. Besides sharing my thoughts and views with my other blog friends, I cannot find any other source of motivation.

“I” – Inspiration

Where to find inspiration? Books? Movies? Bitching sessions with girlfriends? Instead of bitching with other human beings, it might be a good idea to bitch with my blog instead. At least, my blog will not tell me to shut up!

“T” – Time

No doubt, one must have time and discipline to write. I am aiming for at least 20 minutes a day to write a decent piece of article.

Alright! Hopefully I have the will power to hang on!!!

Money Matters…

There was a recent article in The Straits Times, featuring women and their secret saving nests, concealed from their husbands or boyfriends. So upon reading that article, my boyfriend asked me in jest, whether have I saved a million yet.

Ha… I wish!

Even my mother advises me that keeping a secret account is extremely important, especially so when I am married. To my mum, money equates to security. That makes sense, saving for a rainy day is essential since you will never know when one might get retrenched in this competitive market. Or when will an unfortunate accident/illness strike? *touch wood*

Although I do not understand why the saving account has to be a “secret”? In a relationship, shouldn’t couples be frank and true to each other? In my opinion, couples should look into their money matter together, as one. Money can easily make or break a relationship, so why complicate matters by keeping “unnecessary” secrets?

“What’s mine is mine and what’s his, is mine too”

Well, I don’t believe in that because I think everyone has the right to spend his/her hard-earned money. Of course, one should put some money aside for insurance and investing purposes. However, life is short, so enjoy the spending power while you can with responsibility.

Nonetheless, I do have my own motto:

“What’s mine is mine, what’s his, is his, but what’s ours, is mine!”

Well, somebody has to do the dirty work, isn’t it?

For those who can, Teach.

I am a relief teacher now. Teaching lower secondary English and Math.

Quite a number of my friends burst out laughing when I told them that I am a teacher for the time being.

Yup… for your information, I have once thought about going into teaching… moulding our future generation into fine young men and women, changing their lives and in return, change mine… … But after a harrowing experience with the kids, I’ll have to say “Thanks… but no thanks!”

Being a teacher is HARD WORK! Besides teaching 40 kids per class and mind you, teachers usually have about 4 classes under their belts, these saints are also bogged down by tons of admin work. Marking of papers, preparing of lessons, setting of test papers, collection of health booklets, dental care forms and other rubbish, being in charge of CCAs, scolding talkative kids, puking blood, and banging head against the wall… … All these are the daily chores of a typical teacher.

I have never appreciated my teachers more… and I am truly sorry for all the troubles I had gotten into when I was still a feisty kid.

KUDOS to the teachers!!!

Just the stress of dealing with kids is enough to drive anyone mad… the amount of energy a teacher must possess to motivate a class of 40 kids is tremendous… and most of all, one must have the patience and compassion for children who are rebellious.

After two weeks of screaming at kids… my white flag is up. I can’t wait to surrender. Miss Haj (the teacher whom I am relieving), can you please come back ASAP!!! *wail*
Meanwhile, I have to hang on for another 1.5 weeks before I can hand over those kids to their rightful form teacher, Miss Haj…

Back to more serious matters… there are a few improvements which I feel that MOE (Ministry of Education) of Singapore should really look into:

1) Teaching Assistants

In order to teach effectively, teachers should not be overloaded with other non-teaching tasks. Instead of spending more time assessing their students or improving their methods of teaching, teachers are spending previous time on non-value adding tasks such as collection of funds, organising of school events and daily admin work. If MOE can ration one teaching assistant to every 4 teachers, Im sure it will lighten the load of the teachers significantly. Remember, teacher is meant to teach and not be an event planner/class treasurer/secretary.

2) Reduce the number of students per class (Even for neighbourhood schools)

Currently, there are about 40 students per class and I just found out how impossible it is to handle 40 children at any given time. We are talking about kids between 13 to 14 years old, where they are at the transition stage between children and teenagers. Thus, a certain degree of “mothering” is still expected, yet at the same time, teachers must bear in mind to allow space for students to develop their independence. If the class size can be reduce to between 25 to 30 students per class, this will enable the teachers to shower more attention to each student, focusing on individual’s learning capacity; as well as allowing the teachers to have more control over the class.

Teaching is indeed a rewarding career; it is very amusing and enlightening when students come up with creative ideas and solutions to either school related problems or the little hiccups in daily activities.

In any case… to all difficult parents out there, give the teachers a break. If handling your own children is already giving you a headache, imagine TEACHING 40 kids. You will start vomiting blood by the end of the day.

Fish!!! - Check it out!

Saw this advertisement from Johnnie Walker. (Yes, the old man who walks around with his walking stick while trying to sell whiskey) In fact, I first watched this advert when I went for a Whisky Tasting Session (organised by Johnnie Walker, of course) at Thumper, Goodwood Park Hotel sometime before Xmas 2004.

The tasting session was interesting since I have never attended a whisky tasting before, although I have been to wine tasting, tea tasting and even honey tasting. Therefore, that was indeed a brand new experience for me. Learnt a few interesting facts about whisky, but I am NOT going to talk about these facts here, as you can easily check that out on the internet. So don’t waste my time ok?

What I was really intrigued was Johnnie Walker’s newest advert, titled “Fish”

A school of “fishes”, or should I say “dolphins” are swimming towards the camera, in a deep, open sea….

As the camera starts to zoom in, you will realised that those “dolphins” are actually MEN! NAKED MEN! A huge school of these gorgeous-looking men, swimming together like dolphins… with a very catchy tune playing in the back ground.

And finally, these hotties found land, and started walking on shore… as the label “KEEP WALKING” flashes across the screen.

And there I was, tilting my head, trying to catch a glimpse of what’s between the legs of one of the naked cuties… … …

This is one of my favourite adverts to date. Cool… and naked men always work for me. Mind you, they must be CUTE, naked men… … who know how to swim, of course! Yummy... ...*slurp*

Screamworks – The Key to Brazilian Waxing!

Sick of having unsightly hair sprouting from places where they should NOT be seen?

Then refer to the above price list for the services available from Screamworks!

Screamworks Studio

271 Bukit Timah Road
Balmoral Plaza
#02 – 14A
Singapore 259708

Tel: 6836 1660
Fax: 6836 4006

I am a regular of Screamworks and I must emphasize that Sreamworks’s rates are really competitive compared to other salons. Not only that, with Frederique’s experience (Fred is the director of Screamworks), hair removing is relatively painless and hassle free!

And yes, feel free to scream while waxing! Although Fred will definitely minimizes any pain that you will have to go through!